This is an emotional feast. This is the first time I've watched a Chinese movie with subtitles (don't settle for the english dubbed version) so I'm sure some cultural nuances were missed but the human story spoke volumes. It is a slow unpacking of a relationship over many years but it is worth the journey. The acting is superb. The premise is poignant. It's themes are enduring. The music was beautiful. The inserts while the credits roll sum unpack the whole movie in a beautiful way. - don't miss them. I give this film an 8 (great) out of 10. {Romantic Drama}. Available on Netflix as US AND THEM.
41 Reviews
Very moving!
imuckenschnabl28 November 2019
The Truth About Love
marcoskievy28 July 2022
This film is not only a romance drama; it is jam-packed with many other components. It discussed socioeconomic issues and how tough it is to put one's heart above one's job. The movie made my heart ache because it is so emotionally intense. Because I truly detest sad endings in romance dramas, I wouldn't give it such a high rating. I must admit that this is the most realistic love story drama movie I've seen so far.
How Expectations and Different Goals Affect A Relationship
spasek20 August 2021
Warning: Spoilers
There aren't very many realistic relationship movies out there. Most are mired down by cliches and melodrama where everything always works out in the end. If that is what you're hoping for with this movie, you'd best move on, for this is one of the best films about relationships that I've seen in recent years.
Relationships are work. Period. And the more expectations that two people bring to the table, and the more differing goals that are brought, the more likelihood that the relationship is ultimately doomed.
This is a poignant story of two people who meet on a train, heading home for Chinese New Year. I've lived in China. There is no greater mass migration on the planet than during Chinese New Year. I lived in Shenzhen, a city of 20+ million. The city looked like a ghost town.
Jianqing is a young man living in Beijing. His dream is to create video games. He works at a small kiosk. He doesn't make much money, and his room in his apartment looks more like a metro station...people crammed together and living in bedrooms that look more like cubicles. It's a simple existence that doesn't seem to hold much promise, based upon Jianqing's dreams.
Xiao-Xiao is a young and vibrant woman, full of life, and seems to hop from place to place. Her dream is finding true love. So much so, that she invents stories of boyfriends in order to make her own goal--Jianqing--jealous to the point where she hopes he might come around.
Eventually, Xiao-Xiao pretty much takes the initiative and the two make love. She moves into Jianqing's cramped bedroom. Xiao-Xiao's dream is fulfilled, and she even reminds a frustrated Jianqing that she doesn't care if they live in a box. However, Jianqing firmly believes that Xiao-Xiao can't possibly be happy in their current living situation. In the process of trying to better their living situation, he slowly begins to alienate her, failing to understand that Xiao-Xiao only cares about being with him.
The story is masterfully told by taking us back to 2007 and progressing through the years up to present time. All of the flashbacks are done in color. The present is in black and white. The director is demonstrating a time when dreams were attempting to be realized up to the point where everything is now stale, desolate, and unfulfilled through the black and white landscape of crushed and unrealized dreams. Of course, in the present, after bumping into each other for a final time, they begin to wonder if things could have been different. Based upon how they each saw things, they realize that it couldn't have been. Xiao-Xiao has a bit more wisdom to see the folly than Jianqing.
Jianqing can only focus on--what he feels--his failure to provide for Xiao-Xiao. Xiao-Xiao already knows the futility that he was already everything to her; that he never needed to struggle and fight to make her happy. She was already happy. But, of course, he failed to see it.
Only in the end, when they are finally able to let go, do the vibrant colors begin to fill the landscape, almost as if it were happening in that very moment of their realization and appreciation for what they had...and frankly, still have.
Not only do people's expectation and goals often differ, but people also change as time moves on. Depending upon the couple, these can appear to be insurmountable barrier. And for those who choose to refuse to see what is right in front of them in the other, it too often is just that: an insurmountable barrier.
Most relationships fail due to a lack of communication; to talk things out when it's obvious that things are moving in two different directions, taking each person with them. Perhaps a film like this will inspire folks to look a bit harder at what--and more importantly who--is right in front of them. It's funny and sad how often most people fail to notice.
