jillcan Reviews

The Forgotten Ones (2009 Video)

Stupid people do stupid things

[4/10 · 8 May 2009]

A bunch of pretty, but stupid, people set sail on a ship. First the main character's stupid boyfriend doesn't pay attention to her when she warns him that the ship is on the wrong course. Then we find out he's cheating on her. Then they crash land on an island in the middle of nowhere. Then he proposes to her. Then she stupidly says yes. Then a bunch of people die. Then she outwits the creatures that killed all her stupid friends but since there's nothing left she decides to inflate the escape raft that survived the shipwreck, not pack any provisions and paddle aimlessly out to sea, probably to die.

I understand why this film was not deemed good enough to see the light of day in the US - there is no real meat to the plot. Except all the pretty, stupid people, who are eaten by "the forgotten ones", whose history is never adequately revealed. And that could have made for an okay exposition, but instead we get a bunch of crude humor, which includes the main character's pants getting ripped off by one of the creatures, leaving her with only bikini bottoms in which to run Baywatch-like across the beach to her ultimate death sentence.

The Princess Diaries (2001)

Heather Matarazzo was annoying

[6 August 2001]

Could anyone else not STAND Lilly? Heather Matarazzo, already mildly annoying, makes this character even more annoying. I could barely stand to see her on screen.

Besides that, Anne Hathaway is good (thank goodness she got the part of Mia and not Heather), although she looks way too old to be a sophomore. The plot of this movie was interesting, and it was a little long, but overall pretty good. Girls age nine and under at the theater were going crazy for it. So, if you have a pre-pubescent daughter, she's sure to enjoy this girl flick.

Bone Chillers (1996)

Words cannot express how bad it is

[29 July 2001]

Thank goodness little kids didn't have to suffer through more than a few of these episodes. The books were twenty times better. The episodes had only one plotline each, weren't acted very well, had awful special effects, and were extremely cheesy and poorly-written. Why did these even come out on video?

State of Grace (2001–2004)

Pleasant

[3 July 2001]

While it isn't the best television show every made and there is much room for improvement, I think this TV series is very enjoyable to watch, especially the spunk of the two main characters, whom most girls of any age can relate to at some point. The attempt at humor usually fails and is very cliche, but the plots are fun. Given the opportunity (if Fox Family doesn't cancel it!) I think this show will get better over time. I will continue to watch it on Monday nights and hopefully it will establish a relatively large fan base. I will say this- the adults aren't stereotypical "dumb parents" as parents are many times portrayed in kids' TV series and the girls are pretty realistic characters, too. Give this show a chance! And another thing, it's not really for "mature viewers." I think kids can handle the word "Jewish" and it is a little insulting to think that just because a TV series is about a Catholic and a Jewish girl being friends that children under the age of eight couldn't watch it.

Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973)

It can't end like this!

[3 July 2001]

I was expecting something much more of this movie. The first four PotA movies were at least a bit satisfying, but this one didn't really even have to be made. A better ending would have been some kind of final battle, but I guess that couldn't really happen considering we know the Earth is going to be destroyed anyway. Well, I guess a much better ending would have been what happened right after Conquest and how exactly the Earth came to take over humans and eventually man's retreat into primativity, if that's even a word. I think what this movie lacked was any familiar characters whatsoever, except MacDonald and Caesar, who were only just introduced to us in Conquest anyway.

Life with Judy Garland: Me and My Shadows (2001)

The Pot of Gold on the Other Side of the Rainbow

[8/10 · 28 February 2001]

This movie was a very moving and (seemingly) accurate portrayal of Judy Garland's life. Tammy Blanchard is a dead ringer for a young Judy Garland, and Judy Davis is an incredible actress. Victor Garber (Sid Luft) and Alison Pill (Lorna Luft) are also very enjoyable. This is a very non-typical made-for-TV movie that follows the life and career of Judy Garland.

Although four hours, the movie did not drag at all; in fact, it was very fast-paced and could have been extended to six or seven hours easily without getting boring. The movie portrays Judy Garland as a woman who seems to have everything- beautiful children, a great voice, nice looks, and an extremely good career, not to mention lots of money. But she is tormented by directors who criticize her looks, her acting ability, and even her interaction with fans and who stuff pills down her throat, which sparked her addiction.

