Smoky Reviews

The Tale of The Princess Kaguya (2013)

A perfect animation movie

[10/10 · 19 January 2020]

This film is a real gem. It has a powerful story and beautiful visuals and a few songs that while simple fit wonderfully.

It is based on an old Japanese folk tale and I am glad I had never heard of it before. For me at least the twists were unexpected and somewhat surprising. To some ears the plot might sound ridiculous when just summarized, but drawn in sketchy but extremely powerful and clear strokes it focuses the story so perfectly that we can feel with the characters and the simple but powerful messages about life, love, power and the human society really sink in.

An absolutely wonderful masterpiece - deeply artistic and moving.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)

The best in the series

[10/10 · 4 January 2020]

After having seen episode 9 on the big screen I just had to come back to this, the best of the Star Wars movies, to give it a massive thumbs up. Although we knew that Anakin has to turn into Darth Vader here, the drama surrounding it is breathtaking. The intensity of a scene with nothing else than a guy waiting in a room. The twisted righteousness of the Jedi, the political trickery of Palpatine and a character lost and torn apart by love, fear and conventions of society. It really is great drama and on top of it is great action. It shows how Lukas has matured and if you are honest, none of the original trilogy did even come close to this.

After having seen it again I can almost forgive Lucas for having sold the soul of it to Disney. Revenge of the Sith completes a good story arch in a non-cronological manner. And if you must have a happy end, you can follow it up by watching IV, V and VI.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)

Like good frozen Pizza

[6/10 · 4 January 2020]

For me "The Rise of Skywalker" tasted like frozen Pizza. Good frozen Pizza, mind you. All the ingredients are there - and well declared on the package. You essentially get a remake of most of the most iconic scenes of the previous 8 movies in the franchise with a little extra twist. But nothing more.

There is no heart, no daring, no artistic vision I could discern, just a desire to tick off all the boxes the average moviegoer expects from a Star Wars film. There are actually hints of really interesting new ideas that, fully developed, could have made a great movie. But the almighty hand of some studio boss was all too obvious: you don't just do daring stuff with a multi-billion dollar investment.

So the story meanders from scene to scene that all feel vaguely familiar to culminate rather predictably with an ending that gently prepares us for part 10 of the saga.

But at least (minor spoiler!) the wookie finally got its medal.

Disaster Movie (2008)

An incoherent and tasteless mess, but certainly not *the* worst movie around

[2/10 · 13 October 2019]

I have to admit that I am not the target audience for Disaster Movie. I have not watched any other of the franchise before and probably don't know the movies it is spoofing well enough to enjoy its "jokes". The only reason I was watching it is that as of the day of writing, this occupies toe top (or bottom?) spot on the IMDB bottom 100 list. According to that ranking it beats stuff like "Manos The Hand of Fate", "Birdemic" and "Saving Christmas", so as a bad movie lover I had to see it. And right off the bat: yeah, the badness oozes right from the first minute of this one. There is incoherent storytelling, bad acting, unfunny and tasteless jokes galore and enough confusing stuff to make your head spin. And yet, this is not the worst movie there is and the reason is Nicole Parker. Even when she first appears as the gasoline gulping Amie Winehouse lookalike the scene becomes enjoyable in a weird way. And when she later reenters the scene as the enchanted princess - although her lines are as crappy or even crappier than those of the rest of the cast - she is neither embarrassed nor pompous, but she seems to be fully aware and she seems to enjoy playing this crap as much as a bad movie lover enjoys watching it.

Don't get me wrong, the movie is still a confusing mess filled with tasteless jokes but because of this exceptional performance it is not nearly the worst film I have seen.

Men in Black: International (2019)

Average fair

[6/10 · 6 October 2019]

Well, what can one expect from a sequel number - 4 i guess? Not so much probably. The two actors that made it all work - Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones - are long gone, now we just get a few more alien races and some optical pimp a la James Bond (hence the international) and that's basically it. It's not done without skill and the movie tries to deliver what the audience expects, so yeah. If you are into MIB you will probably like it. If not, it is still watchable, but don't expect any miracles.

The Dead Don't Die (2019)

what a mess

[3/10 · 6 October 2019]

Can you really botch up a movie starring Bill Murray, Tilda Swinton and Steve Buscemi? Saddly, the answer is yes. And if you want to know how, go ask Jim Jamush, because he managed to. It is actually quite a stretch to even call this a movie. It is more like a semi-random assortment of scenes with the lead character almost falling asleep as if to anticipate the audience reaction.

