Family Guy (TV Series)

Petey IV (2017)

Alex Borstein: Lois Griffin

Quotes 

• Lois Griffin : Oh, my god. President Putin? What-what are you doing here?

  Vladimir Putin : Husband write me impertinent e-mail. Says any American can beat up any Russian. I am here to prove him wrong.

  Lois Griffin : You're gonna beat up my husband?

  Vladimir Putin : Unless he American chicken.

  Peter Griffin : Did you just call me... chicken?

  Vladimir Putin : Yes. Chicken.

  [flapping his arms] 

  Vladimir Putin : Fi-cray! Fi-cray! Fi-cray! Sound different in Russia.

  Peter Griffin : Nobody calls me... chicken. Outside, now.

• Lois Griffin : Okay, everybody, time to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house.

  Peter Griffin : They're dead.

  Lois Griffin : Not your grandparents, Peter. I'm talking about my parents.

  Peter Griffin : I hate going there. I'm not allowed to touch anything in their house. And besides, today's Dolph Lundgren's birthday, and me and the guys always celebrate it by watching "Rocky IV".

  Lois Griffin : Fine, we're probably better off without you. You always find a way to embarrass us at my parents'.

  Peter Griffin : [in an editing suite after a cutaway gag]  Hi. We're concerned that many of you "Family Guy" fans under 40 didn't get that reference, so I'm gonna take you through the actual commercial.

  [playing the real commercial for Polaner All Fruit preserve] 

  Peter Griffin : Okay, typical '80s stuffy brunch. Clearly the matriarch. She's got the most pearls. Weird sexual tension there. Okay, okay, watch. Here's where it all goes to hell. See? He called it jelly. See... all right, now, what I don't get is, if they know this guy, why are they surprised by the way he talks? Right? And if they don't know him, why is he at the table?

  [ending the tape] 

  Peter Griffin : Okay, now you have the information that would've made that funny had you had it going in.