C- for CGI. Background is static, non-moving. Our central object/person has natural movement, but little detail. Story wise this Russian interpretation (amongst countless) borrowed several typical fairytale themes, e.g evil circus boss; beautiful acrobat love interest; talking horse with attitude as companion; a magic making witch. The 2020 Italian version by Garrone was much better.
43 Reviews
Horrible and stupid
ryanward-4503910 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
This is far by the worst adaptation of Pinocchio I ever seen, bar none. The story here is boring and the graphics are bad. Whole movie is garbage and I loved the original animated Disney film a lot better. You probably would want to avoid this one entirely and go back watching the original animated Disney film. Overall this is the worst adaptation of Pinocchio and very stupid.
2/10.
2/10.
So mediocre - kids (and I) were borre
franck-bassy27 May 2022
This is a terrible movie in all aspect.
First the voices are just aweful to listen - it so badly played, flat tones, so disconnected between the movie and what they say. No emotiona.
The graphics are also not great. It looks like one of the games from 10-15years ago. Ok the light reflect well on objects. But overall a low budgrt movie.
The story just don't add up, the script and logic... my kids were bored too.
I feel sad for the crew who has worked on this - it's so mediocre.
First the voices are just aweful to listen - it so badly played, flat tones, so disconnected between the movie and what they say. No emotiona.
The graphics are also not great. It looks like one of the games from 10-15years ago. Ok the light reflect well on objects. But overall a low budgrt movie.
The story just don't add up, the script and logic... my kids were bored too.
I feel sad for the crew who has worked on this - it's so mediocre.
Torn between a 1 and a 10
TheVictoriousV9 April 2022
There are a number of conspiracy theories around the new Lionsgate animated picture Pinocchio: A True Story. I believe in all of them. Here is a film that is so mesmerizingly incompetent and "off" in so many respects that it seems meticulously devised, in its own sense -- even, dare I say, intentional.
Yes, the popular theory states that this movie (or at least, its US dub) was made into a baffling mess on purpose so as to attract attention and that the myriad of TikTok memes about the film -- mostly revolving around Pauly Shore's vocal performance as the wooden child Pinocchio, now sounding more like a fruity middle-aged man -- was totally part of the plan. I mean, when the official Lionsgate TikTok page posts "sigma male Patrick Bateman" memes and this film's official IMDb page boasts a world premiere in the United Arab Emirates, it might be safe to assume we're officially being trolled by an entire movie studio.
Not to be confused with the upcoming Del Toro film, the Disney remake, and a bunch of others that I'm probably forgetting about, this particular Pinocchio features Pauly Shore as Pinocchio and Jon Heder in the role of his talking horse, which is the best news that I've received about now-forgotten comedic actors since I learned of Rob Schneider and Norm of the North. Early on in the film, we're advised to forget what we think we know of Collodi's tale of the puppet child who longs to be a real boy.
Gone are the giant whale and the cursed island with the children turned into donkeys. In their place are a trigger-happy cat, a song number that seems to have been translated directly from Martian, and a few jokes that must have been scavenged from the wastebasket of the Shrek writer's room.
You have surely seen some of these things in the trailers and memes, but really, you've only been catching glimpses of this film's insanity.
Despite the talking horse's aforementioned warnings that this won't be the fairy tale we're used to, and despite the fact that I actually saw a different English dub than the meme'd one, will anyone truly be ready for the first shot of Pinocchio and Gepetto (Tom Kenny), where the latter casually carries the former's disembodied, bored-looking head into frame, plonks it down on the carpentry table, and starts hammering it onto the body? Or the fact that almost every line we hear -- not just the trailer highlights -- is gloriously bizarre in its own right?
I mean it, folks. Pretty much every second of this opening is surreal: Gepetto popping Pinocchio down on a chair and saying straight out, "Now I will be less lonely"; Gepetto musing that Leonardo might've been an appropriate name for the boy, hadn't there been the possibility that he'd grow up into a "selfish actor" or a turtle who likes pizza a bit too much; Gepetto initiating a conversation with the Jon Heder horse character by declaring that he is "probably" the only talking horse in the world; the subsequent images of Pinocchio gaining sentience... I could, quite literally, go on for another 90 minutes.
