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jackelgrey
Reviews
Bullets Over Breakfast (2004)
An homage to excessive violence
Who'd have thunk such recklessly entertaining stuff could be produced so cheaply?! Quantum Petshop offers yet another example of how effectively small-time Indies can play with the big boys by poking fun at all the pointless action flicks you've ever seen. I was very fortunate to actually purchase a CD of this film, and screened it to some of my friends, they were amazed how professional it looked without consuming a huge budget. Why doesn't someone have the vision to see what these guys could do with a 10-20 million budget instead of giving it to idiot hacks like Uwe Boll to pinch out such painful turds as "Alone in the Dark" or "House of the Dead". Love that cat!
The Lord of the Rings (1978)
Ugh. Not much good to say about this...
The only passably decent element of this confusing, ugly, disjointed mess was Gollum. Both the vocal performance and the animation was pretty good. I think they spent all the money on making sure he was right and just hired a bunch of blind 4-year-olds to do the rest. I could go into detail but suffice it to say there just isn't much here for fans to appreciate. It is reasonably consistent with the books, but if you haven't read them, wait for Peter Jackson's live-action film.
Wo hu cang long (2000)
What was the big deal?
Even the actors seemed bored with their lines. Good fight choreography, some interesting camerawork, but no way is this average and at times tedious film deserving of all the sensationalist hype, much less the #19 ranking...
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)
Lives up to the hype..
Don't let your lack of interest in any of the variety of related computer/console games deter your willingness to see this. I know nothing about the games, but was intensely interested in seeing the incredible visuals and effects. I was not disappointed. Nor was I treated to merely a feast of fluffy eye-candy. The story, the characters were as compelling and interesting as anything I've seen in near memory. Ten times more impactful then the rest of the summer trash being heaped at us by Hollywood this year. I had some issue with the attention and importance placed on a pseudo -religious belief they were trying to reinforce, it wasn't necessary and dragged down what would otherwise be a perfect movie-going experience.
Experience the wonder and awe of Final Fantasy...
The Gift (2000)
Ugh, lower your expectations...Raimi/Thorton layed an egg
***Some spoiler info*** This is a prime example of how a decent cast of popular "known" actors, screenwriter, and directors involved, you can get just about anything shot. Where do I start? First off, there are some who will forever hate "Fargo" because of the way it depicts Midwesterners. I am not one of these people, but if I were from the South, I would be offended. The entire town seems to be filled with incompetent inbreds, violent half-wits, and outright idiots! The law enforcement is filled with caricatures of the deep south; dumb and ornery. The characters stumble around for a good 3rd of the movie before anything resembling a story presents itself. There are so many gaping holes in the script, I don't have the room to begin (the entire courtroom scene is horribly thought out. No defence attorney in his right mind would make wise cracks about the murder victim, much less, what jury would LAUGH at such wisecracks??!!) the acting is average at best, and the direction is plodding and confusing. Greg Kinear can't decide if he's supposed to have a southern accent, Keanu Reeves should just stick with Matrix sequels for the rest of his life, he pulls off one of the least intimidating tough guys I've ever seen. Hilary Swank is a talented actress, what did she see in this role? All the characters were underwritten, stereotypical dolts who deserved the misery they were in. I couldn't root for any of them. What's the deal with the crazy fiddler guy by the swamp?! I had to restrain laughter. Any "eerieness" that was attempted during the main character's "vison" sequences was wasted by the greater stupidity of the whole story. The main character was just too dumb to be concerned about. What's with the "wacko that saves the day"??!! My god, once the true killer's identity was revealed, was anyone surprised by this?! Even the "creepy" violin interlude music between scenes got repetitive and grating on my nerves..Yuck. This was a stinker. Avoid at all costs..