pageiv Reviews

Towelhead (2007)

Should've been called "Sick-O"

[1/10 · 9 January 2009]

If we ever NEED a reality show it is one of Hollywood executives. How do they sign off on a $100 million project before that first Scotch in the morning? What is the debate before greenlighing a movie about a 13-year-old submitting to the sexual whims of the married Army Reservist next door? Surely a free people can make any movie they choose. And surely Hollywood is only interested in money when they make a movie like this that offends anyone that thinks sex between children and men is wrong, or thinks stereotypical looks of Arab men don't have a place in society. Not only does the girl's father beat her, tell her which feminine products to use, wait, I'm not sure what else he could do, maybe blow himself up at the bus stop to prove he's a bad guy.

The married Army Reservist neighbor, who drives a pick-up, lives in Texas, and I'm sure voted for the evil John McCain, just explores his sexuality with the neighbor girl. You know, the type of thing that happens all the time. And you know the girl really isn't upset about it until her dad believes the bad black boy took her virginity. The sexual flirting between the neighbor and the girl up to that point, is a true love story, right out of "To Catch a Predator." But no one seems to see it as wrong. Oh the bad soldier does end up in jail, for a spell, but the feeling is the girl felt guilty for putting him there and her father was the true bad guy for turning him in.

Maybe this is "straight out of the book." But does it have to be made? Do we really need more movies where sex between adults and children is explored? Do we really need more movies that paint soldiers are redneck inbreeding hicks? A million books are out there that don't celebrate these things, but Hollywood spends money (and I guess makes some too) on this.

My guess the reason this is so highly rated here on IMDb is because those that have an aversion to seeing movies like this haven't seen it and the stars of "To Catch a Predator" and those that see it as "bold" to have men and children sleeping with each other on film have.

Nova: Sinking the Supership (2005) Season 32, Episode 12

Considering Axelrod had something to do with this you get what you expect.

[6/10 · 21 December 2008]

David Axelrod, Barack Obama's head spinmaster/political aide/and possible puppeteer, apparently had a major hand with this documentary. As such you can expect it to contain less than a full picture of the actual ship.

The history of the greatest battleship built is woefully incomplete, what's included is accurate, however, minor things like being a sister ship of the Musashi, or the Yamato's coastal bombardment of US positions in the Pacific in 1942, or her entering surface combat during the Battle of Leyte Gulf weren't even mentioned. Sort of like having a documentary of the USS Arizona and not mentioning Pearl Harbor.

In short this show has some great interviews with survivors, fascinating video of the wreckage, and insight from Nipponese Historians, but like the Obama Campaign, it's all buzz words and no meat, maybe I didn't have enough Hope to accept this Change on the history of the great IJN Yamato.

The Simpsons: The Cartridge Family (1997) Season 9, Episode 5

"See you in Hell, dinner plate."

[10/10 · 3 December 2008]

This is perhaps one of the best Simpson episodes. I might be a bit biased being an NRA member and all.

After a soccer riot, "he holds it, he holds it." "HE HOLDS IT, HE HOLDS IT..." Homer buys a gun to protect his family. After a short wait, showing the silliness of the Brady Bill waiting period, he finally can lock and load and hits the range. There he meets some NRA members and is invited to the "secret" organization.

After Homer hosts a meeting he gets booted from the NRA because of his recklessness with his gun. Marge ends up leaving him because he'd rather have the gun than her. (Smart choice.) He finds his family at a local flop house and ends up saving them from a mugging with his horrible gun.

This episode was mentioned in National Review in an article from Jonah Goldberg. He explained this, amongst others, pokes fun at liberalism. Not that this show doesn't poke fun conservatives, it does, but as Goldberg mentions, it is one of the few that does the same with Liberals.

The evenhandedness of showing the NRA is about the only time on network TV other than "The King of the Hill" you'll see.

Other than the political stuff, this episode contains scores of memorable quotes, it really stands out as a classic.

The Simpsons: Simpson Tide (1998) Season 9, Episode 19

"I'm a man of few words, any questions?"

[10/10 · 3 December 2008]

This episode is quite easy to explain, the cast of Springfield happen to get called up in the Naval Reserves and viola, they are in "Hunt for Red October." Trust me it's funnier than it sounds.