The movie director is not trying to get audiences to sympathize with Judy all through the movie. Many times we feel that she is the one at fault and are on her last husband Sid's side, and towards the end of the movie we become very close to Judy's second daughter Lorna Luft. I learned a lot from this movie about Judy Garland's life that I didn't know. It was based on the book "Me and My Shadows," which is a memoir by Lorna. It is amazing that this woman could continue her career through so much criticism and sad that she had to die at such a young age.

I hope this movie will air again so that I can catch the first half hour of it, which I missed. I also hope it will be recognized at the Emmy awards. If you happen to see that this movie will be on television in the near future, even if you are not a big Judy Garland fan, you may want to consider watching it.

3000 Miles to Graceland (2001)

3000 Miles to Graceland

[7/10 · 24 February 2001]

3KMtG is a movie about Elvis impersonaters who go and blow up a casino's security guards and most of the casino itself. Then all of them except two, Murphy (Costner) and Michael (Russell) die. Michael somehow gets hooked up with a woman, Cybil (Cox) and her son Jesse, and a whole bunch of things like hostages and more shootings happen.

As you can tell, this movie is kind of confusing and hard to put into words, but overall I pretty much enjoyed it. The acting was believable and there was an actual plot, although it didn't have much to do with Elvis. Although only an hour and forty minutes in length, this movie seemed pretty long, but it wasn't draggy.

Would I see this movie again? Probably. Will I buy it when it comes out on video? I doubt it. Was it worth my money? Yes.

The Bad News Bears (1979–1980)

Oh-kay...

[8 August 1999]

This TV series cracks me up. Who would actually try to make a whole TV series about a baseball team? And what is up with the "slang" terms they use? Are we supposed to know what some kind of phrase like, "What the puckney are you doing" means? I'm not saying that this TV series is bad, it's just strange. Actually I've only seen one episode, because I wasn't alive when this series originally ran. But it was like it should have been a movie...which it was. Well, whatever.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

Very interesting

[1 June 1999]

Let me start of by saying that this is the first STAR WARS movie that I have seen in its entirety. I never bothered to watch more than a few minutes each of the other ones. And, to tell you the truth, the only reason I saw this one was because my nine-year-old brother wasn't allowed to see it and I wanted to make him jealous. But then I ended up tacking a poster of Anakin Skywalker to my door and buying the movie novelization of this. Why? Because it turned out to be a decent movie after all! Jake Lloyd is what makes this movie good. That kid is so cute and irresistably charming. It's sad to think that Anakin will grow up to be Darth Vader. I didn't exactly get WHY this movie was happening but I guess I did get the general plot. ANAKIN! ANAKIN! ANAKIN! Go Anakin! I LOVE that kid. I hope he returns for episodes 2 and 3. And Jar Jar was, um, an interesting character, although I couldn't understand half of what he was saying. I guess I would give this movie two and a half stars out of four. Of course, based on Jake Lloyd's performance I would probably give that a three and a half out of four. So, see this movie if ya want some entertainment. It's very decent, and even if you don't like STAR WARS you might find this enjoyable. I don't think kids aged nine and under would really understand it, but there is nothing inappropriate. The only things little kids would like about it would probably be the lightsabers and the fights and the funny computer-animated characters. But, anyway, I recommend this to, well, anyone, basically. Don't expect the best, but don't expect the worst either.

Susie Q (1996 TV Movie)

So cute

[12 April 1999]

This movie was one of the cutest movies I have ever seen. The plot is funky and I really enjoyed it. I taped it but I taped over it. I wish I hadn't. I will tape it when and if it comes on again. Just watch it. It is very enjoyable for kids, especially.

With Murder in Mind (1992 TV Movie)

Wow, this movie was really good

[7 April 1999]

This movie, though it looked a little boring, actually turned out to be really good. It's about a woman named Gayle Wolfer who sells houses. One day, when she is showing a man a house, the man makes Gayle and the people who live in the house get down on the floor. He ties them up, you know the deal. Then he shoots Gayle about three times. Luckily, she survives, and is determined to find out who the person who wanted to kill her is and where he is at. One day, when she and Bob Sprague are at the county fair, she sees someone and recognizes him as the man who tried to kill her, but hardly anyone believes her. So she goes to a trial in court. This movie may seem like just one of those normal good guy/bad guy movies but it's actually really good, especially the acting.

Irreconcilable Differences (1984)

Cute!