It helps that the editing is horrendous, ergo many of these disgusting/baffling/hilarious sights just sort of show up (yet again, Heder's warnings are of little comfort). While I don't typically wish to humor stoners, I must profess that this might be the Best Movie to Watch Under the Influence of Pot ever made.
What do I really need to tell you about a film like this? There are Barbie movies with better animation, Dingo Pictures joints with more moving stories, and fever dreams with more sensical dialogue. Watch the Japanese film 964 Pinocchio for a less maddening experience (I'm almost entirely non-sarcastic when I say that).
Yes, the popular theory states that this movie (or at least, its US dub) was made into a baffling mess on purpose so as to attract attention and that the myriad of TikTok memes about the film -- mostly revolving around Pauly Shore's vocal performance as the wooden child Pinocchio, now sounding more like a fruity middle-aged man -- was totally part of the plan. I mean, when the official Lionsgate TikTok page posts "sigma male Patrick Bateman" memes and this film's official IMDb page boasts a world premiere in the United Arab Emirates, it might be safe to assume we're officially being trolled by an entire movie studio.
Not to be confused with the upcoming Del Toro film, the Disney remake, and a bunch of others that I'm probably forgetting about, this particular Pinocchio features Pauly Shore as Pinocchio and Jon Heder in the role of his talking horse, which is the best news that I've received about now-forgotten comedic actors since I learned of Rob Schneider and Norm of the North. Early on in the film, we're advised to forget what we think we know of Collodi's tale of the puppet child who longs to be a real boy.
Gone are the giant whale and the cursed island with the children turned into donkeys. In their place are a trigger-happy cat, a song number that seems to have been translated directly from Martian, and a few jokes that must have been scavenged from the wastebasket of the Shrek writer's room.
You have surely seen some of these things in the trailers and memes, but really, you've only been catching glimpses of this film's insanity.
Despite the talking horse's aforementioned warnings that this won't be the fairy tale we're used to, and despite the fact that I actually saw a different English dub than the meme'd one, will anyone truly be ready for the first shot of Pinocchio and Gepetto (Tom Kenny), where the latter casually carries the former's disembodied, bored-looking head into frame, plonks it down on the carpentry table, and starts hammering it onto the body? Or the fact that almost every line we hear -- not just the trailer highlights -- is gloriously bizarre in its own right?
I mean it, folks. Pretty much every second of this opening is surreal: Gepetto popping Pinocchio down on a chair and saying straight out, "Now I will be less lonely"; Gepetto musing that Leonardo might've been an appropriate name for the boy, hadn't there been the possibility that he'd grow up into a "selfish actor" or a turtle who likes pizza a bit too much; Gepetto initiating a conversation with the Jon Heder horse character by declaring that he is "probably" the only talking horse in the world; the subsequent images of Pinocchio gaining sentience... I could, quite literally, go on for another 90 minutes.
It helps that the editing is horrendous, ergo many of these disgusting/baffling/hilarious sights just sort of show up (yet again, Heder's warnings are of little comfort). While I don't typically wish to humor stoners, I must profess that this might be the Best Movie to Watch Under the Influence of Pot ever made.
What do I really need to tell you about a film like this? There are Barbie movies with better animation, Dingo Pictures joints with more moving stories, and fever dreams with more sensical dialogue. Watch the Japanese film 964 Pinocchio for a less maddening experience (I'm almost entirely non-sarcastic when I say that).
False Advertising
uriellibautista31 March 2022
Warning: Spoilers
When I watched the trailer, I expected for the best and truest story about Pinocchio to be told. It sounded like a beautiful coming of age story about a wooden boy who will find all sorts of wood. The most impactful line "Father, when can I leave to be on my own, I have the worldussy." was the most inspirational quote in this decade. It was said in the most beautiful, the most glorious way a man has ever said it that even the girls say " Yasss queeen!!" But when it came to the movie, the way he said it was awful. No emotion at all. That is why I am giving this a 1/10 because we were robbed of a ground breaking scene that everyone loved.