This episode is brilliant, as a military man, and fan of HfRO it ranks close to the top of my list of all time favorite episodes. The number of memorable quotes is too high to count, some of the best parts fall after the US government believes Homer has shanghaied the USS Springfield and is bound to turn it over to the Ruskies. "I told dad that picture would come back to haunt him."

This season contained many great and "classic" episodes. It makes one wonder why the following few years fall so short when comparing the them.

The Simpsons: Behind the Laughter (2000) Season 11, Episode 22

"Interracial Homoerotocism"

[10/10 · 1 December 2008]

This episode is a take from "Behind the Music" off VH1. The perfectness of this episode is the dead seriousness behind every scene. I almost want to believe the Simpson family is a real family, aren't they? You'll see the dark side of fame for the Simpson family. It ain't pretty, but with Jimmy Carter's comedy break dancing you cant go wrong. With looking at these scenes and secrets, you'll get a full take on how the Simpson's fame affected both themselves and the residents of Springfield.

I'd ask the show's producers looking into more takes offs of "real shows" this episode didn't feel "forced" or "old". But it is nearly 8 years old as of now. Anyways, how about an "Extreme Makeover: Homer Edition"?

The Unit: Into Hell: Part Two (2008) Season 4, Episode 8

Gave up on the series after this episode.

[1/10 · 18 November 2008]

I loved this show from its start. But starting with Season 4 the show went off the deep end, with undercover wives, female agents, and honor code killings. This episode capped everything off for me.

The first couple Seasons were solid and realistic then came the "7 families run the government" story line last season, and I stuck it out until this episode, but when they brought on the creepy short lady who's in all those horror movies I had to tap out. Of course the daughter is rescued, you think they would've killed her? At least I'll still have the first couple season's of quality entertainment. Maybe if it survives this season they'll retool the show, here's hoping.

The Unit (2006–2009)

Gave up after S4E8

[9/10 · 18 November 2008]

I've been in the military my entire adult life and always felt the country was missing out in not having a good military show on TV. What was M*A*S*H* the last one that remained longer than a trial run? OK, Tour of Duty and China Beach were around a few seasons but back to my point. It has been awhile either way.

I loved The Unit when it first started, loved Haysbert from 24, loved Patrick from T2 and X-Files. The series thrived on "real world" missions that had a flair for authenticity that is lacking in other shows.

Then it slowly went downhill. Starting with Season 2, maybe 3 but I think 2, the series opened to some gigantic conspiracy straight from the writers at dailyKOS website. Seven families control power of the government since the founding of the nation, didn't you know that? And these families set up the Unit, like most movies the government apparently thinks its a good move to "set up" it's military to "take the fall" for some error in foreign policy.

After that silly reverie, it got back to business AKA taking the fight to the enemy, and I'll hand it to them, the enemy wasn't the US but bad guys.

Then came this season, I'm thinking CBS demanded the show's producers take a more Army Wives approach because half the show this season is not only about the wives, who first few seasons did things Army wives do, but now the wives are acting as de facto members of the team in a not really explained undercover town where enemy agents just so happen to be set up there as well.

Also in Season 4 a female "agent" is introduced, once again I'm thinking CBS is trying to reach more of the female viewer with this addition. The result is the show became a complete farce set in Hollywood than anything set in real life.

Let me end that Season 4 introduced the "code" where if an officer sleeps with the wife of one of his men, his men get to kill the before mentioned officer. Trust me, they could've mentioned that at OCS when I went through.

Watch the first couple seasons on DVD or online, they are worth it and are great episodes to a great show. The truncated Season 3 was a mix of good and bad, Season 4 had two outstanding episodes and the rest were a mix of Hollywood hogwash and rejected Army Wives scripts.

In Season 4, The Unit went "Full Retard." I would like to thank CBS for giving me an hour a week back to me.

The Simpsons: That '90s Show (2008) Season 19, Episode 11

You know it's a cartoon, right?

[6/10 · 9 April 2008]

I wonder if those that detest this episode were meant to take it seriously. I really didn't take it seriously, we know Bart is 10 in 1989 and is 10 in 2008. The entire city of Springfield has been stuck in a rift in the Matrix, where the space-time continuum is stuck in a loop.

