- Hugo Habercore: I know what a dipstick is, Ron! You get called something so many times, you look it up.
- Hugo Habercore: The health inspector is the thin green line between the diners of this town and gastrointestinal catastrophe.
- Hugo Habercore: You are hereby forbidden to serve food until all violations are corrected. You get an F.
- Sam: Out of...?
- Ron: [Hands Sam an F card] Here's a sign. You have to put this in front of your window.
- Sam: Where everyone can see it.
- Hugo Habercore: That's the point!
- Linda Belcher: I can't believe we forgot your fathers' birthday. There were no signs.
- [Flashback]
- Bob Belcher: Hey, my drivers license expires today.
- [Flashback]
- Linda Belcher: [Holding a lot of letters for Bob] Wow, look at mister popular over here.
- [Flashback]
- Speedo Guy: [Skating by the restaurant] Hey, Bob! Facebook told me it was someone's special day!
- Linda Belcher: [Present] Nope, nothing.
- Tina Belcher: He's right, Mom. Dad doesn't really like parties.
- Gene Belcher: Or surprises.
- Louise Belcher: Or us. Well, you guys.
- Hugo Habercore: You know what I would give to have someone celebrate me, Bob? I have no one. No one!
- Ron: Well, you have one person...
- Hugo Habercore: No one!
- Linda Belcher: I can't keep feeling like I forgot something.
- Tina Belcher: Did you forget to take out the garbage?
- Linda Belcher: No, that's not it.
- Gene Belcher: Did you forget to fart?
- Linda Belcher: No.
- Louise Belcher: Did you forget where you're from? You're from the streets, mom. From the streets.
- Hugo Habercore: Hey, Bob. Guess what time it is.
- Bob Belcher: What time is it?
- Hugo Habercore: Health inspection o'clock.
- Hugo Habercore: By the time this day's through, you will eat a wrap!
- Bob Belcher: Oh, I'll eat a wrap. I will eat the crap out of that wrap!