Brad-61 Reviews

Stand-ins (1997)

Dreadful

[2/10 · 30 September 2003]

This is a dreadful, amateurish production, that wastes the talents of some good actresses, but they seem to have received no direction. Another viewer pointed out the inaccuracies, but there's a big one--in 1937, Rita Hayworth was not a star. She had made a few movies under the name Rita Cansino, but was not on the equal plain then with Davis, Garbo, Dietrich, etc. She hit it big in the early forties, especially with Gilda. When I first saw her character in the movie, I thought she was dressed like Katharine Hepburn, which would have been a better choice.

The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

Soulless

[7/10 · 19 May 2003]

The plot of this film, where the machines take over the world and seek to destroy humanity, can sort of be applied to the state of filmmaking. Special effects are crowding out human emotion. Now that "bullet time" can be seen in even straight-to-video films, do we really need to see it over and over again? And do people really get off on hand-to-hand fighting? This film, despite it's excellent editing and special effects, is ponderous and pretentious, with leaden acting (the dialogue is spoken as if it's italicized). We're led to believe that Neo makes his choices based on love, but that's only implied, not shown, as little emotion flickers across the face of any of the characters. Will the success of these types of films mean the end of movies that are actually about character and emotion?

The Rules of Attraction (2002)

Ugly and unpleasant

[3/10 · 21 April 2003]

This film appears to have been written and directed by someone who does not how to tell a story, but does no how to make film go backwards, which he does often. The characters are on the whole, repellent people, and their motivations are not clear. James Van Derbeek is far too old to be playing a college student, as any Dawson's Creek watcher can tell you, and I guess he's supposed to be the hero of this thing, but he's not very likeable. He's in love with the other main character, played by Shannon Sossamyn, but the film does not show us why. The only sympathetic character is a girl who commits suicide, but we only see her when she kills herself, and isn't even identified by name. This isn't even a good trashy movie, there isn't enough nudity.

The Newcomers (2000)

Competent if lackluster

[5/10 · 18 April 2003]

***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS*** I rented this DVD because I wanted to see more of Kate Bosworth, the stunningly beautiful star of Blue Crush, and didn't expect much. The Newcomers, though, was okay, kind of like an episode of Seventh Heaven, or the old Davey and Goliath show. A family leaves Boston because the son, Sam, turns in a football player for damaging school property and is harassed by him. If only this were the only problem facing the inner city today! The father is some kind of construction worker and he figures they should pack up and move to the country, but he ends up buying a huge house in Vermont, so they must have had some money. This sad sack family ends up moving across the street from a bitter guy whose dead wife liked the house, and resents strangers because he thinks there after his job. The neighborhood kids terrorize Sam, and Kate Bosworth, who does little in this film except scowl and look good in tights, hates living in the hick town. She does a 180 though when she takes a shine to the gas-pump jockey. Finally Sam and his dog save the mean guy's son from drowning we all learn a lesson in tolerance. The filmmakers seem to look back in fondness to a Norma Rockwell America that doesn't exist anymore. Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh would love it. The kid who plays Sam is pretty believable, and again, there's Kate Bosworth.

American Outlaws (2001)

A whitewashing of history

[1/10 · 23 December 2002]

This movie made me angry. Not just because it is a routine Western, filled with cliches, but because it is hard to imagine that in 2001, the writers of this embarrassment wouldn't give any regard to history. I realize it's just a movie, and there's a long tradition of glamorizing the murderers and psychopaths of the American west, but there has been enough research lately about Jesse James that makes this film's treatment of him as Robin Hood an outrage. Let's be clear: Jesse James was in essence a terrorist. He rode with Bloody Bill Anderson and William Quantrill, who were Confederate raiders who performed unspeakable atrocities in the name of slavery. James was no Robin Hood. He was in it for the money. The gang is represented in this movie as good-hearted guys just doin' what's right and carin' bout their mamas. Horse-hockey! Read the new biography by T.J. Stiles to get the true story. A realistic movie about James would be fascinating, but is beyond the talent of the crew involved in this boil on the butt of cinema. And besides, didn't Young Guns make this unnecessary?

Secretary (2002)

Excellent and respectful

[9/10 · 29 October 2002]

This is perhaps the only movie I've seen that treats the S/M community non-judgementally. The fact that *SPOILER AHEAD* that James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal are allowed to find each other and live happily ever after was so refreshing that I left the theater on cloud 9. Maggie Gyllenhaal also gives an astounding performance, and though she probably won't get one, deserves an Oscar nomination.

The Sweetest Thing (2002)

What were they thinking?

