Doctor Who (TV Series)

Twice Upon a Time (2017)

Peter Capaldi: The Doctor

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Quotes 

• Twelfth Doctor : Oh. There it is. Silly old universe. The more I save it, the more it needs saving. It's a treadmill.

  [the TARDIS makes soft chirping noises to the Doctor] 

  Twelfth Doctor : Yes, yes I know. They'll get it all wrong without me.

  [pauses] 

  Twelfth Doctor : Well... I suppose one more lifetime won't kill anyone. Well... except me.

  [looks down at his hand, glowing with regeneration energy, then wearily looks back up at the TARDIS] 

  Twelfth Doctor : You wait a moment, Doctor. Let's get it right. I've got a few things to say to you. Basic stuff first: Never be cruel, never be cowardly, and never ever eat pears! Remember, hate is always foolish, but love is always wise. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind. Oh. And you mustn't tell anyone your name.

  [smiles to himself] 

  Twelfth Doctor : No one would understand it, anyway! Except...

  [cries out suddenly in pain, crumples to the ground, gasps for breath] 

  Twelfth Doctor : Except... children. Children can hear it sometimes, if their hearts are in the right place, and the stars are too. Children can hear your name. But nobody else.

  [slowly and painfully rises back up to his feet] 

  Twelfth Doctor : Nobody else. EVER.

  [stands up, tall and proudly] 

  Twelfth Doctor : Laugh hard. Run fast. BE KIND.

  [a pause, then softly] 

  Twelfth Doctor : Doctor, I let you go.

• First Doctor : [the Twelfth Doctor holds up his right hand to the First Doctor, which is glowing with regeneration energy that he is suppressing]  You are me? No! No!

  Twelfth Doctor : Yes, yes, I'm very much afraid so.

  First Doctor : Do I... become you?

  Twelfth Doctor : Well, there's a few false starts, but you get there in the end.

  [smiles broadly] 

  First Doctor : But I thought...

  Twelfth Doctor : What?

  First Doctor : Well. I assumed, I'd get... younger.

  Twelfth Doctor : [deeply insulted]  I am younger!

• Twelfth Doctor : Well I suppose one more lifetime won't kill anyone... well, except me.

• Bill : [to the Twelfth Doctor]  You're a stupid bloody arse!

  First Doctor : If I hear any more language like that from you, young lady, you're in for a golly good smacked bottom.

  [he leaves] 

  Twelfth Doctor : [embarrassed]  Can we just pretend that that never happened?

  Bill : I'm a broad-minded girl. I mean, I know we have this whole professor-student thing going on, but...

  Twelfth Doctor : Can we just never, ever talk about this again?

  Bill : I hope we talk about it loads.

  [chuckles] 

  Bill : I hope we spend years laughing about it. Come back alive!

• The Captain : Is this madness? Am I going mad?

  Twelfth Doctor : Madness? Well, you're an officer from World War One at the South Pole, being pursued by an alien through frozen time. Madness was never this good.

  The Captain : World War One?

  Twelfth Doctor : Judging by the uniform, yes.

  The Captain : Yes, but what do you mean... one?

  Twelfth Doctor : Oh... sorry. Spoilers.

• Twelfth Doctor : Oh! It's not an evil plan! I - I don't really know what to do when it isn't an evil plan!

• Twelfth Doctor : A life this long, do you understand what it is? It's a battlefield like this one and its empty, because everyone else has fallen.

• The Captain : Who are you people?

  First Doctor : I am the Doctor and this is my...

  Twelfth Doctor : It's complicated, actually I am also...

  First Doctor : ...my nurse.

  Twelfth Doctor : Excuse me?

  First Doctor : I realize that seems a little improbable...

  Twelfth Doctor : Well, yes.

  First Doctor : ...because he is a man!

  Twelfth Doctor : What?

  First Doctor : Older gentlemen, like women, can be put to use.

  Twelfth Doctor : You can't say things like that.

  First Doctor : Can't I? Says who?

  Twelfth Doctor : Just about everyone you're gonna meet for the rest of your life.

• Twelfth Doctor : Pity, no stars. I'd hoped there'd be stars.