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Reviews
Batman: Dead End (2003)
simply awesome
Batman fans will get goosebumps watching this masterpiece! Do whatever it takes to get a hold of this- you won't be sorry. I pray to any and all gods that in 2 years this short will be a special feature on a DVD for the next Batman flick- a 2 hour version made in this same look and feel...
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
Worst movie I've seen in public...
Utter garbage! (((POSSIBLE SPOILER))) First, let me say I love the gory and the bizarre. 70's horror is my favorite- Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Last House On The Left, Dawn Of The Dead and House On Dead End Street are all brilliant. Even Tourist Trap was better then this sad, self-important extended music video. Nothing in this movie is shocking, sick, bizarre, unsettling, or even gross. And, wow, talk about a surprise ending! Jeez...hard to see that one coming! Just like with his appearance and his 'music', Rob Zombie tries way too hard. Rob, you can't set out to make a cool, cult film. The fans decide that...
Torn Curtain (1966)
One of the worst...
Wow! Where to start? An incredible vision of how NOT to make a movie! Terribly uninteresting from the start, this film takes about an hour to get to a point where you say, "Ok now it'll pick up and get going!" Well, guess what- IT DOESN'T! A ridiculous knock down, drag-out fight/murder scene looks like it came straight out of a Herschell Gordon Lewis or Al Adamson film. The worst is still yet to come... Hitchcock then fills the latter parts of the movie with such bad attempts of suspense (the bus scene, the blackboard bickering, the theater full of guards) they all come off as frustrating and maddening. This film fails to compare even to lesser Hitchcock efforts- it is truly in a field of its own.
Meet the Feebles (1989)
WORST "MOVIE" EVER MADE!!!
This movie is terrible! This is the hardest movie to sit through. Don't get me wrong, I absolutlely love bad taste and sick jokes. But this tries way too hard and the novelty wears off REAL soon. Even though I like Jackson's Bad Taste and Dead Alive, they too are overlong and overblown. The same with The Frighteners. He either needs better scripting or a better editor. OK, hahahahah we get it- muppets doing pornos, shooting up, getting AIDS, hahahahahah! I can't think how anyone could possibly watch this a second time! The only films that I can think of that are harder to sit through are Herschell Gordon Lewis' "Just For The Hell Of It", and "This Stuff'll Kill Ya!" I did funnier stuff and with more bad taste with MY puppets when I was a kid! Maybe I shoulda filmed it...
Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
Best of its kind...
Forget all the hype, forget any kind of "message" Deodato tries for, and forget the bannings. What we have here is a one of a kind movie experience. I love the jungle/cannibal genre of the seventies and early eighties. Cannibal Ferox, Eaten Alive, and Jungle Holocaust are all entertaining, but you can't take them seriously. Cannibal Holocaust gives you no choice but to take it serious! The violence is brutal and real, but it doesn't come across as crass or sensationalized. It's almost like being desensitized to violence in war. Bottom line is, if you like extreme horror or Italian exploitation films, you'll love it. Don't approach it as a morality movie and don't approach it as a dare, based on its reputation. Just sit back and take it in. It still holds up today, after numerous viewings. I'm hoping I can throw away my mediocre copy for a DVD someday!
Boogie Nights (1997)
Terrible waste of time!
Utter garbage! I had high hopes for this movie, and it certainly sounded like it was right up my alley. But alas it is definitely one of the worst I've seen! What a pointless, plodding exercise in self indulgence! How could this be critically acclaimed and Showgirls be lambasted as one of the worst films ever? They are frighteningly similar in a lot of ways, and I think Showgirls was a lot more entertaining. Marky Mark is no more of an actor then Elizabeth Berkely. The second half of the movie is just a long, pointless Tarantino rip-off that is even harder to watch then 2 Days In The Valley. When I think of this movie's success, all I can think about is the story about the Emperor's New Clothes. Once the ball starts rolling with critics ranting and raving about it, most people are already convinced they are going to love it. If they don't then they don't "get it". Rubbish! The same goes for the Blair Witch Project. I am a big horror fan, but hated that. So people tell me I am either a blood and guts addict, or I have no imagination. Huh? It simply wasn't scary, it was a bloated boring version of MTV's Real World getting lost in the woods. Boogie Nights is chock full of loathable characters doing stupid things, what a waste of time! AVOID!
L'occhio nel labirinto (1972)
Very well made giallo
Giallo fans, seek out this rare film. It is well written, and full of all sorts of the usual low lifes that populate these films. I don't want to give anything away, so I wont even say anything about the plot. The whole movie creates a very bizarre atmosphere, and you don't know what to expect or who to suspect. Recommended! The only place I've seen to get this film in english is from European Trash Cinema, for $15.
Steel Magnolias (1989)
Keep swallowing back the same puke!
The worst kind of swill thrown against the screen! How could ANYONE like this crap? If I want to hear a bunch of old crones gossip, I'd go to church! Would have been much better if a hostage had been taken, or an extended car chase, or even some mud wrestling! There's two hours of my life gone for good! THANKS!