This episode is merely a throwback to the 90s, I can't see how anyone that has watched more than a dozen episodes would assume this is part of the history of Simpsons. Every season has an episode or two that have no relevance on the history, ie, Simpson Bible Stories, and Tales from the Public Domain.

Relax people, the episode was far from great, though it had moments, but it hardly caused the series to "jump the shark."

Whiteboyz (1999)

Cracka plaaaalease

[5/10 · 28 March 2008]

There is a great underground culture dealing with white people acting black, or wishing they were black. Though I don't believe too much in human creations such as race, but there are those that strive to be something other than they should be. I, for some reason, felt some pity, for the kids in this movie. They only want to be accepted, and look towards the rap culture for acceptance.

For a white boy from the suburbs, I can say I've known guys that act like the leads in this movie. The sad thing is they don't know how ridiculous they are acting until it is too late.

The movie is almost a comedy, but sadly, those that are being laughed at don't know it.

Conspiracy (2008)

Well, at least people were cut up

[7/10 · 22 March 2008]

I never heard of this movie, and I am a big movie buff, until I saw a pop-up ad of all things. Needless to say they spared promotion money to pay Kilmer his paycheck.

First the good: There was lots of killing, which some was rather unique and bloody. There was a decent backstory in Iraq that could've been a movie itself. Then there was a folksy Western Town that I'd love to spend some time in.

Then the Bad: Okay, Hollywood is good at taking "ripped from the headlines" and making that into a "Law and Order" or cheesy movie, well here you get the movie. The bad guy is the head of a Halliburton type company, he hates Mexicans and likes paying them less than a "decent" wage. Though I don't know why the Mexicans just don't move on to another company.

Then there is a pitiful diatribe about Halliburton starting a war, to sell the Army guns, then making money to rebuild Iraq, to start a war with Mexico to repeat. If not for this absolutely retarded scene I'd give it 8/10.

Everybody Loves Hypnotoad (2007 Video)

Can it get better than this?

[10/10 · 20 January 2008]

I'm going to keep this spoiler free, because that is what Hypnotoad would want. This episode is on the DVD movie release of Futurama, and I must say it could be sold alone with all the goings on.

This episode starts off with Hypnotoad at home, minding his business. But like I said I'm keeping this spoiler free.

The acting is top notch, and higher than you'd expect in a cartoon. I wonder why no Golden Globe went to Hypnotoad.

I wonder why I felt compelled to buy the whole season after this. Just picture Cheers mixed with Seinfeld and add a bit of Three's Company and you have Hypnotoad!

Hannity & Colmes (1996–2008)

These funny comments

[8/10 · 6 January 2008]

I love debate shows, the original Crossfire remains the best, this one is like crossfire on crack, before they put Crossfire on crack and killed the show.

This isn't a royal PBS debate show, this is political entertainment, which gets to me after a bit. They really don't take the time to get to the issue and only are interested in letting the guest spout off to each other. But, unfortunately that's the way "news" is these days.

I'm very Conservative, but Hannity gets to me. I guess it's his debating style. "What about President Clinton?" he always spouts off regardless of what the issue is. I do agree the debates a better when someone else is hosting the "Colmes" spot.

But I'm perplexed, and extremely amused, by the hate filled comments here. Claiming because a show has a rightward tilt somehow it is an indication of a Neo-Nazi take over of America. You can say Colmes is weak, or Hannity is a blowhard, but wishing Hannity death, or blaming this show for "brainwashing" America is intellectually weak.

BTW: Bring back Crossfire CNN!

Mr. Winkle Goes to War (1944)

With a name like Winkle

[9/10 · 26 December 2007]

I caught this on TMC, had no idea what to expect. I like Robinson, and needless to say, was a great movie. Mr. Winkle was is a poor man whose wife picks on him and works a job he hates. He quits his job to work in his wood/medal shop in his garage. His wife says he needs to get his job back and the next day he's drafted. Being 44 years old he doesn't see himself lasting too long, but he soon finds his niche.

Finding someone's niche is what the Army's all about, even though training has changed in 60 years, the feeling to serve the country hasn't for many men.

Hard to classify this as a comedy, hard to say it's a drama. It's shorter than most movies, but it zips along. I await Hollywood to remake it.

