Family Guy (TV Series)

Don't Be a Dickens at Christmas (2017)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Carter Pewterschmidt

Photos 

Quotes 

• Carter Pewterschmidt : All right, everyone. Grab your hot ciders and gather around the speaker phone. It's time to call *my* grandmother Nana Pewterschmidt.

  Nana Pewterschmidt : [in German]  Who is this?

  Carter Pewterschmidt : [in German]  Nana, it is Carter. Merry Christmas.

  Nana Pewterschmidt : [in German]  Merry Christmas.

  Carter Pewterschmidt : [in German]  I am here with Lois and her children, who send their love. How are you?

  Nana Pewterschmidt : [in German]  There are too many Jews in Brazil.

  Chris Griffin : What did she say?

  Carter Pewterschmidt : [looking uncomfortable]  She... wishes you a merry Christmas.

  Stewie Griffin : That's not what she said.

• Glenn Quagmire : Yeah Lois had to sell her clothes to get by. I mean I love having this underwear, I just... I just don't love why I have it.

• Peter Griffin : Well, I'm proud that all of my kids got into Ivy league puns, but what happened to Brian?

• Stewie Griffin : [after Peter's car has sideswiped the family with mud]  The Clam's on the other side of town. He went out of his way to do this.

• Peter Griffin : What about the kids? How are they doing?

  Patrick Swayze : See for yourself.

  Chris : All right, everybody, I'm off to Colombia!

  Peter : Chris got into Columbia?

  Chris : South America. Where I will attempt to smuggle drugs back into the country in my rectum.

  Peter : Ahh, I knew there was some kind of rug-pull coming.

  Meg : And I'm off to Yale!

  Peter : The lock maker?

  Meg : The lock maker. Where I have a minimum wage job.

  Peter : All right, okay, yeah I'm getting ahead of these.

  Stewie : [now overweight]  I'm going to Brown... four boxes of Jimmy Dean Pure Pork Sausage for my breakfast!

  Peter : Well I'm proud all my kids got into Ivy League puns.