Mom (TV Series)

A Few Thongs and a Hawaiian Funeral (2017)

Missi Pyle: Natasha

Quotes 

• Christy : Right now your brain is still in detox, which means every single thing you're thinking is wrong or bad.

  Natasha : Yeah but...

  Christy : Wrong!

  Natasha : I think I get...

  Christy : Bad!

  Natasha : You're not even listening to...

  Christy : Wrong! And if you keep it up, I might throw in 'stupid' too.

• Natasha : I was in my room singing, you know, warming up my vocal chords, and my meth head roommate bit me!

  [holds up bandaged hand] 

  Christy : Just your luck you find a meth head with teeth.

  Natasha : I know, right? Story of my life!

• Christy : Should we be talking about this right now?

  Natasha : Oh it's okay, she knows her mama was a stripper.

  Emily : I learned my numbers by counting singles.

• Christy : Here's where you write down the names of everyone that did you wrong, and here's where you write what they did, and the most important part, the role that *you* played in it.

  Natasha : But, I didn't do anything.

  Christy : Really, Natasha? You're in rehab, your child is in foster care, and a meth head bit you on your punching hand. Are you *sure* you didn't have anything to do with it?

• Natasha : I'm in good hands with Bambi here.

  Jill Kendall : Bambi?

  Christy : It was my stripper name.

  Jill Kendall : You named yourself after a baby deer who saw his mother get her head blown off?

  Christy : ...I had the big eyes.

• Jill Kendall : I remember when I was in rehab, I felt so lonely and scared and just wanted to drink all the time.

  Natasha : You've been in rehab?

  Christy : Yep, and look at her now, she hasn't driven a Maserati into a storefront for 3 whole years!

• Christy : So how're you liking sobriety?

  Natasha : [laughs]  Come on, Christy, nobody *likes* being sober.

  Christy : Well, I do. I've been sober for 4 years and now I'm going to law school.

• Jill Kendall : Here you go, Natasha, we got you some sugary snacks, you should be able to trade those for cigarettes.

  Natasha : Thanks.

  [to Emily] 

  Natasha : Hey baby, Christy's gonna help me get out of here so we can move to LA.

  Jill Kendall : [forced smile]  I'm sorry, how long we were gone?