Horrible, but Hysterical
quasimohno6 April 2022
The plot and dialogue is nonsensical. The constable and his goons shuffle around during the film looking for... something suspicious? Apparently? And the weird forced father-son dynamic between Pinocchio and Tibalt was bizarre. It looked like they spent their entire budget on making Bella's hair flow like she was underwater and a singular shot of a water fountain.
The timing, framing, reactions were all off, and the voice acting was jarring at worst and laughable at best. Feels like a giant money laundering scheme.
The timing, framing, reactions were all off, and the voice acting was jarring at worst and laughable at best. Feels like a giant money laundering scheme.
Lionsgate please just stop
nipahzou9 March 2022
Stop trying to pretend that kids are stupid, the infant public deserve better stories than old fashion rippoff fairy tail/comedy movies, the concept itself is already dead, you'd better spend those millions of dollars on projects that really deserve to be seen on theathers, hope you listen, cuz at this rate, your studio is gonna end like blue sky, extint.
This is a wooden man not Pinocchio
smsmsha24 December 2021
PURRIODT PINOCHYASS
iofiii12 February 2022
"FATHERRR 👦 when 😃 can i live to be 🐝on my ownnn 😭💅💅" - Pinocchio (2022)
YALL this is literally the best movie ever made likeee shawshank redemption,,, i dont know her. I haven't even watched the movie but the slayness of it is already so intriguing and would probably replace any quentin tarantino film yasss 🤞🤞🤞
#PinocchioForBestPicture2023
stream red velvet - bad boy!!
YALL this is literally the best movie ever made likeee shawshank redemption,,, i dont know her. I haven't even watched the movie but the slayness of it is already so intriguing and would probably replace any quentin tarantino film yasss 🤞🤞🤞
#PinocchioForBestPicture2023
stream red velvet - bad boy!!
Why
eva_garcia-8028119 April 2022
Pinocchio didn't look like some wooden thing that crawled out of hell to terrorize us mortals. He's just some dude who happens to be made of wood but still walks just like a normal person for some reason. I don't think magically blessed wood or whatever the hell was going on in this movie is going to work exactly like a human joint.
What was even the point?
What was even the point?
THE YASSIFICATION OF PINOCCHIO
rachelforeman-221949 February 2022
Pinocchio is a clear girlboss in this movie, the story is so beautiful and shows the true process of yassification. It shows the grime and grim of the how hard it can be to be a girlboss that we haven't seen in theaters. Work of art, purrrrr.
Finally, the true story!
jonflottorp29 April 2022
(Explained without and spoilers)
This is one of those movies i can't rate because rating it 10/10 whould be unfair and rating it anything less whould just be dumb.
I watch this movie every day and will never stop loving it.
This movie has everything, it has Pauly Shore as pinocchio which is the perfect man for the role. Nobody should skip this movie i highly recommend watching it with my whole heart.
I watch this movie every day and will never stop loving it.
This movie has everything, it has Pauly Shore as pinocchio which is the perfect man for the role. Nobody should skip this movie i highly recommend watching it with my whole heart.
mama mia! a wooden boy
gimlicatgirl4 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
This is the first of the 2022 pinnochio trilogy, and it will be a tough act to follow. This is not for the faint of heart, as the wooden object appears to die several times throughout the movie. Viewers will be touched by his recovery dialogue:
tom kenny: "pinnochio??" pinnochio: "ugh, i guess so"
my only complaint is that the gangster cat lost his gun at the end. 10/10.
tom kenny: "pinnochio??" pinnochio: "ugh, i guess so"
my only complaint is that the gangster cat lost his gun at the end. 10/10.