Below (2002)

Why have I not heard of this?

[9/10 · 26 December 2007]

OK, I wrote a long review a couple days ago but forgot to submit it, "D'OH!" I saw this on AMC, and being a big fan of horror, or thriller, or military movies I was surprised I hadn't seen this before. It maintain all elements of those genres, which may explain the low vote here on IMDb. I would say that's why I liked the movie, originality is in short supply these days.

You can read the synopsis of the movie on this site so I wont waste your time. The hits on the SFX are really off base, though not U-571 quality, they are believable (I have family that say Star Wars SFX don't look real). Acting is solid, not award winning so if that's the standard then they fail for you.

The movie is truly unique and entertaining and I only hope cable channels show it often to get it out there for people to enjoy.

Death of a President (2006)

Teenagers with too much free time and money

[3/10 · 27 October 2007]

During my Staff Duty this week I was able to watch Death of a President. This movie is shown in a "documentary" style concerning the events surrounding the assassination of Pres. George W. Bush. So far, the movie has shown in Toronto Film Fest and on BBC. Some reason US companies have shied from distributing it. Which is odd considering most of the anti-American junk they release.

On to the movie: Spoilers galore, but then again you already know where this is going. The movie is shown with actual news flashes mixed in with fake news bulletins and interviews to trace a path from the time Bush lands in Chicago to the shooting to the follow-up investigation. Cutting to the chase, Pres. Cheney blames an Arab man who works in the same building in which the shooter was located. This "average" man who happens to be Arab just happened to train with Al Qeada in 2001, a character playing a Washington Post reporter called this just a misfortunate vacation spot. Which considering the Post I'm willing to assume that this guy was not an actor but an actual Post reporter.

The true shooter, the director of this "documentary" discovers is a black Gulf War vet that lost a son in Iraq and had another develop a drug addition upon returning. Showing the true incompetence of the Fed Govt at times, this shooter leaves the area, drives out in the country and kills himself, but not before leaving his son a suicide note, which the Feds never take serious. Which is odd since high school kids posting threats to the Pres on Myspace get a call from the Secret Service.

The movie was interesting to say the least. It had elements of JFK, Fahrenheit 9/11, Manchurian Candidate, and Forrest Gump all rolled into one. Half my brain felt sorry for the President being shot then the other remembered this is a liberal "hit" piece on all things Bush. Im just surprised the 2000 Florida recount wasn't thrown in there just for kicks. As much as I was ready to turn it off, I felt compelled to continue watching because I remember where I was when Bush was shot, no wait, I was watching it then. Anyways, in a step for movie making they can make anything possible, and any moral restrictions are eliminated. I'd like to see if a movie where President Hillary Clinton is assassinated would be made. In the end, I'd think not. For this movie is the ultimate liberal wet dream and so amazingly over the top in heavy handedness it comes across as High School creative writing assignment.

To the Shores of Tripoli (1942)

Semper Fi!

[10/10 · 6 October 2007]

I never heard of this movie until I saw it on FMC. As a former Marine I thought it stellar, though I'd never consider it a "war flick". Like the synopses says, it's about a cocky recruit and a hard core sergeant that knew his dad in WWI trying to turn him around.

I'm amazed at the poor ratings here, there isn't much action, which may explain the 5.8 vote here, but the all star cast gives a knock down performance.

The best part of this is a remembrance when Hollywood would line up for the military's help in making a movie with it shot at MCRD San Diego.

This movie isn't about rouge officers, or sadistic NCO, it's not about military cover-ups, it's a great American movie about average people serving their country.

Home of the Brave (2006)

"A" for effort

[5/10 · 22 September 2007]

I first saw the trailer for this movie over a year ago, I was intrigued because there's been scant attention paid to military action since 9/11 in Hollywood. I saw a poster for this movie in the theater, but wasn't sure if I was too busy or it never showed up but I missed it there.

Let's just saw I finally watched this movie using "alternative" sources. The film follows four Iraqi vets back in the states and the effects of the war upon them. It's heart was in the right place, but there was too much crammed into a single film. Sam Jackson has a drinking problem after serving as a combat surgeon, Jessica Beil loses a hand to an IED, 50 Cent slowly flips out because of VA issues, and the other guy is on countless meds because of PTSD. Any one of the four would've made an interesting movie in itself, but total there was too much going on with their four lives intermingling through out the movie. Like I said, they tried, but just too much going on.

