The Beach Bum (2019)

Martin Lawrence: Captain Wack

Quotes 

• Captain Wack : Shit, man. Now I gotta feed my coke-addicted parrot.

• Moondog : Now, what he failed to mention, that these dolphins have got a sort of corkscrew pecker. Alright. A little, whippy, winding ranky-cank thing.

  Captain Wack : It's true, kids. It's sort of like a corkscrew.

  Moondog : So keep a look out.

  Captain Wack : And it's orgy season. So hopefully, we will get to see something, some real wild stuff.

  Moondog : Everybody's fucking, they're really horny this time of the season.

• Captain Wack : I only had four deaths on my watch.

  Moondog : Only four?

  Captain Wack : Four deaths in over eight straight years of dolphin touring. It's a terrific record. Now, I've been stripped of my license temporarily on five separate occasions but each time, I get it reinstated due to a technicality I never quite understood.

• Captain Wack : Don't fuck with Captain Wack. You will get whacked for fucking with Captain Wack.

• Captain Wack : It's prime mating season. Seaweed is an aphrodisiac.

• Captain Wack : It is beyond luck. Karma, man, I'm blessed, bro.

  Moondog : Meant to be.

• Captain Wack : Dolphins, man. I love those fuckin' dolphins, man. The sounds that come out of their mouth. They're tryin' to communicate with you. All you gotta do is talk back to 'em. I fell in love with dolphins ever since I saw the show "Flipper". Blew me away.

• Captain Wack : Listen up, everybody. All right. We're in the middle of matin' season. If you see some humpin', don't look away. It's cool lookin'. It's nature in all its glory. Dolphins love to bone.

• Moondog : I like your swagger, Captain.

  Captain Wack : Thanks, Moondog. Got nicked in 'Nam, makes me walk like a pimp. Some shrapnel partially shredded my nut sack, but everything still works. I'm still bangin'. Bop. Bop, bop, bop.

• Captain Wack : It's been real, Moondog.

  Moondog : It's been more than that. It's been whack, Captain Wack. See you down the road.