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Reviews
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
The tagline should be Worse than the first
I never thought I'd see a film worse than Ishtar, but this is it. Before the midpoint, I rated it a 3 out of 10, but it continued to become more worthless as it went along. Really, really bad movie.
Longmire (2012)
Gets worse as it goes along
I can live with the inconsistent accents, as a rule. I grew up with a few people who had that weird western accent that some of these characters have. and people with southern accents live everywhere. I can live with the murder of the week far exceeding the murder rate of all of Wyoming in a year. Filming it in New Mexico is good enough for me. But in the episode where Walt isn't carrying *ANY* water, but lets another person carry it and sticks his hand under a rock and gets bitten by a rattlesnake--that's where I lost all admiration for the series. The smallest kid on a hike in the west has his own water bottle. An adult with kids would carry most of the water, but each person carries water in case you get separated. Water is life. And because water is heavy, you would never have an old woman carry all the water. That's completely unchivalrous and illogical. In 64 years of living in the west, I've seen one rattlesnake. They aren't under every rock. But no westerner would *ever* stick a hand under a rock. That's what sticks are for. And two rattlesnakes in one episode? Not likely. Then with a rattlesnake bite, he walks for many more miles and drives to civilization, then with no explanation of why Walt doesn't end up hospitalized, we see him with just a bandage. And why isn't Henry in agony from the sunburn? Only his face is sunburned. That's when I gave up. Some day I would like to see a decent western that gets things right instead of this weird fantasy.
Manifest (2018)
Skip every other episode
I watch this series once in awhile. If you skip every other episode, it is slightly less boring. The recap tells you what you missed, and you will be less angry with yourself for taking the time to watch it. In other words, a little bit happens in this series, but not much. It's difficult to care about any of the characters aside from the kids.
Manhattan (2014)
An absolute piece of garbage
There is one good thing about Manhattan--the acting of John Benjamin Hickey. They aren't even trying to be historically accurate. Once I realized that, I tried to watch it as though it were a fairy tale, but I still found myself getting angry in almost every episode. No folks, in the 1940s, they didn't have pink plastic curlers; they didn't know about the theory that an asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs; no one connected with the project went home and told family members about it--no one. Oppenheimer wasn't like that. Los Alamos is in pine trees, not pinyon-juniper forest, so where did that huge scorpion come from? The writers didn't care; no one applied any sort of quality control on the facts; and the real story is so much more interesting than this nonsense. I made it through 5 episodes, because I really like Ashley Zukerman's acting in other things, but I give up. Life is too short to be angry. If you want to see a better fictionalized version of the events, try Oppenheimer (1980), with Sam Waterston.
Must Love Dogs (2005)
A dog of a movie--boring and stupid
I went to see this movie because John Cusack is in it, it has the word "dogs" in the title, and it involves online dating, which I'm interested in because my daughter met her boyfriend that way. Unfortunately, this movie was not worth even the matinée ticket price. We all know the plot before we see the film--boy meets girl, complications ensue, boy and girl get together in the end. But this can be done in a clever way, with an actual plot (e.g., "Only You", "You've Got Mail", "Sleepless in Seattle") or it can be boring, improbable, and stupid like this film.
We know what Diane Lane's character does--she works in a preschool. But what does John Cusack's character do? He builds boats which no one buys. I'm not sure how he supports himself. To give you an idea of the quality of the film, the most interesting thing these two characters do is go on a failed condom hunt. The least interesting thing they do is get together in the end. On the director's commentary for "Love Actually" they talk about the standing joke that Colin Firth's characters always have to end up getting wet since women loved the way he looked in "Pride and Prejudice." Diane Lane does not look good wet, and why didn't she just wait on the dock? A stupid, bland, boring, improbable film. Don't waste your time.
Fantastic Four (2005)
The most comic book-like of comic book adaptations.