[7 April 1999]

The actors in this movie make the characters seem very real and well-rounded. Drew Barrymore is Casey Brodsky, a child whose parents are going through a divorce. She can't take it anymore because they keep blaming/using her, so she decides to go to court to see if she can divorce herself from her parents. The movie is Casey's story as she tells it in court. It's a very cute movie for the whole family and I'm sure most of us have already seen it at least twice, but if you haven't then I'd recommend it.

Corrina, Corrina (1994)

A heart-warming movie for the whole family

[4 April 1999]

This movie is awesome! The acting is good and believable and it enforces good values. Molly Singer refuses to talk after her mother's death. Her father hires a nanny/maid- Corrina Washington- who bonds with Molly, and Molly eventually starts talking again. There are many things that happen along the way. Good things, bad things. But it turns out all right. I highly recommend it.

Krippendorf's Tribe (1998)

Can you say "the reviews that said it was bad were all wrong"?

[28 March 1999]

I don't understand HOW people could say this movie was bad. I myself am not a fan of stupid comedies but this was actually good! Never mind the reason I rented it was to see a person in it who had one line. The plot was really original, and the acting was okay. It was actually a funny and enjoyable movie. Out of five stars, I'll give it three and one fourth. Sure, it's not the greatest movie, but it deserves a chance! Professor James Krippendorf is supposed to find a lost tribe in New Guinea using the grant money he receives, but instead spends the money on food, clothing, and shelter for his family. So then he has to present a speech about it and the only two words he writes are "good evening," so he has to make up the whole speech as he goes along. The end didn't make a whole lotta sense, but I got the general point of it. This is a comical movie that you will get a few laughs out of. Rent it at the video store if you want a good, (fairly) clean comedy.

The Liars' Club (1994)

This is a really good movie

[25 March 1999]

This movie is really good if you are able to deal with the plot. Close friends Jimbo, David, Pat, Kim, Gigi and Buzz must cover up the murder of their friend Marla. The acting is decent and it is actually a pretty good movie, mostly for teens. It deals with drugs, smoking, rape, and has a ton of bad language. Once you get past the first three or so scenes there is no sexual content.

The Other Sister (1999)

Original, touching, and inspiring

[24 March 1999]

This movie is awesome! The acting is also good. It is funny but also has some dramatic elements. And nobody dies, either, which is good. I'd recommend you go see this movie if you want a little of everything.

Black Widow Murders: The Blanche Taylor Moore Story (1993 TV Movie)

Pretty good movie based on a true story

[23 March 1999]

This movie starring Elizabeth Montgomery as Blanche Taylor Moore, is based on a true story. A basically psycho woman, Blanche, kills all of her- what is it, four?- husbands with Antiants, which is most likely a solution to kill ants. I understand this was based on a true story, but was it REALLY necessary to include the part about her breast cancer? There were some things in here that were really just not necessary to include. It was pretty good, though, and a good performance by Liz Montgomery with her great southern drawl! See this one if you are a die-hard fan of someone who's in it, otherwise it's not really worth it to watch, but it's not really terrible either.

Annie (1982)

Good, but compared to Broadway...

[23 March 1999]

If you thought this movie was good, you ain't seen nothin' yet! I saw Annie on Broadway in 1997 (I never saw the one with Andrea McArdle, as I was not alive yet...), and fell in love with it. The songs, the acting, everything was great. Then I rented this movie. I'll admit, it was pretty good, but I made the mistake of watching it AFTER I saw it on Broadway. The acting is kind of corny and you can tell that Molly's singing voice is not real (and if it is, that's one talented actress!). But it is fun for little kids and it may amuse your family. I'll give it two and a half stars, just to be nice. The target age range is for younger kids, I think. Carol Burnett makes a great Miss Hannigan and some parts are very comical.

Young Frankenstein (1974)

Better than the original

[23 March 1999]

The original "Frankenstein" was not as good as the latter "Young Frankenstein." The original was boring and at some parts draggy. This movie is hilarious and fast-paced, funny without being obnoxious. Another great Gene Wilder movie (besides "Willy Wonka" and those I have yet to see). This movie is a parody but more like a continuing saga of the original movie. Dr. Frankenstein's son (Gene Wilder) is left to make his own monster to raise. At first he is shamed by his father's ego and pronounces his last name differently (prompting Igor to pronounce his name "eye-gore"). Then he bonds with the monster and, well, it's just a great movie. And the thing is, it has an actual plot, unlike some parodies. If you like the original "Frankenstein," or even if you don't, you will most definitely get a kick out of this movie if you have even a touch of a sense of humor. Five stars.

