The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Monetary Insufficiency (2018)

Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter

Quotes 

• Leonard Hofstadter : [Looking at offers from Sheldon's Kickstarter campaign]  "For $50,000 I will examine your diet and create a customized bathroom schedule." That's fitting, 50 grand down the toilet.

• Sheldon Cooper : And for one million dollars, I will come over and tell you what's wrong with you.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Aw, and all these years, I've been getting that for free.

• [first lines] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : [they play videogame]  What are you doing?

  Sheldon Cooper : The light is red so I came to a stop.

  Leonard Hofstadter : You're in a stolen cop car with a dead hooker in the trunk. You don't have to obey traffic laws. I know I don't have to. The fun is choosing to.

  Howard Wolowitz : [he and Raj come in]  Hey. Missed you guys at the faculty mixer.

  Raj Koothrappali : Ah, you should have been there, dessert was bananas. Sorry, that was misleading. The dessert was pie, but the pie was bananas. Actually, the pie was cherry, but the taste of the pie was... bananas.

  Sheldon Cooper : Those mixers are such a waste of university money. If they spent less money on frivolous nonsense and more money on science, we'd all be better off.

  Howard Wolowitz : You're a theoretical physicist. What more do you need than an office and a whiteboard?

  Sheldon Cooper : Someday, my new formulas on entropy decrease due to quantum decoherence will need to be tested and that will require funding.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Your theories are pretty abstract. I wouldn't even know how to design an experiment to prove them.

  Sheldon Cooper : Says the experimental physicist!.. Well, I know a place the university can make some cuts. Bye, Leonard.

  Raj Koothrappali : One second, one second. He's got a point. In order to corroborate your string theory research, you'd have to create a black hole. Wouldn't that destroy the Earth?

  Sheldon Cooper : Perhaps, but we'd all go to the grave knowing I was right.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I guess you could create a contained microscopic black hole.

  Sheldon Cooper : Huh. Interesting. Welcome back, Leonard!

  [to Raj] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Sorry, you're out.

  Raj Koothrappali : What did I do?

  Sheldon Cooper : Exactly!