A film that should remane a meme
mcsilipo3 April 2022
How can you call this film with terrible dub and various grammatically incorrect periods "The true story of Pinocchio"? It is more like another story with a main character made out of wood that goes by the name of Pinocchio. Everything is stereotypically perfect, in fact Pinocchio looks nothing like what he should look based on the original story made by Collodi. The girl, Bella, looks like every boring, fragile, pretty male protagonist love interest (that does not remotely exist in the real story), and a lot of characters are totally distorted (who the hell is Tibalt, or that ridiculous detective?!). This heteronormative and sexist story also lacks every possibile moral a film for children should have, actually teaches them things like "you don't obtain what you want in the easiest and wrong way possibile? Try another one, maybe even easier!". And in the end, the film makes absolutely no sense. The worst film I have ever seen I am trembling in irritation.
What is that Pinocchio voice....
ashilman-205812 March 2022
Whole movie is garbage. Voice acting is atrocious. Got a pretty little princess as Pinocchio... just god awful and a disgrace to the original movie. I don't know who even bothered to fund this movie as it is easily top 5 worst I've ever seen.
This movie is soo good, it is the best.
airconditioners2 July 2022
This movie is the best at being the worst. Shut up. All characters are punchable. It looks stupid that the dead would probably come back to life just to turn this thing off and announce to the world how bad this is. Even the afterlife hates it.
Boring
deeneealdferii24 December 2021
Bad bad bad
pdhemming6 June 2022
This film has no redeeming qualities. From the terrible CGI, awful sound track, words that done match the movement of the mouth, and worst of all, a 50+ year old trying to sound like a small wooden boy. There were 9 people in the movie theater, 4 left half way through. We should have as well.
Terrible terrible movie.
Terrible terrible movie.
the best movie i have ever seen
lukaluukaa18 April 2022
Move over, Godfather and Morbius. This is a true masterpiece. The creator's magnum opus to rival all magnum opuses.
A truly gorgeous work of art. This is everything I could've ever wanted in life, and more.
The director deserves an EGOT.
This movie was so beautiful I started to sob. I haven't stopped sobbing.
It completely changed my life, and I think I have seen God.
Every bit of dialogue has brought me closer and closer to the heavens above.
This is one of the movies ever made.
I physically cannot stop watching this movie. This will be my 56th time.
A truly gorgeous work of art. This is everything I could've ever wanted in life, and more.
The director deserves an EGOT.
This movie was so beautiful I started to sob. I haven't stopped sobbing.
It completely changed my life, and I think I have seen God.
Every bit of dialogue has brought me closer and closer to the heavens above.
This is one of the movies ever made.
I physically cannot stop watching this movie. This will be my 56th time.
90's movie
azab-6421729 December 2021
We stan yassified Pinocchio in this household
theleolover5 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
My favourite moment was when Pinocchio was shot by the anthropomorphic cat because he was a wooden boy. Yet, pinocchio did not fall. He rose and became a representation of overcoming wood-based discrimination. A true role model for all other wooden boys out there.
Pauly Shore deserves an Oscar!
sweetcreature244 May 2022
Father, when I can leave to be on my oooowwn? I've got the whole to seee💅💅
Everyone needs to see this cinematic masterpiece. Citizen Kane has been dethroned. From the SKEEE DEE DEDA to the "I'm ALIVE! I'm a boy and I'm ALIVE!", this movie is fun for no ages. Wouldn't recommend for your worst enemy.
Something is wrong with Pinocchio..
maxmusic-8566710 February 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I'm this movie you can see Pinocchio, right? Well there's a twist. Instead of his nose enlarging, his enlarges. I hate this movie, don't watch it. I'm this movie you can see Pinocchio, right? Well there's a twist. Instead of his nose enlarging, his enlarges. I hate this movie, don't watch it. I'm this movie you can see Pinocchio, right? Well there's a twist. Instead of his nose enlarging, his enlarges. I hate this movie, don't watch it. I'm this movie you can see Pinocchio, right? Well there's a twist. Instead of his nose enlarging, his enlarges. I hate this movie, don't watch it.djrjrbfbfhfhfh.
Bad, but funny.
HotHamlet12 June 2022
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