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)

A movie ya just gotta love!

[23 March 1999]

"Violet, you're turning violet, Violet!" I love this movie! What can you not love about it? And it's pure love, just pure love. I did not see this movie because of an actor or actress in it, but just because I felt like it. I am thirteen years old and I still love this movie. It is a movie that the whole family can easily enjoy. Gene Wilder is awesome, so is the boy who plays Charlie (sorry, don't know the name). What's neat about this movie is that there really are no special effects. Well, okay, there are some, but not many. In the scene where the people are eating all the flowers and stuff made of candy, it makes you so hungry. And when they lick the walls too. Funny! This movie teaches you that you don't have to be rich to find a fortune. If you haven't already seen this one, run to your local video store and rent this classic movie. I give it five stars, most definitely. I haven't watched it for, like, two years and I can vividly remember the details. Next time I go to the video store, I think I'll pick this one up.

Witness (1985)

Harrison Ford acts as Indiana Jones-like hero

[21 March 1999]

This movie is really good, and VERY corny. That last comment was referring to the scene where John Book (Harrison Ford) dumps a whole silo of corn on the bad guy. I just saw the last part of this movie last night, but the first time I saw it was long ago, so I don't remember it very well. Rent it, watch it, and be happy.

That '70s Show (1998–2006)

Groovy!

[16 March 1999]

No offense, Fox, but your promotions for this show really turned me off. Then I found out that Mila Kunis was in this show and of course we have to watch anything with Mila Kunis in it. Actually, that's not entirely true, but I'll continue by saying I LOVE THIS SHOW! This show is my life and I can't wait until it returns for its second season. It's about Eric Forman (Topher Grace) and all his teenager friends ranging in age from roughly 15 to seniors and juniors in high school. It is rumored that one of the characters, Steven Hyde (Danny Masterson) is not really a teenager at all but has just been held back in school. (We know he has to be under 21 because in the episode "Career Day" his mom wants to buy him a beer and asks, "Do you have your fake identity?") I think this show somewhat accurately portrays teenage lives from the '70s but who cares if it's accurate 'cause it's such a darn good show!! I did notice an inaccuracy, though; the show starts in '76 and I hear one of the characters was wearing toe socks for it but toe socks weren't invented until '77! Aw, who really needs to know this? I'm just a thirteen-year-old girl who loves That '70s Show. I recommend you watch it if you're bored some Sunday at 8:30 PM ET. Just turn it to Fox and you'll get some laughs. Of course, the show is on hiatus right now and will return in June. The season finale just aired, people. It was kind of sad. Donna sort of "unofficially broke up" with Eric. :-( Not that I care about that, it's just that that part was kind of sad. Well, anyway, this message is really long so I just wanna say, PLEEEEAAAASSSEEE WATCH THAT '70S SHOW SO WE CAN ASSURE THE FACT THAT IT WILL HAVE A LONG, HAPPY, RUN, OK? OK. Thanks for listening.

Flashdance (1983)

Two Thumbs Up...Way Up!

[16 March 1999]

This movie was excellent. My dad is obsessed with the end part. Did you know a man was actually doing that twirly move? Jennifer Beals didn't dance at all, actually. They used about four stunt doubles. The acting in this movie is good, the dancing is good, the moral is good, the script seems well-written. To sum it up, see it!

The Omen (1976)

Scream Time

[16 March 1999]

I saw this movie a couple years ago, I think, so I don't remember it entirely, but some things stay clearly in my mind. This is a good movie, but it is mighty scary. Damien (that name is even scary!) gets adopted by these people because his mother has died or something. The couple is really eager to adopt him because the baby boy they just had has died. He turns out to be the devil. This movie is totally freaky. It doesn't exactly have a surprise ending, but it is a good ending. As I said, I don't really remember the details, but if you like to be really scared, rent this one.

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

Somebody be trippin'

[16 March 1999]

No offense, this movie is good, and I'd recommend it. But what the he** is supposed to be happening in the scene where Dave is landing on Jupiter? We get, like, ten straight minutes of shooting colors. It looks like the man's tripping, for God's sake, man! Geez, ya find yourself wondering if the planet's crust contains high dosages of crack, marijuana, and possibly some laughing gas here and there...