One of Us (IV) (2017) User Reviews

Very enlightening and utterly shocking

[pmpmn9 · 8/10 · 24 August 2018]

I thought I knew enough about Hasidic Judaism before watching this documentary, but it turns out I was very wrong. I cannot understand how the state of New York allows children to be provided with an inadequate education that is solely religious and leaves them so ignorant they are entirely unable to provide a living for themselves so that they become reliant on welfare as adults. This should never be acceptable. It makes breaking free all but impossible, which as far as I'm concerned, makes this particular religious community a cult. It leaves those born into it without choices and without the human rights guaranteed under the U.S. constitution.

I also cannot understand how these people can be allowed to have their own civil courts so that children can be handed over to an abusive parent who had his estranged wife run down by someone in a car who had been stalking her for months! Her only crime was that she was no longer willing to put up with the physical abuse of her children and herself by her husband and had him removed from her home with a restraining order. And who taught him to be physically abusive? No doubt it was his parents...it seems that physical abuse of children is what goes on in these communities. And sexual abuse of children is allowed to happen with impunity and the victims are never given or permitted to seek any kind of treatment or therapy, even as adults...they are left to think of it as their own fault and suffer in silence.

I think this documentary was long long overdue and I commend the three subjects for having the courage to tell their stories, especially Etty. As a parent and grandparent, I cannot even begin to imagine how painful her experience was to go through. I wish she could have sued the community in a state civil court on behalf of her children to protect them from their father's abuse. They deserve better. Children are nobody's property! They are human beings deserving of kindness, respect, and above all else, love!

Highly Recommended

[ilovemytribe · 8/10 · 26 October 2017]

Saw this film on Netflix. Gave it 8 stars. Not solely because of the story-line, editing, and production, but because of the bravery of the cast, crew, and producers in standing up against a community that is generations old to tell their story and risk their lives in doing so. Of course, there are bad apples in every religion, but when or how can physical spousal abuse or child sexual molestation ever be justified? How is it acceptable to turn a blind eye when children and women are being violated?? Hope more people see this film and hope more of these people ultimately get the support they need to break free.

A good insight

[saraccan · 7/10 · 7 October 2018]

Hasidic Judaism is an unknown topic to a lot of people so it was pretty informative for me. We see how ridiculously backwards these guys' lives are in one of the most modern cities in the world.

It's an interesting documentary about 3 brave people who decided to walk away from the Hasidic Jewish community and talk about how they are struggling with the "outside" life.

An intimate view of community rejection.

[stevelomas-69401 · 7/10 · 13 April 2020]

A powerful and personal portrait of ostracism from a community. The documentary itself is a standard format but it's what it reveals about the inner workings of a defensive an insular group that is so affecting. No matter the reason or history I can't agree with how Ety was treated by those she used to belong to.

Great job of raising awareness tho needs more context

[winedivanyc · 6/10 · 29 October 2017]

The film does an excellent job of drawing the viewers into the characters who are brave to share their horrific stories. That said the movie left me feeling short - what happened to the characters? where do we go from here?

Also, the film only depicts the Satmar Chassidic sects, one of many and the most insular. Some such as the Lubavitch value community outreach and sponsor Chabad as a house of worship that welcomes all Jews.

To the gentleman reviewer who said that Chassidic customs date back to Moses is plain wrong. The Chassidic movement started in 18th century Europe and the outfits the men wore (and still do) were designed to mock the European nobility of that time. Many of the customs such as women shaving their hair have nothing to do with Jewish law, and American Reform/Conservative Judaic practices do not erase "99%" of Jewish observances. Furthermore, not all Orthodox are Chassidic and most Jews are not orthodox...and so it goes.

We Jews come in different shapes, sizes and have varying degrees of observance. It is unfortunate that there are some awfully bad eggs.

Excellent insight

[matthijsalexander · 7/10 · 12 November 2017]

Its very difficult to not have an opinion about Hessidic Jews or any religion that seems a wee bit off when it comes to behaviorism. If you didn't have an opinion, watch 'on of us' and you will have one on Hessidic Jews.

