The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Neonatal Nomenclature (2018)
Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
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Leonard Hofstadter : So, any day now.
Howard Wolowitz : Oh, I don't know. We went to the doctor this morning, and she said it could still be another week or two.
Raj Koothrappali : How's Bernadette holding up?
Howard Wolowitz : It's pretty rough. She's having a hard time.
Leonard Hofstadter : Why are you smiling?
Howard Wolowitz : I had sex twice last night.
Raj Koothrappali : That's not fair! She's on bed rest. She can't run away.
Howard Wolowitz : It was her idea. She read that it can start labor.
Raj Koothrappali : Hmm. Is that true?
Howard Wolowitz : Well, I would have Googled it, but I was busy taking my pants off.
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Sheldon Cooper : Guys, wake up. Terrible news.
Penny Hofstadter : Oh, my god. What, what, what? Is it the baby?
Sheldon Cooper : No. No, no, we miscalculated our unassigned armor class units. We need to start over.
Raj Koothrappali : What?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, no, no, no, not from the beginning. Just from when the tanks started moving.
Leonard Hofstadter : That was five hours ago.
Sheldon Cooper : [checking his watch] Mm, no. No, that was two hours ago. It only feels like five.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Hey, what'd you name him?
Howard Wolowitz : Neil Michael. Neil for Armstrong, Gaiman, and Diamond. Michael because Bernie had to get six stitches.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Neil, that's cute.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [off screen] But we're calling him Michael!
Howard Wolowitz : I'm not gonna fight her. That kid's head was the size of a cantaloupe.
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Sheldon Cooper : Not to brag, but Amy's last birthday brought my coital tally up to four.
Leonard Hofstadter : Whatever you're doing, it's not bragging.
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Amy Farrah Fowler : I've always liked the name Elliott.
Leonard Hofstadter : Sorry, can't have it. That's my boy name.
Amy Farrah Fowler : I said it first.
Leonard Hofstadter : It's not like calling dibs.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Yes, it is. It's exactly like that. Dibs on Elliott.
Leonard Hofstadter : I-I'm just saying we might get there first. You only have sex once a year. I'll probably have sex tonight.
[Penny gives him a weird look]
Leonard Hofstadter : Fine, you can have Elliott.
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Amy Farrah Fowler : Hey, guys.
Leonard Hofstadter , Howard Wolowitz , Raj Koothrappali : Hey.
Sheldon Cooper : Hey, I was just talking about you.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Oh, should I ask?
Leonard Hofstadter : You should not.
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Leonard Hofstadter : My mother believes that if you're not prepared mentally, it can delay your body from going into labor.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : So what are you trying to say? It's my fault?
Leonard Hofstadter : [dodging] Raj is crazy. Your ankles aren't that gross.
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Amy Farrah Fowler : What are you guys doing here?
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, Sheldon texted and said Bernadette wanted us all to come over.
Sheldon Cooper : [seeing her expression] The game's best with five to ten players.
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Raj Koothrappali : What about Sherman? Like, Sherman Wolowitz.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, that's a kid who's gonna take his mother to prom.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Hey, Howard, you did that, right?
Howard Wolowitz : I didn't take her. She chaperoned. We slow-danced once.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Some people name their kids after places.
Howard Wolowitz : Like what, Walla Walla Wolowitz?
Sheldon Cooper : If you think that is better than Ozymandias Wolowitz, then you have been breathing in the poisonous gas that my troops illegally dispersed.
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Penny Hofstadter : When did you pick out our kids' names?
Leonard Hofstadter : Remember that day you moved into the building?
Penny Hofstadter : Yes.
Leonard Hofstadter : A non-creepy amount of time after that.
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Amy Farrah Fowler : You've thought about our kids?
Sheldon Cooper : Of course. I think you and I will have exceptional children.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Aw. Well, I think so, too.
Raj Koothrappali : How many kids do you guys want?
Sheldon Cooper : Fifteen.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Two.
[giving him a weird look]
Amy Farrah Fowler : What?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, don't worry. I don't expect you to bear them all. I'm sure we can find a suitable uterus to rent.
Leonard Hofstadter : [they both turn to glance at Penny] No!
Penny Hofstadter : Uh-uh!