The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Geology Methodology (2017)
Kunal Nayyar: Raj Koothrappali
Photos
Quotes
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Ruchi : Are you sure you're okay with this?
Raj Koothrappali : Honestly, Ruchi, I don't have a lot of experience with casual relationships. I have some experience with serious relationships and a ton of experience with no relationships.
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Raj Koothrappali : I mean, Ruchi's nice. We're just so different.
Howard Wolowitz : I know. Sometimes when you're dating, you meet weird people. I once met a girl who didn't like juggling.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : And she still doesn't.
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Raj Koothrappali : Hey, uh, who's free tonight?
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, I think I'm...
Sheldon Cooper : Hang on. We've made this mistake before. It's how we wound up at his cousin Deepak's Tupperware party.
Raj Koothrappali : Hey, you use that collapsible bowl all the time, and you know it. And it's not like that. I just thought we could, you know, hang out and go to a bar.
Leonard Hofstadter : Sure.
Sheldon Cooper : Very well.
Howard Wolowitz : Sounds fun.
Raj Koothrappali : And watch cricket.
Howard Wolowitz : That sound you hear? Ironically, crickets.
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Raj Koothrappali : So Ruchi and I decided to keep things casual.
[Penny lets out a scoffing laugh]
Raj Koothrappali : What? What? I can handle casual.
Penny Hofstadter : [with another derisive laugh] Oh...
Raj Koothrappali : Why do you keep doing that with your face?
Penny Hofstadter : Because you keep saying stupid things with yours.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : So you're not gonna see her again?
Raj Koothrappali : What's the point? We're never gonna be in a real relationship.
Howard Wolowitz : Right, so you'll only be in a physical one?
Raj Koothrappali : Exactly. Why would I want to spend time with someone like that?
Howard Wolowitz : Someone who is just interested in sex?
Raj Koothrappali : Yeah.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Raj, do you real...
Howard Wolowitz : Whoa, hold on. Give him a chance. He's gonna get this.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [seeing Raj's blank expression] I don't think he is.
Raj Koothrappali : What is there to get? She doesn't want to fall in love. At that point, all we are is two single people who find each other attractive and enjoy having...
[realization dawns on him]
Raj Koothrappali : Oh, got to go!
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Bert Kibbler : Sheldon, I've got these four billion year old meteorites. I thought maybe they'd show signs of neutrino interactions. I could really use someone like you to help me with the math.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, so they would act as natural dark matter detectors.
Raj Koothrappali : That sounds interesting.
Sheldon Cooper : It does, but it's still geology. Sorry, Bert, I don't have time to play rocks with you.
Bert Kibbler : I'm not asking you to play rocks. I'm asking you to collaborate on a research project. Although, if there's time, I guess we could play a round of "zinc, zinc, piece of quartz".
Howard Wolowitz : Does sound better than cricket.
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Howard Wolowitz : I don't get how you can enjoy cricket. It makes no sense.
Raj Koothrappali : Did you just come here to complain?
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah. That's the sport of my people.
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Howard Wolowitz : Hey, I think that's Bernadette's friend over there.
Raj Koothrappali : Oh, yeah. Hey, Ruchi!
[as she approaches]
Raj Koothrappali : I-I hope this isn't awkward. The last time we met, I kind of embarassed myself.
Howard Wolowitz : Let's see if you can go two for two.
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Stuart Bloom : So, you and Ruchi?
Raj Koothrappali : Yeah, I'm sorry. I know you liked her, too, but we just bumped into each other last night and hit it off.
Stuart Bloom : No, that's fine. You're my friend and I'm happy for you.
Raj Koothrappali : Oh, thank you, Stuart.
Stuart Bloom : Plus, I don't know how you're gonna screw it up, but I know you will.
Raj Koothrappali : What's there to screw up? She just wants to keep things casual.
Stuart Bloom : Oh, great. That's how you're gonna screw it up.
Raj Koothrappali : Hey, I can be casual.
Stuart Bloom : Mm-hmm. I should get a haircut; this thing's going south fast.
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Raj Koothrappali : Okay, fine. I'm not great at casual relationships, and I don't want to scare her off.
Penny Hofstadter : All right, just give her some space, all right? Don't call, don't text, don't e-mail.
Raj Koothrappali : That's crazy. What if I see a sunset that reminds me of her?
Penny Hofstadter : All right, when do you see her next?
Raj Koothrappali : Uh, we're having dinner tonight.
Penny Hofstadter : Okay. Put a rubber band around your wrist, and any time you start planning your wedding or naming your children, I want you to stab yourself in the hand with a fork.
Raj Koothrappali : What's the rubber band for?
Penny Hofstadter : To slow the bleeding.
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Howard Wolowitz : So, how was your night with Ruchi?
Raj Koothrappali : Oh, great. We ordered in some food, we had sex, I left. I didn't even ask if she enjoyed it.
Howard Wolowitz : I can field that one for her.
Raj Koothrappali : I mean, I did get a little misty when we said goodbye, but I played it off as allergies. I don't know if she bought it.
Howard Wolowitz : Again, I know.
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Ruchi : What people call "love" is actually a series of biochemical reactions in the brain that fade over time.
Raj Koothrappali : Yes. Like the old song, "When a man has a biochemical reaction for a woman."
Ruchi : Raj, we're scientists. We don't need to feel threatened just because we understand the mechanisms that give rise to romantic feelings.
Raj Koothrappali : It doesn't take anything away from the experience. Yes, it does. Actually, it takes everything away from it. Love isn't just science. It's-it's spiritual. It's an acknowledgment of a mystery that's greater than ourselves. It's what makes people write songs and poems, and what has kept "The Bachelor" on TV for 21 magical seasons.
Ruchi : Don't you think the fact that love is given away as a prize on a game show slightly undermines your argument?
Raj Koothrappali : Uh, yes. But I've never missed an episode, and I dare science to explain that.