Relationships are work. Period. And the more expectations that two people bring to the table, and the more differing goals that are brought, the more likelihood that the relationship is ultimately doomed.
This is a poignant story of two people who meet on a train, heading home for Chinese New Year. I've lived in China. There is no greater mass migration on the planet than during Chinese New Year. I lived in Shenzhen, a city of 20+ million. The city looked like a ghost town.
Jianqing is a young man living in Beijing. His dream is to create video games. He works at a small kiosk. He doesn't make much money, and his room in his apartment looks more like a metro station...people crammed together and living in bedrooms that look more like cubicles. It's a simple existence that doesn't seem to hold much promise, based upon Jianqing's dreams.
Xiao-Xiao is a young and vibrant woman, full of life, and seems to hop from place to place. Her dream is finding true love. So much so, that she invents stories of boyfriends in order to make her own goal--Jianqing--jealous to the point where she hopes he might come around.
Eventually, Xiao-Xiao pretty much takes the initiative and the two make love. She moves into Jianqing's cramped bedroom. Xiao-Xiao's dream is fulfilled, and she even reminds a frustrated Jianqing that she doesn't care if they live in a box. However, Jianqing firmly believes that Xiao-Xiao can't possibly be happy in their current living situation. In the process of trying to better their living situation, he slowly begins to alienate her, failing to understand that Xiao-Xiao only cares about being with him.
The story is masterfully told by taking us back to 2007 and progressing through the years up to present time. All of the flashbacks are done in color. The present is in black and white. The director is demonstrating a time when dreams were attempting to be realized up to the point where everything is now stale, desolate, and unfulfilled through the black and white landscape of crushed and unrealized dreams. Of course, in the present, after bumping into each other for a final time, they begin to wonder if things could have been different. Based upon how they each saw things, they realize that it couldn't have been. Xiao-Xiao has a bit more wisdom to see the folly than Jianqing.
Jianqing can only focus on--what he feels--his failure to provide for Xiao-Xiao. Xiao-Xiao already knows the futility that he was already everything to her; that he never needed to struggle and fight to make her happy. She was already happy. But, of course, he failed to see it.
Only in the end, when they are finally able to let go, do the vibrant colors begin to fill the landscape, almost as if it were happening in that very moment of their realization and appreciation for what they had...and frankly, still have.
Not only do people's expectation and goals often differ, but people also change as time moves on. Depending upon the couple, these can appear to be insurmountable barrier. And for those who choose to refuse to see what is right in front of them in the other, it too often is just that: an insurmountable barrier.
Most relationships fail due to a lack of communication; to talk things out when it's obvious that things are moving in two different directions, taking each person with them. Perhaps a film like this will inspire folks to look a bit harder at what--and more importantly who--is right in front of them. It's funny and sad how often most people fail to notice.
Such a great love story
lina-hafizah4 October 2018
The movie is something that we all have experienced before / can relate, where relationship fails because love alone is not enough. Watched this with no expectation on netflix, rate it 10/10 after watching it. Cried a lot too :P This is a must watch for everyone!
touching movie
qqml25 April 2020
Hardship for immigrants living in big city like Beijing constantly struggle to live. Hard but happy. When they become successful and rich, they found the lost too much and true love. As the movie says, we in the future have everything, but we no long have us.
Best Romance Movie Ever - prepare tissue for your tears.
tanzuhao7 July 2018
I suppose many people living in big cities could relate to the movie.
The initial bitterlove was sweet. Despite the financial difficulties, the fact that the two genuinely love and care for each other and that they share the aim of pursuing better future is comforting. But it doesn't last long when the reality hits, especially when the boy is still a boy. He is lost. He forgets what the girl really wants. She doesn't really want a house. She just wants a home.
This movie also tells about parents' perspective as regards their son's relationship. The father part is extremely touching and emotional. That makes this movie stand out from other typical romance movie. A must watch.
The initial bitterlove was sweet. Despite the financial difficulties, the fact that the two genuinely love and care for each other and that they share the aim of pursuing better future is comforting. But it doesn't last long when the reality hits, especially when the boy is still a boy. He is lost. He forgets what the girl really wants. She doesn't really want a house. She just wants a home.