I read a couple of reviews of this film which compared it unfavorably to other superhero comic book adaptations, such as that of Spiderman or Superman. But to me, this movie was the most like the experience of reading an actual comic book. That was what I enjoyed about it. I actually went to see it only because Ioan Gruffudd is in it (and annoyingly, he has been the least interviewed of all the cast members). I took my 10 and 12 year old sons. We liked it a lot better than the professional reviewers did. Plausibility is not a requirement when you're talking about superhero powers. We buy the abilities of Superman because we've grown up with them, but really--kryptonite? Why would kryptonite weaken someone who was born on a planet made of kryptonite? I want some plausibility in my comics, but I don't require absolute fidelity to the laws of science. I'm looking forward to sequels, because they can have more plot and less exposition, but as someone who hasn't read this particular set of comic books, the amount of exposition was fine.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
I wanted to like it, but I hated it.
I wanted to see this film because of my fondness for the BBC series and the book. I was excited that they cast Martin Freeman as Arthur Dent; in the trailers, the graphics looked great; and I looked forward to introducing my sons to the books via this film. Unfortunately, the film is as bad as its worst review. The concept of the Hitchhiker's Guide was barely used. It was depressing that the ancient t.v. production could so far outdo the film in spite of the film's quality graphics and good cast. The worst acting was Zooey Deschanel's. The story didn't hang together well at all. We were warned about the horrible movie to come by the horrific theme song, which took all the punch out of a funny line. Bill Nighy's performance was fun, though. Overall, very, very disappointing.
I, Robot (2004)
Loved it--Cool!
This is a well-plotted, well-paced, fun movie which should win an Academy Award for Art Design. I'm a 49-year old female and an Asimov fan (although I haven't read the robot novels for at least 30 years), but enough of one to actually know the three laws of robotics. Not that this film has a lot to do with Asimov.
My 10 and 11 year old sons and I had a great time watching this movie. We'll definitely buy the DVD as soon as it comes out because this is a movie we'll want to watch again and again.
One interesting tidbit is that there are three prominent product placements in the first couple of minutes--one for Converse, one for JVC, and one for Fed Ex.
Holes (2003)
We liked it
I picked up the book Holes a couple of years ago before it started winning awards because I was intrigued by the blurb on the back cover. I fell in love with the book. When I heard the movie was coming out, my eight-year-old and I read it together in one day because I told him he should read the book before he saw the movie. So I re-read the book just a couple of weeks ago.
The casting was great. At first I thought Shia would be a bad choice because he just didn't fit my image of Stanley Yelnats. But he was great. The kid who plays Zero was wonderful. Jon Voight did an amazing job of capturing the essence of Mr. Sir. I'm going to have my kids watch "Coming Home" so they can see how cute he used to be. Sigourney Weaver was good. Dule Hill was an inspired casting choice. Lots of the visual scenes were wonderful, like the mountain they climb and the opening scenes of the dry lake bed filled with holes. I loved the lizards.
I took three boys ages 8-10 (I'm 48 years old)and they loved it. Our only quibbles were with little things, mostly in the ending. But otherwise, it was great. There are a couple of scenes which would be scary for younger kids, but they were fine for 8 and above.
Disney didn't ruin this one.
Brighty of the Grand Canyon (1966)
The most boring movie I ever saw.
I saw this movie the year it came out, and although it might be because I was a teenager, I remember it as the single most boring film I ever saw. I guess that's what prompted me to look it up in the IMDB just to see what others had posted. Apparently no one even remembers having seen it.
Minority Report (2002)
Not as good as I expected
Perhaps it's because I'm a Philip K. Dick fan and therefore somehow expected more, but I was disappointed by this film in a way that I wasn't disappointed in say, Total Recall. The plot seemed too straight-forward, with few surprises. It was well made, and not as darkly boring as most Spielberg films, and it was nice seeing Colin Ferrell and Samantha Morton doing well in a Hollywood vehicle--oh, and the weapons were cool--and the escape where Tom Cruise jumped from vehicle to vehicle as they raced down the side of a building was no more improbable than the helicopter stunt in Mission Impossible. But somehow it had no heart.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Wow
I didn't read the books because I dislike fantasy. Yesterday I took my family (our ages are 46, 20, 9, and 7) and we all loved the movie. The art direction was particularly amazing. Any movie which can hold the interests of two little boys for almost three hours has a lot going for it.
Purgatory (1999)
A good western with unpredictable plot twists
Good acting, directing. An amazing plot which allows us to see some of the world's most famous western gunfighters in one place. I loved it.