- [Sheldon has been sent to the principal's office for talking back to his science teacher. He's waiting in the principal's secretary's office while she talks to Principal Petersen]
- Principal Petersen: Does he know I'm in here?
- Sheldon: [over PA] Attention students and faculty:
- Principal Petersen: Oh, no!
- Sheldon: This is Sheldon Lee Cooper.
- Principal Petersen: [jiggling his office doorknob, but it won't open. Sheldon has jammed it with a chair from the other side] What the hell!
- Sheldon: We're taught that hard work pays off, but that's not true. I came up with a solution to save Earth from killer asteroids. And lost the science fair to Sue Ann Ludlow and her frizzy hair machine.
- [cut to Sue Ann in class, looking confused]
- Sheldon: But it wasn't just me who lost. We all lost. Wake up people! The system's broken!
- [cut to his brother, Georgie, looking embarrassed, in class]
- Sheldon: Real innovation isn't valued. Nowadays, it's all about flash and style. I blame MTV. Luckily, my parents can't afford cable.
- George Sr.: [cut to Sheldon's father, George Sr., in a hallway] I can afford it.
- Sheldon: [cut to principal's office, where Petersen is climbing out of his window to get to the secretary's office] I urge you all to rise up! They can't send everyone to the principal's office! Chew gum in class! Use a #1 pencil! Go nuts!
- Sheldon: [Principal Petersen is climbing in through the secretary's office window] This is Sheldon Lee Cooper, signing off! Live long and prosper!
- [runs out of office]
- Principal Petersen: You'd better run, you little punk!
- Missy: Maybe he'll learn to act normal.
- Mary Cooper: Maybe you should learn to act nice.
- Missy: You people don't get my sense of humor.
- Sheldon: [narrating] The science fair may be a competition, but when the goal is promoting knowledge, we're all winners.
- Principal Petersen: And the winner of the Medford High School Science Fair is... Sue Ann Ludlow!
- Sheldon: [loudly] You've got to be kidding me!
- Mary Cooper: Shelly!
- Sheldon: [yelling] You people are crazy!
- George Sr.: [sotto voce, while picking up Sheldon and carrying him out of the science fair] All right...
- Sheldon: You're celebrating mediocrity! Mediocrity! MEDIOCRITY!
- [Sheldon has been given the lead in his High School production of Annie]
- George Sr.: Wanna talk to you 'bout this play.
- Sheldon: I'm excited about it, too.
- George Sr.: Y'know, if you play the part of a girl, people might make fun of you.
- Sheldon: Mr. Lundy's trying to push the boundaries of drama in East Texas. One way to do that is cross-gender casting.
- George Sr.: Let me rephrase that. If you play the part of a girl, people *will* make fun of you.
- Sheldon: In Shakespeare's time, the men played all the female parts. No one made fun of it.
- George Sr.: If Shakespeare went to public High School, it'd be a different story.
- [after a discussion of both sides, it's clear Sheldon is determined to be Annie]
- George Sr.: Can you at least wear pants instead of a dress?
- Sheldon: I'll give you a definite 'maybe'.