This movie also tells about parents' perspective as regards their son's relationship. The father part is extremely touching and emotional. That makes this movie stand out from other typical romance movie. A must watch.
A simple love story
jenisedong3 July 2018
This movie is a simple love story that follows Xiaoxiao and Jianqing. The film shows their friendship, developing love, and the tragic difficulties that test their relationship.
Overall I would say the story line is pretty basic, the plot is somewhat predictable, and the acting is just mediocre. The film can also be hard to follow and comprehend since it does take place in 3 different time periods. There were a few things things I thoroughly appreciated though. This movie was shot incredibly well, the characters are extremely developed, the film felt quite raw (no sugarcoating), and the screenplay seemed pretty developed.
If you're wondering if you should watch this movie, I would say if you're in the mood for something simple and can tug at your heart strings, go for it.
EMOTIONAL.
andrewchristianjr11 August 2020
touching romance
lkoudri12 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Very emotional, raw and touching. can't say i've ever experienced this kind of love but i feel like it was honest and realistic, which made it really sad... i enjoyed the relationship with the father too and how it ended, with maturity but also sadly a lot of regrets.
the messages at the end from people to their exes were also quite touching as well.
it was my first Chinese movie and i was not disappointed.
A Raw and Beautiful Love Story
nicklaus_dcruz23 July 2018
This tale of love encompasses only the entire world immmediately surrounding Jing Boran and Zhou Dongyu and it is a tale that is raw, honest and so real. Woven around this story however is a Beijing so beautiful it will enrapture you. All its surrounding nature however only emphasises how lonely one can be in a big city. The story flits back and forth over about 8 years and as much as you see the couple as they are currently, their story from a few years ago seems to always have you rooting for them to succeed and embrace the love that so palpable you can reach out and touch it. It is a tough tale to tell and it is both personal and seemingly perpetually painful. There is a line in a letter that is read towards the end that says it is very difficult for two people to live together forever. If only it were not so often true.
So how about us?
lpf-392847 June 2018
chinese version of "One day"
ulrike-2312 March 2019
Very generic adaptaion of the bestseller ONE DAY by David Nicholls - cute but shallow. The chinese interpretation doesn't add anything substantial. Alltough local/chinese themes are touched, the essential feel is just wrong: it remains a westerner's love story.
Heart Wrenching Love Story...
Geeta3523 April 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Beautifully portrayed by Jing Boran and Zhou Dongyu as two star-crossed lovers, who, although they loved each other( in their hearts) over the years, were fated never to come together in a committed relationship. I found myself hoping they could verbally say, ' I love you and only you," to each other and to apologize to each other when they hurt each other, but they couldn't. In the end they went their separate ways and lived separate lives - forever loving and missing each other. The performances were convincing and painful to watch. I cried as I watched it and afterwards as I watched the credits. Keep a box of tissues near by; you will definitely need it.
Kudos to everyone involved in the making of this very moving, realistic love story.
Kudos to everyone involved in the making of this very moving, realistic love story.
I deeply fell in love
salwasfra8 September 2018
This movie is so good to be true. The movie itself beautifully captured every single scene, emotion inside and it described how realistic the relationship can be. Both of main characters did an excellent job on how they captured their character's relationship, journey and story into something that incredibly wonderful and beautiful.
A sad but true Reality
cchann-659969 December 2018
Touching
Tralequang19 October 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I could not feel the full scope of this movie's impact, for I have yet to fight the rat race in a strange and bigger city. Nevertheless, this movie really touches me, and after all the crime gore thriller ones I cried at the end of this romance.
The premise is realistic and common: a young couple struggling to survive the city light. All the catch and chase and promises help to make it feel relatable, and even more melancholy considering the actual outcome. It is sad to see as the girl gravitates towards the boy's past self, he also develops to be what she wanted. The timing is just off.
The acting is good, the music is excellent, and the pain is real. I am aware of the fact that this movie has certain (untellable) connections to my love life, but that does not change the fact this this 2-hour watch is objectively worthwhile.
