Criminal Minds (TV Series)

Neon Terror (2017)

Kirsten Vangsness: Penelope Garcia

Quotes 

• Penelope Garcia : Not today, Satan!

• Emily Prentiss : [watching Rossi on TV]  Oh, good. We didn't miss it.

  Penelope Garcia : Nope, it just started.

  Luke Alvez : [entering with Matt and JJ]  We're up to our eyeballs in cases. The guy never takes a vacation. I want to know when he'd find the time to write another book.

  Jennifer Jareau : Someone must have put his mandatory six weeks off to good use.

  Matt Simmons : Anybody heard from Tara?

  Emily Prentiss : Oh, she's finishing up with Floyd Ferell. She'll be back in D.C. soon.

  Penelope Garcia : I'm DVRing this for her and Reid. They didn't want to miss it, either.

• Jennifer Jareau : Who is Quasar22?

  Penelope Garcia : That is an excellent question. I can tell you with a hundred percent certainty that it is not Kal Montgomery. His story completely checks out. Aside from being slightly morally repugnant, he's clean as a whistle. If that whistle was slightly morally repugnant.

  Matt Simmons : So that clears him. Why did the unsub target Kal to begin with?

  Emily Prentiss : Kal's ambitious. He must have known it, used it to his benefit.

  Matt Simmons : So he's smart enough not to expose himself, which is probably not easy for someone who's desperate for attention.

  Penelope Garcia : Also, I have to say whoever this is is, like, a tech wizard, because I have used all the tools in my fantastic box, and he's, like, protected from the mother on high of all encryption packages and a secure server, plus an IP scrambler, which is not like the warm, eggy kind but the computery kind.

  Emily Prentiss : So you've got nothing on the unsub's ID and location?

  Penelope Garcia : No. I mean, according to my screens, it's all coming from Jamaica; Kingston, to be exact. It does not take a profiler to know that's completely bogus.

• Penelope Garcia : You may be a wizard, but I am an oracle of the highest order

• Jennifer Jareau : [calls]  Hey, Garcia. I need you to check on an old case in Miami

  Penelope Garcia : Fingers at the ready