Hazbin Hotel (TV Series)

Pilot (2019)

Dave Capdevielle: The Microphone

Quotes 

• [Charlie investigates a knock on the hotel door, opening to her shock to see Alastor] 

  Alastor : Hel-

  [Charlie slams the door. Processes for a moment then reopens] 

  Alastor : -lo!

  Charlie : [Charlie slams the door again]  Hey Vaggie?

  Vaggie : Whaat?

  Charlie : The Radio Demon is at the door!

  Vaggie : WHAT?

  Angel Dust : Uh, who?

  Charlie : What should I do?

  Vaggie : [scoffs]  Well, don't let him in!

  Alastor : [Charlie hesitates, but ends up opening the door]  May I speak now?

  Charlie : You may.

  Alastor : Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you, sweetheart! Quite a pleasure! Excuse my sudden visit but I saw your fiasco on the picture show, and I just couldn't resist! What the performance! Why I haven't been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929!

  [entertained laugh] 

  Alastor : So many orphans...

  Vaggie : [Holds up Alastor with a spear]  Stop right there! Cabrón hijo de perra! I know your game, and I'm not gonna let you hurt anyone here! You pompous, cheesy, talk show shitlord!

  Alastor : [lowering Vaggie's spear]  Dear, if I wanted to hurt anyone here...

  [turns demonic] 

  Alastor : ... I would had done so already.

  [returns to normal] 

  Alastor : No! I'm here because I want to help!

  Charlie : ...Say what now?

  Alastor : Help!

  [laughs] 

  Alastor : Hello? Is this thing on? Testing! Testing!

  [Alastor nudges his microphone staff] 

  The Microphone : Well I heard you loud and clear!