The love lesson is clear: be more understanding. Seasons change, and people too. The life lesson is there too: the inclusion of the father-son side plot makes it even more real and humane.
A love story that will grow on you
paulyew-4512530 June 2018
I usually do not like to watch subtitled movies since reading the subtitles can be distracting. I came across this movie on Netflix and decided to give it a go and I am very glad that I did. The story itself is nothing extraordinary. However, the movie does an excellent job in building up the characters and drawing you closer to them. I think it is well worth the journey to spend time with these characters and look back to your own unfulfilled love or the ups and downs of fulfilled love. There is also an underlying theme about family, which was carefully and masterfully woven into the story.
A word of caution. Watch the end credits all the way through.
A word of caution. Watch the end credits all the way through.
Happily surprised
gulihere8 May 2019
I watched this as I was in the mood to switch off to a sup prime love story with the added bonus of it being in Chinese. I then found myself a few hours engrossed and in tears. Really fantastically written and acted in terms of exploring the ups and downs of relationships; what goes wrong and what is unexplainably unsalvageable. Almost anyone will be able to recognise the excruciating confusion of love that this film portrays, even if this film is outside of your cultural setting. Incredibly charming and moving, and as an added bonus, really beautifully shot and edited.
This left me in tears...
jxie-9378013 February 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Beautiful movie that I'll never regret watching, though it's about regrets. Until the very last moment, I wished they would get back together. It made me realize: "I always love you" in Chinese doesn't have a past tense, or a future tense. Only always.
So emotional
victoria-2478815 March 2022
The Best Film of 2018...
tccandler5 May 2021
No 2018 film had a greater emotional impact on me than this exquisite Chinese story of unrequited love. Zhou Dongyu and Boran Jing are pitch-perfect as star-crossed lovers who reflect on their missed opportunities and try to come to terms with the apologies their stories deserve. Spanning over a decade, this haunting, romantic epic is not to be missed. Make sure to sit through the credits for the best cinematic weep you will have all year. Rene Liu directs this masterpiece.
(PS -- If anyone has any idea what the piano music is in the NETFLIX trailer, please try to contact me and let me know. Been searching for years now.)
(PS -- If anyone has any idea what the piano music is in the NETFLIX trailer, please try to contact me and let me know. Been searching for years now.)
Underrated movie
Sharknun121 March 2021
Simple love, regrets and relationships
Jithindurden31 July 2018
Even when everything suggests otherwise the hope of youngsters moving into a big city and the magic they see in other people and the future is intoxicating. But life will wear you out and make you blind when the magic meets reality and then the chaotic world takes over. But the emotional connection made will always remain deeply rooted in us which defines who we are. Even the regrets are not something we want to change anymore but that which we can ponder over.
Very realistic.
devosannalie24 October 2021
Two strangers meet on a train and form a bond that evolves over the years. After a separation, they reconnect and reflect on their love for each other.
This film is one of the most despairing films i've ever watched. Its very realistic and i feel that a lot of people can relate to it, How being in a relationship can be very burdensome and that most of the time youre first love will end at some point in youre life. That sometimes life gets on the way and you have no chance but to grow up trough separation. This film definitely makes you reflect on the relationships with the people around you and the regret of what happend in the past. The Cinematography is very beautiful and the actors did an remarkable job! The ending has a very important message " dont wait until its to late to say sorry and i love you"
So you should definitely watch this its a very beautiful and emotional story also watch the end credits its very emtotional but made this film so much more meaningful.
This film is one of the most despairing films i've ever watched. Its very realistic and i feel that a lot of people can relate to it, How being in a relationship can be very burdensome and that most of the time youre first love will end at some point in youre life. That sometimes life gets on the way and you have no chance but to grow up trough separation. This film definitely makes you reflect on the relationships with the people around you and the regret of what happend in the past. The Cinematography is very beautiful and the actors did an remarkable job! The ending has a very important message " dont wait until its to late to say sorry and i love you"
So you should definitely watch this its a very beautiful and emotional story also watch the end credits its very emtotional but made this film so much more meaningful.
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