Forget the clothing and the side-burn-decorations and the wacky hats, that all doesn't really matter. Nothing wrong with having an identity.

What matters is the seemingly backward way of thinking and living. My first though was 'this equals Wahabbi-ism and is no different, if not worse, than sharia'.

One of Us offers great insight in the life of Hessidic Jews and the hardship, mental abuse and Neanderthal-ways those borne into this religion have to endure.

Powerful, heartbreaking, compelling

[jahaugh · 10/10 · 20 October 2017]

I just want to say first and foremost that I am in awe of the three featured individuals. Etty, Luzer, and Arye/Ari are former members of Brooklyn's Hasidic Jewish community who, for various reasons, and out of varying degrees of excruciating horror or sadness, have chosen to leave the only community they've ever known—a community that eschews formal education, job skill-building, or co-mingling with a 21st-century secular world. In effect, by choosing to use the Internet or eat cheeseburgers or enter a public library, formerly Hasidic Jews in New York face complete isolation and ostracism.

All three stories are heartbreaking in their own ways, and each person was heroic in their willingness to challenge and question a system that does not celebrate America's "rugged individualism." It's no doubt hard for many of us in the secular world to grasp just how complicated it may be to confront such a world. But the real heroism is within Etty, an extraordinarily articulate woman with such steely resolve and fierce affection for her seven children by an abusive husband she barely knew before marrying. It's a mystery how she became so strong, especially given what happens during the course of the film, but she deserves a standing ovation for never losing sight of her principles and her humanity.

Beautifully shot and scored, this film is a thoughtfully constructed and deeply humane exploration of the role of the American Hasidic community in the wake of the Holocaust. I hope there is a follow-up film from the same creators.

Interesting and informative

[cameroncoombe · 7/10 · 22 April 2020]

A short look at a Hassidic community in Brooklyn, mostly through the lenses of three different people who have left the community. A common theme of ostracisim emerges, in addition to some explicit abuse. There is some effort made to hear from those in the community, though this largely behind-the-scenes and the overall feel is largely condemnatory. Of course, that is warranted considering the stories of those who have left. It would have been good to also hear from more who actively take part in and believe in the lifestyle. But perhaps I'm asking too much of a single documentary. Nonetheless, I would recommend.

Must watch

[elkerweiss · 10/10 · 23 October 2017]

This documentary was life changing for me. It made me realize how lucky I am to be free of a world that made me so sad.

And how easy I had it compared to others who left religion.

Seeing the violence inflicted on Etty made me sick to my stomach.

Seeing the community be willing to give her kids to a man who beat them because better they be battered religiously than be secular made me sick.

Seeing the blacked out faces of little girls made me nauseous.

Hearing how she was stalked and assaulted and how the community spied on her and ruined her life made me hatefully angry.

Honestly, I can't believe we allow this in the US. We shouldn't.

All religious communities need sunlight like this, this movie is a wake up call and worth seeing by everyone, but especially members of the community who need to clean up what is happening.

Not Quite as compelling as you know it could be

[julianhappen · 6/10 · 30 December 2023]

Definitely worth a watch and overall, there are many interesting bits. You kind of feel dragged through a prescrptive, doctrine of having to depict a certain number of characters in a documentary in a certain manner.

Overall, the film is best when it shows us true insights, but it too often feels maudlin and sentimental, in drawn out slowed down camera shots that don't add that much to our understanding of these people.

And at the end of it, you don't feel to have gone too much into the nitty gritty, more just the outward politics of the hasidic Jews and their philosophies. Sure, there is an attempt to show the inner struggle of the main characters, but it comes off leaving the viewer in a limbo, perhaps where you could consider the main characters to be.

This film doesn't have the emotional reach as it thinks it has perhaps, and so falls short on educating and leaving us with anything much but a cloudy, uncertain mood. Still, it is worth a view for the little insights and moments, which come and go all too quickly.