Being in the Army certain things drove me crazy, like any scene with 50 Cent wearing a beret. What was up with that? Obviously they had military folks that helped out with uniforms and the like, but no one knows how to wear a beret? Just take the damn thing off if you cant get it right will you Hollywood? The combat scenes were adequate, not what I'd call "infantry tactics" but believable for the movie.

Looking down the road and seeing the spate of anti war films coming this one maybe viewed as being one of the most pro-soldier films, just a pity it was done like this.

South Park: Stanley's Cup (2006) Season 10, Episode 14

Hockey fans will love it

[10/10 · 28 August 2007]

I love the social commentary of South Park, but in this episode the show ended with a social commentary about hockey and the Red Wing/Aves rivalry. As a Red Wing fan, I loved the ending and couldn't remember laughing as hard.

It was sad with the Nelson dying, but the funny part was everyone looked Stan, as the coach, for inspiration. "You're his coach, you're a father figure to him," Nelson's dad screams at Stan.

The episode was also unique because it featured only Stan, with Kyle having a one scene appearance.

A complete classic. GO WINGS!!! (I'm sure they could score more than 30 goals on a team of 5-yr olds.)

Superbad (2007)

You got to be kidding me.

[8/10 · 26 August 2007]

I loved the trailer for this movie, it gave me hope for an American Pie movie, high school kids afraid of growing up looking for their last chance together, and get drunk and laid. Then the reviews (mainly on AICN) came in saying it was one if not the funniest movie of the year.

This film was beyond crude, but not crude in a way someone is just crass because he is an individual, but rude in a way that bordered on being hateful. Yes when I was younger we talked about women like with, but the way Seth was doing it whenever he felt the urge just left me totally uncomfortable. He reminded me of the douchebags that were asses to women and everyone else in school.

On the way home, my wife and I compared this movie to American Pie, both were about HS kids wanting to party, get drunk, and get laid, maybe it's a generational gap, but Superbad was just horrible pulling it off. I'm super stumped how this movie has been called, "sweet" or "good hearted" when it was directed at a 15 yr old boy maturity level. Maybe the internet has corrupted kids since 1999, or maybe I'm older, but the 15-18 yr olds in the theater were howling with laughter at the scenes I shook my head on.

I've never walked out of a movie, but almost on this one. I should've since I only get Sundays off.

I think the young boys growing up don't know squat about satisfying, and woman let guys act like immature little punks.

I also didn't think Knocked Up was extremely funny. I enjoyed it, failed to see it as a comedy. Seth Rogan was a lazy douche that no woman with an ounce of self esteem would be around. But she got "knocked up" by him, OK, but instead of focusing on that, Rogan wasn't portrayed as a juvenile moron, he was the voice of reason.

I guess I'm just too old, but American Pie, and even Can't Hardly Wait, owns this movie.

I've said enough, Flame on.

Hellcats of the Navy (1957)

OK movie

[8/10 · 26 August 2007]

I'm sure the tactics used in this movie bar little on how things really went down, but the movie OK, or a solid "5".

The story was decent and actually kept this thing moving along, action was good for a sub pick, acting was what you would expect from the cast. Only drawback was, like I said, the tactics and equipment used. PT boats as Japanese fast attack ships is one example. Like someone else mentioned, if Capt. Reagan was a commander of a sub in real life, he would've been fired or possible shot for the why he exposed his ship to the enemy. Which oddly enough was how the movie started when he saved his ship instead of one of his crew.

I'm sure if Ron and Nancy weren't in it, it would've long ago been forgotten and rated a couple stars lower. But they are in it, and which makes it worth while to give it a view once, plus Fleet Admial Nimitz has a cameo!

Jarhead (2005)

Hollywood cheers another military loser

[8/10 · 18 November 2005]

When I was in the Marine Corps, I had a roommate named Watters. Everyone called him "Muddy," not so much for any musical talents he possessed, but because that summed him up completely. He would set his alarm for 5 a.m., then hit snooze six times because as he told me, "Five is too early to get up." He would think nothing of driving 40 miles away on a Wednesday night for nickel beer at some out of the way dive. He "acquired" items from fellow Marines, and treated my personal property as nicely has he treated his, which is to say not very well.

