Schitt's Creek (TV Series)

Friends & Family (2017)

Dan Levy: David Rose

Photos 

Quotes 

• David Rose : Oh my god! Oh my god!

  'Back of the Line' Guy : Hey! Back of the line bro!

  Darlene's Cousin : Hey, NO CUTTING!

  David Rose : Excuse me? This is my store! Who are you?

  Darlene's Cousin : I'm Darlene's cousin! Who the fuck are you?

  David Rose : Oh my god! That kind of language folks will not be tolerated at the Rose Apothecary. This is supposed to be a safe place. A safe place.

  [Walking over to Patrick] 

  David Rose : So I just got verbally assaulted by an unsavory customer waiting in the line!

  Patrick Brewer : I've got a hand it to you, David. Who knew that you had that many friends or family members for that matter?

  David Rose : What are we going to do? I, for one, blame Gwen for this...

  Patrick Brewer : David, relax. You have nothing to worry about. just open the door.

  David Rose : Okay.

  Patrick Brewer : Softly now!

• David Rose : So, I wanted to talk to you guys about... oh.my.god!

  Johnny Rose : I know! We're still trying to find a place to hang it!

  David Rose : Did it grow? Can you cover it up with something?

  Moira Rose : I tried. The sheets don't fit.

  Johnny Rose : Can we help you son?

  David Rose : I just wanted to tell you that Patrick and I will be launching the store on Friday.

  Johnny Rose : Great news! A grand opening.

  David Rose : We're doing more of a soft launch.

  Moira Rose : I don't like the sound of that!

  David Rose : Why not? It's actually a very effective business strategy. And it's always better to go under!

  Moira Rose : Go under?

  [David says no!] 

  Moira Rose : David if the business is floundering it's best to tell us now!

  David Rose : When it comes to expectations it's always best to go under rather than over!

  Johnny Rose : I don't know if that's true son. Every Rose Video Store we opened had fireworks day or night. People love pizazz.

  David Rose : Well, we're doing the opposite of that. We're inviting a select group of V.I.P.s and offering a 25% friends and family discount.

  Moira Rose : Well, that sounds meek.

  Johnny Rose : Friends getting the same discount as family? That doesn't sound right.

  David Rose : Well, that's what we're doing.

  Johnny Rose : What if your mother and I bought things at the same time? Does that mean we get a 50% discount?

  David Rose : Why would you want to spend less money in my store?

  Moira Rose : David, we are happy to support this modest little vigil you're hosting but to hand out discounts before the store is even birthed seems a tad defeatist. I hope you don't mind if I keep this information to myself?

  David Rose : I don't want you to tell anybody about it. The fewer the better.

  Moira Rose : Rarely has that been a recipe for success!

  David Rose : I'm glad I came in here.

  Moira Rose : We love you!

  Johnny Rose : Keep on preaching son!