Powerful & heartbreaking

[sabus_sa · 10/10 · 13 October 2018]

My heart goes out to these people. As a mother my heart breaks for the mother and her children. I also feel sad for what happened to the young man who was raped. It so sad to feel that you have no voice. That you cannot speak out against oppression for fear that you would lose everything. You're the victims and yet you are outcast. My heart goes out to you all. Very moving show. Thank you for sharing your truths. I know it must've been very hard. I pray that your children come to you when they grow up, and know that you did everything you could to be with them and keep them safe.

A far side of Judaism

[manugw · 6/10 · 2 May 2020]

Good testimonial, but too attached only to show the dogma and burdensome restrictions made by a single New York Orthodox community that has survived the Holocaust. I wonder how the ostracized Jewish Ultra Orthodox reconcile isolation from the world, even the access to the Internet, with the key Jewish motto "Tikkum Olam" fixing the world which demands total involvement to benefit others no matter Jewish or Gentile. Not all their bethren behaves this way neither in Israel, the US nor around the world

Cinematically, it's a hatchet job

[Nozz · 2/10 · 16 November 2017]

Without challenging the truth of the sad stories the movie tells, I still think it went overboard in the cinematic tricks that make the Hassidim look an alien peril-- photographing them from the back or in far-off groups as if they are too frightening to be approached, or showing fractions of their faces, or showing them moving quickly while the soundtrack plays slow, ominous music. The movie could have made its point-- to the extent that its point is legitimate-- without such techniques of audience manipulation. And the manipulation would be less distressing if the documentary were merely one among a large number of competing sympathetic and unsympathetic portrayals of Hassidism. As is, this is likely to be the only view of Hassidism many people receive, at least this year, and it will leave them with an imbalanced impression. Who would guess, after seeing these stories, that there are also people who willingly join the Hassidic movement without being born or brainwashed into it?

Great insight!!!

[kaustuvbricks · 7/10 · 18 December 2023]

I sat down to watch this on Netflix without having any idea about this particular community and after watching this documentary I have learnt a-lot about this community (still a lot learning to do). Not a whole lot of people around the world know about this community and how they function so this documentary could serve as a great source material to educate and aware the masses about this community and what one has to go through if they leave the community. I would definitely recommend to watch this documentary as you learn something new about a particular community. This documentary really does well in shedding light about this community!!!

Hit & run case

[aljasser12 · 6/10 · 13 February 2023]

I'm a muslim & I believe that the leftist & liberals are trying too hard to point out any problems & mistakes in everyone who's different than them or doesn't match their views & ideology, even if they have the same problems & issues hidden, & bigger

So when Ari talked about how they treated him or outsiders in general.. well look at any liberal or atheist community & you will find the same example, look at the transgender who appears with matt walsh at "what is a woman" & how the LGBTQ community treated him! With death threats of course, look at who defended him & how they have been treated as traitors.. & that's gose for every community & group of people you can think of

& about the community not answering deep questions.. i think that's actually a good way to differentiate between believers & unbelievers.

Amazing, Real, and Raw.

[mountainguy-47502 · 10/10 · 23 October 2017]

Firstly, this documentary had excellent music in it... I grew up in a Pentecostal Christian Church which is kind of the equivalent of Hasidism. I know EXACTLY what these people are going through and their stories need to be told. This documentary captures the lack of humanity when an insulated community isolates people who break their rules.

Well made but sad because these folks are so helpless

[planktonrules · 9/10 · 24 October 2017]

"One of Us" is a documentary about some folks who have become disenchanted with the Hessidic Jewish community...a group in which blind obedience is expected. For example, one lady was horribly abused by her Hessidic husband...but the community has banded together to fight her in her attempt to retain custody of her kids. Another was raped at a Hessidic camp as a child...and left because the community refused to take any action and the pedophile is still apparently in this position! Another discontended man is shown...a man who had to literally walk away from his wife and kids because he was not willing to blindly follow the group's every requirement...such as not reading books, using the internet or having anything else to do with the outside world. The way the community work together to suppress these folks and disempower them is frightening...especially since local government (New York City) seems unwilling to deal with the physical and sexual abuse and the abuse of custody laws. Overall, a very sad and depressing documentary that should be seen...as it shows a side of America that seems, well, un-American.