For barracks inspection, he would throw his laundry in a rucksack and keep it in the back of his pickup. On one glorious day he came in the room, visibly upset, someone stole his rucksack from the back of his truck. Though I wondered why someone would want his dirty undies, I smiled knowing he was out a $100 ruck.

The image of Watters is what I immediately thought of when I read Andrew Swofford's 2003 book, "Jarhead." Swofford stole from his fellow Marines, shirked duty, took credit for other's work, and thought he was he a typical Marine. In other words, Swofford and Watters would have gotten along just fine.

Many Marines have a love/hate relationship with the Corps; this was defiantly true for me. I felt that at times the Corps was the only family I would ever want or need. Then other times I wanted a personal protection order and divorce.

Swofford's relationship was decidedly hate/hate. His book was a clearinghouse for "sea stories" and urban legends that Marines tell each other while drinking. They would start "I swear, this one time…" then everyone would roll his eyes because he heard the same story many times before. Swofford's stories inevitably ended with him, or some other Marine, looking like a psychopathic deviant. No Marine officer worth his or her pay would tolerate Swofford's insubordination and misconduct. He is the type of Marine, soldier, airman, and or seaman that leadership would move at once to remove before he could "infect" others.

Because of Swofford's view of the Marines, it makes perfect sense Hollywood was scrambling to put his story on the silver screen before the book's publication.

However, in a movie industry controlled by people that proclaim they "support the troops," the book green-lit and fast-tracked is the one that disparages those that serve. Swofford claims "Jarhead" is only his story. Other than the parts he made up, he is right. More than that, it is a story of someone that belonged either in the brig or on the mental ward.

The movie itself is a vast improvement over the original material. The time constraints of the movie forced the producers to scrap most of Swofford's life in the Corps. What results is a seldom seen story of the Persian Gulf War. The biggest enemy faced down by the Marines in Jarhead is boredom.

Director Sam Mendes' previous films, the liberal orgy American Beauty and the stylistic Road to Perdition, had the look of an accomplished director. Jarhead at times takes the viewer closer than any CNN embed ever could, and a few times the dichotomy of keeping with the mission and the drudgery of an infantryman's life are as authentic as any image put on the screen.

If you are hoping an action filled war movie, Jarhead is the opposite. A few rounds of incoming fire and a friendly-fire strafing run by an A-10 are about all you are going to get. To be true to the individual in a war is to show the lack of actual combat. To be true to the honor of those that serve is to see this movie for what it is: seconds of fright surrounded by days (or in this case, months) of waiting. If Jarhead has one downfall it is filming boredom in an entertaining way.

The bureaucracy and the selfishness in the way we fight war are no clearer illustrated than when Swofford, played by Jake Gyllenhaal, finally has an Iraqi in his sights but is told to hold his fire because a major believes he may give away the surprise of pending air strike. After years of training, months of waiting, finally, he has a chance to do his job, but the major that denies him pulls up a lawn chair to watch the fireworks.

Jamie Foxx (SSGT Sykes) leads the film along with a purpose just as his character leads his unit towards its ultimate goal, which is a plane ride home. The make up of the rest of the cast is complete in the color-in-the-blanks way many war movies go about casting. You have the redneck, the mentally challenged guy, the philosopher, and the barracks lawyer.

In the end, the real Tony Swofford was able to parlay his experiences into a book and movie earning him more money than many make over a lifetime. Maybe things work out for people like Swofford in that way. About two weeks after my roommate Watters lost his ruck, he was smoking outside our unit's hangar when a saw a PFC walk by with his ruck over his shoulder. I was disappointed at his serendipity. However, you do not have to call yourself Earl to understand Karma. A few months later when we deployed to Turkey, Watters got drunk and slashed the bike tires of the Air Force personnel in the tent next to him. The command promptly demoted him and barred him from reenlisting.

As thousands of Marines fight and die in the Global War on Terror I know someone in Hollywood could read about Watters and say, "I can see a movie in that story." Meanwhile, the true heroes do their jobs, largely unseen, and largely unappreciated.

http://www.geocities.com/pageiv71/jarhead.html

Elephant (2003)

Am I the only one that hated this?

