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Mike-263
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Reviews
The Patriot (2000)
...well...the battle scenes were great!!!
Yes, aside from some of the greatest battle scenes (read: REALISTIC) since "Saving Private Ryan" - this film is just too over-sentimental and down-right manipulative (tear-jerker to the max...) There is also way too much religion forced on the audience... something a lot of people (myself included) find offensive. Although I really wanted to like this film - in the end the word "HOKEY" comes to mind. The deleted scenes added to the DVD are a definite plus...
Brivido giallo: A cena con il vampiro (1989)
Skip this meal...
From what I understand, Mr. Bava abandoned this project before completion...AND RIGHTFULLY SO!!! If I were him I definitely would have made sure that EVERY copy was burned and if anybody in the future ever asked me about this film...IT NEVER HAPPENED & IT NEVER EXISTED...end of story.
Despite some great sets and good photography this is one horrible film...is it supposed to be scary? (not in the least) is it supposed to be funny?? (puh-leese) A total waste of time...and I really don't like to have to say that!!
Vampyre (1990)
Kill this one quick!!
I have seen some bad films in my life...but this one takes the cake!
Doesn't even qualify as a "good" bad film - it's as if the producers went totally out of their way to find people who couldn't act in ANY way, shape or form... An insomniacs dream - if this film doesn't put you to sleep...then your only other choice is suicide!!
Campfire Tales (1997)
What a surprise...
I switched this on (from cable) on a whim and was treated to quite a surprise...although very predictable this film turned out to be quite enjoyable...no big stars but well-directed and just plain fun. With all the over-hyped crap that is out there it is very nice to get an unexpected surprise now and then... and this little film fits the bill nicely. 9/10
Demon Wind (1990)
More like "Passing Wind"...
I truly love horror films & try to give every one I see as much credit (or sometimes more) as possible, but this is really pushing the ticket...most of the cast were very like-able but hardly any of them could act at all - but then again think about the writing/dialogue of this mess...some good make-up but absolutely ridiculous special fx. All in all I give it 3 out of 10 - & am having second thoughts about that!!
Tales That Witness Madness (1973)
Just plain silly...
Despite an excellent cast and good production values this (supposed) horror film commits the ultimate sin: it doesn't scare... It's like watching some sit-com level "Twilight Zone" rip-off episode(s)... If you want to enjoy the real thing see one or all of the following: "Tales from the Crypt" (1972) "Asylum" (1972) or "Vault of Horror" (1973)
Strangeland (1998)
Give it a break people...
This thriller is one of the few (film) surprises I've had in quite some time. Everybody - and I do mean EVERYBODY - I talked to when it was in the theatres said it was awful...but then I got to thinking...none of these people really understand horror/thriller films or metal rock - so WHY DO I LISTEN TO THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE????? This film kicks ass - but ONLY if you are able to comprehend and enjoy this type of entertainment. In short (too late) - see it with an open mind and it might just open your mind. ...the soundtracks great too...
The Curse of Inferno (1997)
"Curse" is right...
Let me save you - the real "Curse of Inferno" is having to totally waste 87 minutes of your life on this incredibly dull, not funny, not dramatic, not anything of a film that mind you had a good cast but I am sure even they couldn't tell you why this film even exists... poor Pauly - how we miss ya...
Legend of the Mummy (1998)
Bad Mummy...
This incredibly inept (supposed) horror film is so badly done that one might think that everyone involved (cast & crew) created this mess just to upset the general movie-going public and to sit back and laugh at us for trying to watch it! ...either that or it was created as some sort of tax dodge... Please don't waste your time on this 0 out-of 10 trash...(a.k.a.
"Bram Stoker's The Mummy")
La plus longue nuit du diable (1971)
With the ultra-sexy Erika Blanc and a pretty good Satan...what more could you ask for?
It's the old cliched combination of a family curse with your standard stranded tourists in an old spooky mansion plus the added "seven deadly sins" story-line...but there is a little something extra: the presence of the very sexy Ms. Blanc - wearing a remarkable wardrobe selection. Low budget but well-shot and definitely worth your time...
La montaña sagrada (1973)
ooooooo...
It's very simple: this film is one of the oddest and greatest films you will ever see!! Not for everyone (THANK GOD) but an experience you will never forget...see it uncut!!
Godzilla (1998)
Crapzilla...
Have just finished watching this horrible excuse for a movie and I am so disappointed and down-right disgusted that my blood pressure is WAY up and I have to actually force myself not to scream!! How can (so-called) professionals create such utter trash?? There are NO redeeming qualities to this film what-so-ever... "acting" is brain-dead... FX non-existent (the monster keeps changing size!)... I could go on but I'm sure you get the point... A MUST TO AVOID!!
La cripta e l'incubo (1964)
Is there anything worse than an empty crypt?
Ultimately disappointing version of LeFanu's "Carmilla" with all the right ingredients: sets, locations, atmosphere and (of course) Christopher Lee - but somewhere along the way someone lacked the courage to actually venture forth with the true subject of a classic work of literature. This film would definitely have benefited from the presence of the great Barbara Steele.
Shadow Builder (1998)
Cancel this Builder's license...
What do you get with a good story-line, an interesting cast, better than average special FX and apparently a pretty good budget?? Answer: a botched up horror/fantasy showing that there was definitely someone in charge who really didn't know what he was doing. It really is a shame because this film easily falls into the 'woulda - coulda - shoulda been' category. Not a total waste of time - but oh so disappointing...