A great insight into a cult

[rusty-61689 · 10/10 · 20 September 2018]

Straight out cult controlling the information in and out. Just like many cults it seems the womens rights are non existent. Its outright criminal to control any human being , deny education and basic living freedoms. USA is the heart of backwards in many ways. This cult should be shut down as it is not any part of multiculturalism.

Great look inside stories that should be heard. However,it is very incorrect in basic facts which for a documentary are real make it or break it.

[lovegodhope · 4/10 · 16 November 2017]

Great look inside stories that should be heard. However,it is very incorrect in basic facts which for a documentary are real make it or break it. It is a beautiful look into the lives of those who are struggling inside and out some of the most ultra hasidic communities. However the information provided about the hasidic world,sectors,groups and all aspects of their lives, Religion views of each of these groups and so on are simply not correct. Aside from this influencing the stories of those who should be heard,it also gives a very unrealistic vibe for anyone with knowledge about the Jewish world. Wrapping up dozens of different hasidic communities into the the term "hasidic world" "views" or even "religious laws" is poor reasearch and/or understanding at best if not tendentious. And that's what makes a dacumentry good or bad. Seeing as this is a documentary,well,it's pretty bad. Perhaps calling it "Leaving the Satmar world" (a cult like hasidic sect) Which according to the stories they all indeed were part of,would make this a 10 star review.

First watch "Unorthodox"

[meli_na_cy · 9/10 · 23 April 2020]

You must first watch "Unorthodox" if you don't have ANY idea about the ultra orthodox Jewish community. What I always say is that the holocaust was the worst thing that EVER happened to this planet. I'm obsessed with that . I watch all the films , read a lot of book of survivors and also visited Auschwitz. Everytime my heart is broken. The most heartbreaking event made by people . I'm a Greek Orthodox Christian but i love all people no matter of their religion. We are all people. If im giving my view on the ultra orthodox Jewish community is that it's too much. It seems they can't leave behind what happened. I not saying to forgot , no one will EVER forgot what happened, but to live the future with no fear and no hiding. I'm really sorry .. this is what I see. People afraid to live like they used too because they fear the more they involve in the modern world then more chances are that something horrific will happen again . But then I remember the holocaust.. Can anyone blame them ?

Eye opening

[debig-03023 · 8/10 · 4 July 2021]

This documentary made me furious! And incredibly sad that in this day and age the men of this religion are so protected and the women are just incubators.

Disturbing and harrowing, especially the complete failure to address child sexual abuse.

Can you get out?

[benmeijereft · 9/10 · 30 August 2018]

One of Us

"Born into the Straightjacket" could have been the title.

This documentary on the lives of three people who decide to leave the Chassidic community, and how hard that was....is heart breaking. How fair is this to the victims, those that want to leave? We can feel strongly, but is that enough to dare to question, and how much?

Seeing that made me realize again how strongly I am for Anabaptism, (only baptize when you are grown up) you don't get to baptize kids, being born into a religion is very close to abuse by definition. You cannot see, compare, choose. There is no choice, and this is very unfair.

Also, the movie shows other dark sides to religion so strongly, I think most people who watch this will get the feeling that religion is like a cancer.

When the motivation to preserve a faith takes such a toll, and neglects the rights of those who may want to make different choices, the real value is demeaned, and is it is shown to be a prison or maybe we should call it a cancer?

Religion may help people to feel like they belong, and it may help wih the fear of ding, but at this documentary shows the true cost, religon is damaging.

A poor excuse for a "Documentary"

[your-lord-jesus-h-christ · 1/10 · 14 March 2018]

It will be difficult for me to find the right words to express my anger and dismay at Grady & Ewing and the message they sent with this film. While everything in the film is 100% truth, the lens through which these facts are presented was so narrow that it completely skews the realities of life and relationships in the many and varied Ultra Orthodox communities.