Seriously, what were the director and the screenwriter thinking? Just a little hint: self-referrential stuff is not funny per se. Especially when it is so predictible! Zombies going for fashion or bluetooth - yea, come on. and the earth axis tilting because of trump - haha, yea all very deep and aware or whatever. but it's just so ...boring.

the 3 stars are there for the 3 stars. no matter how asleep bill murray is, he is at some level a joy to watch. Same goes for Swinton and Buschemi. They do well with what little the script offerd them but in the end - sorry, that really didn't cut it. too bad, with just a little less hubris it might actually have been quite a good one.

Idiocracy (2006)

the most subversive muvie i've ever seen

[8/10 · 14 April 2019]

Picture this: in a world of idiots, where the only use humans have for water is flushing it down the toilet, there is one person who is a bit less of an idiot. He realizes that plants should not be irrigated with an energy drink but rather with "toilet water". This gets him nearly killed, but ultimately solves the dust bowl they have been facing.

When he wants to leave them, he tells them that they have to solve the next problem, a leaking "nucular reactor" by themselves. And what do they come up with? Well, put toilet water on it!

Funny, eh? Well, after Fukushima there might be a few more people than just physicists (like director Mike Judge) who know that this would be a good way to proceed. Now the joke is on us, the viewers.

This, in essence, is the level of this movies subversiveness. It feels blunt like a sledgehammer, but it is very sarcastic and ultimately makes fun of its viewers. The ultimate joke is of course the very topic of the movie. It takes an old Nazi philosophy - eugenics - and shoves it down our throats so we admire it and laugh about how stupid it is to oppose it. It tells us straight in the face that ager the Nazis "a greater power emerged - the UN. And it un-nazied the world forever". And 500 years later, the result is a world of morons.

I don't know if I should admire or dispise Mike Judge for what he did. In some way the movie is fascinating, but beware. Ultimately the joke is always on you.

Atomic Falafel (2015)

hilarious

[9/10 · 14 March 2019]

I had next to no expectations when I came across this DVD, but it was actually quite hilarious. So, it is a comedy about nuclear war and there are so may ways it could go wrong, but it doesn't. it is wonderfully disrespectful and tries hard to make fun of every last cliche we have regarding the middle east conflict and the german-jewish relations.

The story revolves about a young widow who earns her living selling Falafel to soldiers in a secret nuclear base somewhere in the dessert. When she falls in love with a German nuclear weapons inspector they unknowingly cause delays to a secret nuclear attack plan. The other side (Iran) is not sleeping either and so things head towards an epic showdown.

The movie has a very sharp sense of irony and borrows a bit from the classic Dr. Strangelove. Oh yea, and watch out for the scene with the "instant conversion" Rabbi.

The Martian (2015)

a great movie!

[9/10 · 15 June 2018]

Congratulations to Ridley Scott, this was a great one!

I love good science fiction movies, but they are so hard to find. In most "science fiction" the "science" is thin at best and an excuse for special effects or some absurd action.

The Martian is different and it really is a great one! When it started out with this unrealistically strong sandstorm I was ready to bury my hopes, but then it got better and better by the minute. there was one more inaccuracy that was initially a bit off-putting - the non-martian gravity, but apart from that the science was sound. And better yet, it was the core of the action. Getting stranded on a distant planet is challenging :-) and the challenges in the movie felt like they were the real thing. How to survive? How to get food? How to take off? How to reach earth? All these are tricky to figure out and it is a blast to watch a bunch of smart, friendly and cooperating people figure them out - always with that smirk that old-timers know from the heroes of the Apollo days. Yes, they've got the right stuff and they need plenty of it to "bring him home".

Apart from this technical side, there is something even more wonderful about this movie. Through the extremely intelligent choice of (sometimes very bad) music and little hints here and there it has a curious "retro" feeling. It almost makes you feel like this is an alternative reality, playing out sometime in the last decade of the previous century, in a world where after the moon landings we did not stop but just made the logical next move to go to mars. And somehow this feels so right and so upbeat, it is a joy to watch.

In any case, the Martian is a joy to watch from beginning to end. After all, whan did you last see a movie that let kept you excited with the intricacies of celestial mechanics?

In Bruges (2008)

What was that???

[2/10 · 27 December 2015]

There are not many movies I stop watching after the first half hour has passed - this was one of them. It is advertised as an intelligent comedy then we see a boy (about 10 years old) murdered by a head shot (yeah, comedy!) and the murderer, hiding in Bruges, picks up a local lady, tells her on a dinner date that he is a hired gun and starts a bar brawl with their neighbor and his girlfriend (yeah, intelligent!).

i suppose no police arrived at the scene, arrested him, and compared his fingerprints to the one he left on a sheet of paper that belonged to the boy he murdered (we saw him do that in the murder scene).

i'm sorry, but i really don't know why I should care for stories taking place in this parallel universe.

