- Dr. Yap: [Showing Gene and Bob a box of old teeth] This is all my inventory.
- Gene Belcher: What have you done with the rest of Michael Caine, you monster?
- Tina Belcher: I guess you could call this badge my Moby Dick.
- Gene Belcher: I'll call anything Moby Dick. Moby Dick!
- Bob Belcher: Gene.
- Tina Belcher: Welcome to our home.
- Tammy: Ew.
- Gene Belcher: It's not a cruise, but you might catch a stomach thing.
- Jimmy Pesto, Jr.: My dad is taking me to Cooperstown. We go every year.
- Zeke: The Baseball Hall of Fame.
- Jimmy Pesto, Jr.: The what?
- Louise Belcher: You did the right thing coming to me for help.
- Tina Belcher: We didn't come to you. You just barged in here without knocking.
- Louise Belcher: You didn't have time to figure out that you needed my help. Lucky for you, the walls are very thin.
- Tammy: I think some of your walls are just wall paper.
- Tina Belcher: I find that Brett is easy to talk to, especially since we've never talked.
- Tammy: That's why we work. I'm the face, you're the gunk behind the face.
- Gene Belcher: I just ate a dead man's tooth! Now I'm going to take on his personality! Gimme some smokes! I want bourbon!