For starters, what exactly does "ultra" Orthodox mean? There are so many unique and different movements within the general category of Hasidim, yet none of that is explained in the film. Satmar, Bostoner, Haredi, Chabad...the list goes on. Some ostracize members who leave or stop leading a halachic life, but most do not and to use so few examples, like the story of Etty, whose husband was undoubtedly mentally ill, as an implied baseline of "this is what to expect" is just irresponsible.

I was shocked to find that almost 100% of the court paperwork and appearances were not here. The decision from the judge (as presented in the film) flies in the face of almost all New York State Court decisions. Something weird that was not in the film must have occurred for her to not get custody. This was completely cut.

I personally have at least a dozen friends who have abandoned their Hasidic upbringing with none of the issues brought up in the film and most still quite close to their families. As a Jew that was brought up Reform, has lived in Israel and New York and now aligns with the "ultra-orthodox" Chabad movement, (the largest of all the Hasidic groups,) I can tell you quite matter of factly that the ostracization and evil behaviors portrayed in this film are not anything you will find in 95% of orthodox communities. I am not saying it does not happen, but compared to lets say Catholics or Mormons, there are a much greater percentage of happy families.

I've made my point. Thanks.

Broke my heart

[AJ_McAninch · 8/10 · 1 August 2021]

The film is very well-made of course by sensitive people. It is not a criticism so much of the Hasidic sect as it is revelation of the treatment of men, women, and children who do not fit into the sect and have no protection basically.

An important story!

[kenjets · 10/10 · 23 October 2017]

I have read several books on this topic, and each time I start "one of these books" (With two notable exceptions) I close it in sheer disgust. The story-line can always be summed up as "my excuse for leaving and why it's all your fault". A reasonable person might wonder why I cannot resist reading such books, and apparently watching this movie at 2:00AM. The simple answer is, that I am half a generation older than the authors, yet quietly, before it became popular to rebel, walked my path in silence and anonymity, away from the hell of my youth, to the lonely abyss of my adulthood. (Unfinished business) To be clear I was not raised a Chosid. just a simple "Yeshivish Jewish man". Several have suggested I pen my story. I do not intend to, as I do not think myself capable of an unbiased presentation. I love my creator, yet I struggle to keep some of the mitzvot. Daily I make an effort to turn my will and my life over to god, but can never entirely shake some of the chains of my youth. Religion still leaves a sour taste in my mouth… getting better daily... Enough about me!!!

The reason for this review is that in my opinion, this movie is FAIR, presenting both the beauty of the orthodox community life, and the underbelly of abuse that permeates through our society, made all the worse, by the "god complex" of SOME rabbis. Most importantly the movie does not make excuses. Even Ari who was clearly traumatized by being molested, does not use this childhood occurrence as an excuse for his future choices. One must be a fool not to realize the obvious correlation, as a reason for his life choices, yet his character conveys strength and indicates that the betrayal of youth need not be permanent. An important lesson for all from any walk of life.

Orthodox Judaism is a great privilege and in my mind, produces many of the greatest people on the face of this earth. Most religious Jews are kind, many are very generous, some are super honest, with a few acquiring extreme intelligence. The system is not broken, but it does require adjustments. Halacha has always been based on majority opinion. A majority of one only works for God. Absolute power corrupts, and no man should have that kind of power over any group of people. (We are a religion not a cult) The second perhaps more important lesson I took from this movie is that we ought to love "Hitlers Jew". The fuhrer, may he continue to suffer in extreme pain for all eternity, did not dismiss any Jew based on how religious they were or were not, and neither should we. I choose to try and support and love all Jews (All people really) and always avoid judging the individual. (Actions can certainly be judged) This is an important story with excellent lessons and I highly recommend watching it. Wishing success, and serenity to Luzer, Etty and Ari!