The Lion in Winter (2003 TV Movie)

Not bad at all

[9/10 · 21 May 2015]

One thing is fore sure: it takes some serious guts to remake a classic like Lion in Winter. That is especially true for Glenn Close, who dares to take on the role of Eleanore, which earned Katherine Hepburn her fourth academy award in the 1968 original.

Somewhat surprisingly, I actually found this installment to be the better of the two. The story, very briefly, unfolds at King Henry II's Christmas court where his imprisoned wife, his warring sons and the King of France are present. The entire action is confined to a few days and concerns the machinations and intrigues surrounding the selection of Henry's heir. It's a film that is almost entirely carried by the characters and their various weird interrelations, although the costumes and the castle are actually really nice, especially considering that it was made for TV.

Patrick Steward can truly shine here and one is duly reminded that he is a Shakespearean actor and not just the captain of the Enterprise. He is a much more nuanced and also humane Henry and makes Peter o'Tool in the 1968 installment look like a bone-headed brute. He makes it believable that he favors John, which I never quite understood in the original. Glenn Close's performance is also top notch and the chemistry between her and Steward is perfect. The reals standout performance for me however was Jonathan Rhys Meyers as the young king Philip of France. His portrayal of the spoiled kid become king is spot on and sometimes incredibly funny.

The only reason I am not giving the full 10 stars here is actually the script. While it is fun to watch the scheming up to a point, I found it to be a bit too much towards the very end.

All together however, this made for TV movie is a real treat.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)

Why did they cast Swinton?

[6/10 · 21 May 2015]

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe could have been a nice little (almost) family movie. The story is not brilliant but OK, there are some likable kids as heroes - although they don't do that much heroic stuff - and there is a lot of magic and special effects for eye-candy. Without thinking too much about it you could just cheer for the kids and enjoy a happy end.

But then there is Tilda Swinton as the white whitch. Although she is stuck in some ridiculous wardrobe and with some borderline ridiculous dialogue, it takes about ten seconds of her mesmerizing performance to make you realize how mediocre all the rest is. When she is on screen everyone else pales in comparison and I found it near impossible to root for the heroes. In some scenes she also projects a villainy that for my taste was well beyond a PG rating. All together her presence was kind of a reality check which is not very becoming for a relatively flat fantasy story.

Full Metal Jacket (1987)

Ain't war hell?

[9/10 · 21 March 2015]

Yes, indeed, war is hell. And a lot of men seem to enjoy it. Like the crazy helicopter gunman in Full metal Jacket that utters this phrase after explaining his techniques of shooting women and children. But also the other characters we meet, like Private Joker, take a keen pleasure in killing. We follow them trough their Marine boot camp, where they learn to connect their sexuality with their killing instincts, through more or less random events in the Vietnam war, where they have an alternating lifestyle between fighting and having sex either with a prostitute or on their own, into the final showdown where - at the peak of the movies irony - a woman turns out to be the most effective killer.

It took me almost to decades and several viewings to vaguely understand what Kubrick is trying to say with this movie. It's of course a bitter and cynical war movie, but ultimately the real message is about the relation of men and women and how this tension so drastically shapes our world.

Compared to Kubricks other war movies - Dr. Strangelove and especially Paths of glory - this one doesn't hold up quite that well. While the inevitable logic and human nature itself drive the plot forward forcefully in these other pieces, this one is more of a philosophical statement about human nature and it is very dark and cynical indeed. I would not count it among Kubricks best, but it nonetheless is a really great movie.

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)

well done!

[9/10 · 29 May 2002]

A lot of bad things have been said about George Lucas following the mildly annoying Star Wars Episode I. Two of them are definitely not true: That he doesn't listen to critics and that he `has lost it'.

Honestly, I did not expect much from Episode II. I hoped for a state of the art display of CG which was not so obnoxious you would want to turn away. But I was pleasantly surprised already a few minutes into the film. There was a lot of CG, but not just for the fun of it. The atmosphere was dense and gloomy and as the plot unraveled, there was a real sense of danger and, almost too good to be true for the action movie it basically is, it actually started developing some depth. The force is no more an infectious disease and Jedi are finally something more than well coreographed martial artists. There was a mystical undercurrent, brilliantly displayed by Joda in two very different pivotal scenes. There is the overall sense of corruption and doom, a very well done hierarchy among the Jedi and finally a really interesting geneology of people to play a role in the original Star Wars.

Also the characterization and acting was quite good overall. I even found the love story well done. It was so ridiculous and juvenile - if by accident or by design - that it provides a firm background for Anakin to be thrown onto the dark side, as it inevitably has to come.

Some things could of course have been done better. Obi-Wan for example was a little too weak and uncharismatic in my opinion to make Anakins rebellion against him believable. And, if queens are elected on Naboo, do they really vote for one that is a mere 16 years old? But these are minor glitches that do not substantially undermine the general soundness of the plot and characters.