[1/10 · 29 October 2002]

I just saw the DVD of this embarrassment, and I have a question for the talented actresses, Cameron Diaz, Christina Applegate, and Selma Blair: What were you thinking? Is it possible you read this script and said to yourself, this is good? What were you smoking? A supposed comedy, this film did not make me crack a smile, instead inducing winces at the step back each of these ladies' careers just made. The DVD extras give an insight into the genesis of this fiasco: writer Nancy Pimental. There's a little featurette on her and her friends, who were the basis of this film. They are the most annoying women I've ever seen, who think they're funny but are instead grating. Pimental says she wanted people to see what women really are like. Really? You want to broadcast to the world that women are just as vulgar, obnoxious and shallow as men can be? I'm not a woman, but I know some, and they do not act in such a childish manner. The DVD also comes with a cast and director's commentary, which I listened to briefly. Par for the course, it begins with someone making a fart noise, a perfect summation for this mess.

Shadow of the Vampire (2000)

Great idea, incompetently realized

[4/10 · 27 January 2001]

I wanted to like this movie, desperately. When I first saw the trailer,

months ago, I have been looking forward to it. But today I was

sadly disappointed. A great concept, the behind-the-scenes look at

the making of the silent classic Nosferatu, and the fantasy wherein

Max Schreck was an actual vampire, was manna for movie buffs.

But director E. Elias Merhige seems to have nothing to say about

this, other than that Murnau was a control freak (a film director, a

control freak? Shocking!) and that Schreck was an odd guy. Of

course it's not true that he was a vampire, Schreck was a member

of Max Reinhardt's company, and made other movies, and if the

producer, star and photographer of a film had been killed during

filming, I think we'd have all heard about it. This film is not scary, it has no story to speak of, and the

performances are uneven. Willem Dafoe does yeoman work under

all the make up as Schreck, but John Malkovich fades in and out of

his accent and doesn't seem to have a center as Murnau, other

than that he was a drug addict. If you want to see a better movie about messianic directors, rent

The Stunt Man, and if you want to experience the magic of the

silent era, find yourself copies of Murnau's films, Nosferatu

foremost.

American Pie (1999)

A Porky's for the Internet generation

[5/10 · 11 July 1999]

I was quite disappointed with this film, as it does not live up to its hype. It's basically the film version of a Penthouse Forum letter, with gorgeous high school girls being wooed by patheticly inept boys. American Pie is saved from being a total disaster by a tone of sweetness, which is mainly supplied by the female characters, who are far more realistic than the males. Really, do after prom parties turn into a night at the Playboy mansion, with everyone pairing off into different rooms for idyllic sexual bliss? This film should have aimed a little higher, and instead of trying to out-gross the Farrelly Brothers should have concentrated on further developing the plot.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)

Wickedly funny send-up of modern mores

[8/10 · 3 July 1999]

First of all, it is not about the boys being sent to military school. It is, instead, a very funny examination of the effect of pop culture on children, or more accurately, the hysteria of parents when they deem some sort of entertainment as corrupting their precious offspring. The language in this movie is scathingly obscene, and scathingly funny. Youll be amazed at the audaciousness of the creators, who are to be commended for making this an R-rated movie, thus costing themselves millions by keeping out their largest fan base, ten to fifteen year olds.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)

Occasionally funny, but more often slapdash

[4/10 · 13 June 1999]

I almost didn't want to see this film, because it was so aggressively hyped (the product tie-ins with Heineken and Virgin Atlantic, among others, was especially obnoxious) but I went because of Heather Graham, and she does look good. But this script has few laugh-out loud lines. Mostly it's a collection of very old gags and gross-out stuff (that doesn't have the Farrelly Brothers wit). Myers has an energy that almost carries it, but there are so many times that the movie stops dead in its tracks. A tighter editing job and fresher gags would have made it better.

Notting Hill (1999)

Lots and lots of charm, if nothing else

[7/10 · 29 May 1999]

This is a fairy-tale, with a twist, as it is a romantic comedy that will stimulate the cortex of men everywhere who fantasize about being the normal guy who wins the princess. It's about as realistic as Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, but Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant ooze so much charm that it was tough to resist. Just sit back, smile and go with it, and ignore it's predictable, creaky construction. At least Hugh Grant doesn't stammer

The Mummy (1999)

Good matinee flick with excellent fx and nice thrills

[7/10 · 8 May 1999]

This latest incarnation of the old mummy story may surprise you, since it doesn't have some old guy swaddled in bandages, creeping along at a snail's pace. This is a Mummy for the nineties, who can turn into a sandstorm and sucks the organs right out of his victims. All in all, this is a fun, entertaining movie. Brendan Fraser brings the right amount of charm and comedy to his role. Although not as good as the Indiana Jones pictures, it has their spirit>