[2/10 · 17 June 2005]

This is the perfect movie for people that believe art is better than drama. Well, I'm willing to predict that many that loved this also love a jar of urine with a cross in it, because it is art after all.

This movie, the trivia says, had very little in formal script. Yeah, I can tell, unlike the Blair Witch Project, this movie's only monster is the movie itself. I found myself saying,"So what?" and "Who cares?" Through the first 60 minutes you follow a bunch of kids around school, doing nothing worthwhile. Which I guess is great film making in some circles.

Within this movie we see a teenage girl's butt, and two teen boys making out in the shower. Once again, this is great film making.

The shootings themselves were, morbidly, the movie's high point. Students are taken by the evil killers without a moment's notice. Yet all we know of the killers is their showering habits.

I guess that is great film making. This movie was A-political. It was just a crappy movie.

The saving grace of this movie is that it clocks in at around 70 minutes. Now that is great film making!

Skipped Parts (2000)

Hollywood is a cesspool (sp warning)

[1/10 · 29 March 2004]

To best review this movie, it is improtant to review what happened in the movie.

A 14-yr old boy has questions about sex, good, most do. He has a nocturnal emissions and asks his mom what happened, ok, I'm sure he was scared, then his mom touches, then smells, then tastes, his emission. That is about the level this movie is on.

Within this movie two 14-yr olds have "exploration" sex. Condoned, and instructed (by use of a taco shell), by the boy's mother and the girl's aunt. The girl gets pregnant, the boy's mom drives her to an abortion clinic, there she sees her mom and history teacher so she leaves.

At the end of the movie the girl's mother is in an insane asylum. Which is where the makers, and writer of this movie belong. The girl moves in with the boy and his mother and her lover, with her baby. The two 14-yr olds are shown as a happy couple raising a baby, he doing his writing, and she cheerleading. Sure, what about the endless crying baby?

The moral of this movie is how "evil" those conservatives are that say "sex should wait" and do evil things like force their kids to act right. By doing what you want things may go bad, like being pregnant at 14, but things will always work out.

Saving Jessica Lynch (2003 TV Movie)

What's the deal with everyone

[10/10 · 11 November 2003]

This movie didnt make JL to be some hero she wasnt. I dont even think she shot her gun in the movie. Here is the gist of the comments here: Gulf War II was wrong=everything that happened is wrong.

Ok, some could say this movie was boring, I wouldnt but some might. How is this so horrible of a movie?

Basic (2003)

Perfect anti-military/American movie!!!!!!!!!!!

[1/10 · 31 July 2003]

To begin with, I'm a fan of Sam Jackson, and John Travolta. I love war movies and hardly ever found one I disliked. Plus I'll watch a movie I don't like just to finish it and see if it had potential (I'm a movie fanboy).

So I popped "Basic" in the ol' DVD player and my God what a piece of garbage!!

First off: There is a SSGT leading this ultra kick butt Ranger Platoon in Panama? I'm not all up on Army goings on but iisn'ta LT the PL????

Second: OK, what the heck is a chick doing in this ultra kick butt Ranger Platoon?? First I thought it was some small dude but ok, Mr. PC Hollywood producer, what the heck is that all about? On top of that she is carring on marching up mountains while big dudes are crying ttheirbrains out.

Third: The anti-gay thing. Ok, Sgt Jackson knows one of his men is gay and all army dudes hate gays so Sgt. Jackson sets it up to kill gay Ranger in the woods. Every Liberal knows this is how the Army deals with gays, right?

Fourth: The drug dealing. To be honest this is where I turned it off, when the guy was like, "I guess he didn't tell you about stealing drugs and selling them" So I really don't know how that panned out.

Fith: Following the standard movie format you cant have a movie without a super-ultra-hot chick for the lead actor to get all mushy on. This leaves nothing to chance.

There may be more reasons to hate this film.

Conclusion: If you like movies that bash the military, and disparage what we (or they) do, plus if you like your movies to paint Rangers as sissy-drug dealing-homophobes then this is your movie!! If you have any taste of decency then use this DVD as a beer coaster while watching nearly anything else.