Batman and Harley Quinn (2017)

Kevin Conroy: Batman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Harley Quinn : [in the Batmobile, after picking a fight with Bobby Leibowitz]  Waited ten years to get that...

  [Batman keeps silencing her with his finger] 

  Harley Quinn : I was just... But... He...

  Batman : [pulls over]  Pull a stupid stunt like that again, and I'm dumping you off at the nearest police station.

  Harley Quinn : [very rebelliously]  Oh, big whoop. "You're living under my roof. You play by my rules." Is that it? Newsflash, gruesome. You ain't my dad!

  Batman : [appalled that Harley has just dared to talk back to him]  This isn't a game, Harley. I need you to stay focused on the job at hand.

  Harley Quinn : [still oblivious]  Focus-schmocus. You know, I'm starting to rethink this whole deal. Here I am, helping you guys out, pro bono, I might add, and you got to go and get all mega control-freaky on me. "Do this. Don't do that! Sit up straight. Brush after every meal. Don't bite your toenails. Keep your knees together when you're wearing a dress."

  Batman : [fed up with Harley's insults]  Harley! There are lives at stake.

  Harley Quinn : [resigned]  Oh, my God! Yeah, yeah, the whole world's gonna plotz. I get it. I get it. You think I'm just some dizzy airhead that don't know nothin'. Do you know what I am?

  Batman : My punishment for dropping out of med school.

• Harley Quinn : Harley Quinn reporting for duty, sir.

  Batman : God help us.

• Nightwing : [after Batman finds him in bed with Harley Quinn]  I was, uh, I was just about to call you.

  [Batman glances at the floor seeing a pile of Harley's clothes and underwear then sees that Nightwing had been strapped to the bed then gives him a dirty look] 

  Harley Quinn : [to Nightwing]  Meet you at the car

  [walks away happily humming to herself] 

  Batman : Did you get what you needed?

  Nightwing : [smiles while rubbing his head nervously]  Well yeah... Ivy's whereabouts of course that's what you meant, no not yet

  [Batman leaves giving him a disappointed look] 

  Nightwing : Like you never made out with a super villain

• Harley Quinn : [farts] 

  Nightwing : Ugh! Holy...

  Batman : It's not so bad. It smells like... discipline.

• [Batman, Harley and Nightwing are face to face with a mob of henchmen] 

  Rhino : You put a lotta our buddies in the slammer, Bat-fink! Only way you're gettin' outta here is in a black plastic bag with a zipper up the front!

  Cat Burglar #2 : A body bag!

  Rhino : He knows what it is!

  [Batman finishes his milk, then takes off his utility belt and throws it on the ground] 

  Batman : OK, boys, let's dance!

  [Cut to outside. Sounds of a fight with Batman '66 style sound effects "BREAK!", "BLEED!", "OW MY BALLS!"] 

• Nightwing : Where's your BFF Poison Ivy?

  Harley Quinn : I can help you find her, but you can put in a good word for me for the parole board.

  Batman : Hmm. No.