- Sheldon Cooper: [He and Amy are still lying on the bed sick from the frontier dinner] Uh oh!
- Amy Farrah Fowler: What?
- Sheldon Cooper: I left the food out.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You afraid it's gonna go *good*?
- Sheldon Cooper: [after finishing their frontier dinner as part of Amy's "Little House on the Prairie" themed birthday] So, can I get you anything else?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [Clearly looking stuffed] No thanks, I think I'm good.
- Sheldon Cooper: You sure? There's still plenty of pork fat. Although if we don't eat it, I suppose we could turn it into soap.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: That might taste better.
- Howard Wolowitz: Well, this party's a disaster.
- Raj Koothrappali: Don't blame the party! You know how many favors I had to call in with my bounce house guy to get Wonder Woman?
- Howard Wolowitz: Is that Wonder Woman?
- Raj Koothrappali: Technically, it's a Chinese knockoff called Happy Strong Swimsuit Lady.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I know we only have sex on my birthday, but I don't think I can wait until midnight.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, you should. Everyone knows the best foreplay is rigid adherence to a strict schedule.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, I hope you're hungry.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Oh, I'm starving.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, good. Starvation is authentic to the time period. If you also have malaria and a deep distrust of Native Americans, we're really cooking with a woodstove.
- Sheldon Cooper: And after dinner comes the birthday coitus.
- Penny Hofstadter: Think that part will be historically accurate?
- Leonard Hofstadter: I'm sure like all aspects of frontier life, it will be exhausting and short.
- Sheldon Cooper: You're exhausting and short.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: My stomach's feeling a little weird.
- Sheldon Cooper: Me too. I'm sure it's just the first sharp cramps of arousal.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: This doesn't feel right.
- Sheldon Cooper: Hey, save that sexy talk for the bedroom. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go freshen up.
- [Runs to the bathroom and throws up]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon?
- Sheldon Cooper: I'll be out in a minute!
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I don't have a minute!
- [Runs over to the sink to throw up]
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, Stuart, two questions: Do you have the new Aquaman, and do you mind if I use your back room to smoke some meat?
- Stuart Bloom: Well, since it's you asking, I'm gonna guess that's not a euphemism.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Why are you smoking meat? And why are you reading Aquaman?
- Sheldon Cooper: I am trying to make Amy a historically accurate Little House on the Prairie dinner for her birthday, and I want to be able to say I was reading it before it was cool.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Wow, well, that's actually really sweet. The dinner thing. The Aquaman thing's dumb.
- Howard Wolowitz: I'm just saying, you're a adult, act like it.
- Raj Koothrappali: That's big talk for someone holding an Archie comic book.
- Howard Wolowitz: Hey, Werewolf Jughead isn't your father's Jughead.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Is that butter?
- Sheldon Cooper: Don't use it all on that biscuit, it took me nine hours to make that butter. I think I got churner's elbow.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Isn't Halley's birthday the same day as Amy's?
- Howard Wolowitz: Yes, but we're not making a big deal about it. Halley's one, Bernadette's on bedrest, and... I'm lazy.
- Howard Wolowitz: Turns out we are having a big birthday party for Halley because Bernadette and "anyone who isn't a heartless monster" thinks it's a good idea.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, I don't like children, but I do love birthday cake. Wait, will it have sweet frosting flowers on it?
- Howard Wolowitz: I don't know.
- Sheldon Cooper: Ah, I'll risk it. But if I throw a tantrum and leave in the middle of it, you'll know why.
- Sheldon Cooper: How are you feeling?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: My stomach aches, got the chills, my mouth tastes weird, it hurts to swallow, and I have a little double vision.
- Sheldon Cooper: Yeah. I"m feeling better too.
- Raj Koothrappali: I have a lot of party favors left over from Cinnamon's birthday so I hope she likes things that squeak when you chew on them.