On the technical side I liked the action sequences a lot. In contrast to the now usual action fare, they are not cut in the 2-second pieces that make you want to throw up after a minute. They actually allow you to follow what is going on to a large extent and, although quite frequent, they do not cut the movie into disconnected pieces. And, what is really nice, they are lacking the totally unbelievable two-people-against-a-whole-army-scenes.

And finally, there is one little detail that I almost admire Lucas for: He managed to dispose of obnoxious Jar-Jar Binks in a fashion, that both his fans and opponents will approve: He is there in the movie, but he is not only told to shut up once, but, as it turns out, he is the one formally responsible for the death of the republic and the creation of the empire!

Overall, I really liked this movie and even a little more. George Lucas has grown up - and that is meant as a compliment. Back in 1977 the now `Episode 4' seems to have hit the nerve of that time. For me at least it seems, that Episode 2 has done that again.

Wings of Desire (1987)

good film

[8/10 · 30 October 2001]

This is the sort of film that pops up in your mind every now and then, even weeks (an i bet years) after you have seen it. first of all it is different. its leisurely pace is perfect and necessary for all the currents that run beneath the surface. it is enchanting, but not overly sweet. and it gives you an incredibly vivid impression of the once divided berlin.

unfortunately, it can't deliver at the end. just when the disjoint threads of the story finally combine, it is too explicit, too unimaginative and almost too trivial.

finally, watch out for peter falk, as the 'devil'. he is really top notch.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

Slight suction

[7/10 · 21 May 1999]

Well, not that anyone would care for my opinion - I just have to write it anyway. There is one and only one reason to see this movie and (correct) it's the special effects. They are amazing. They are beyond anything ever seen before. They are nearly flawless (from a technical point of view) and perfectly integrated. Everything else in this movie was pretty much forgettable and some things really hurt (me at least). Among all things, this movie starts with a taxation dispute. Gone are the days of swashbuckling heroes with a loose tongue and a good sense of humor. Everything is business now, even the storyline. For the loose tongue we get wooden dialoge (which at certain points is just really, really bad and completely unbelievable) and the humor is now provided by fully animated fart jokes and one of the most annoying sidekicks I have ever seen. The force is now the effect of some microbes and can be measured by means of a blood sample and Darth Vader is virgin-born messiah who speaks to his mom as if reciting from ancient scriptures (altough I believe this point may be altered in the coming episodes). In this galaxy, I would not be too surprised to find the planet Zeist somewhere. But all of this would be unimportant if the story would run smoothly. Unfortunately it does not. The movie takes no time to introduce us into its universe, we get thrown right into it. The plot is contrived and most scenes feel packed with necessary references for the sequels and expository dialoge. Those which are not are technically excellent, but really superfluous from a story point of view. The light saber 'duels' for example are top notch action and far better than anything seen in the original trilogy, but Darth Maul is just your typical pop-up-enemy with no background and totally lacks the evil aura of the original Darth Vader. Even worse is senator Palpatine, who we know will become the evil emperor finally. There is nothing scary or sinister about him and none of his manipulative tricks is ever shown. The only scary thing is our knowledge of his eventual fate. There is a lot that I would still like to comment, but let me just mention the scene cuts. The editing left me extremely unsatisfied as I felt some scenes were cut right in the middle. This very much added to my impression, that this film is overcrowded and tries to accomplish too much in too little time.

Anyhow, I gave this movie a 7, the special effects just were that good. Also the soundtrak is very well done and Neeson really saves the day, making this movie watchable regardless of its flaws

Alien: Resurrection (1997)

The best one could do

[7/10 · 11 May 1999]

Well, this movie pretty much explores every interesting possibility left open by the first 3. The problem is however, that there are not that many left. Also there is the small issue, that Ripley died in the previous part (but in this kind of film logic is not an ingredient anyway).

On the other hand, some ideas were pretty original and the half-Alien Ripley was interesting, even if it was obvious, which side she would join. Also, this film featured one of the coolest Macho-characters ever. "What a waste of ammo - must be a chick thing."

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

I am impressed

[8/10 · 28 March 1999]

I have just seen this movie and am quite impressed by it. As I have only seen recent installments(5+) of Star Trek before, I never thought the series had this much potential. Above all, William Shatner shows that when he is not on an ego trip, he can be quite an actor and manages to keep a plot moving, which has both style and substance. Also the villain is quite superb and the special effects are excellent (proving again that it is not the raw computer power that makes them believable in the first place).

If this film has one flaw, it is that the series should have ended here (or at least Spock should not have been raised from the dead). But then I guess this is just Star Trek. Spock has lost his brain before...