Criminal Minds (TV Series)

Assistance Is Futile (2017)

Kirsten Vangsness: Penelope Garcia

Photos 

Quotes 

• Luke Alvez : I need you to check out an address for me.

  Penelope Garcia : Sure. Shoot.

  Luke Alvez : 11637 Woodycrest Avenue. It's an apartment building in the Bronx. Any criminal activity that might relate to Danny White.

  Penelope Garcia : [typing]  Hold yourself. Searching now... just your garden variety vandalism, drug possession. Okay, it's all pretty standard for a condemned building.

  Luke Alvez : Wait, it's condemned?

  Penelope Garcia : Mm-hmm. Has been for months. It's scheduled to be demolished, but, uh... something's holding it up. Permit issue.

  Luke Alvez : Thanks, Garcia. You truly, you are the best.

  Penelope Garcia : Really?

  Luke Alvez : Available.

  [he hangs up, laughing to himself] 

  Penelope Garcia : [to herself in frustration]  Newbie!

• Penelope Garcia : What do you want, newbie?

  Luke Alvez : Still with that? Come on. You need some new material.

  Penelope Garcia : Okay, whatever you say... El Nuño. Hunky newster. New kid on the... no, that one's too much on the nose.

• Jennifer Jareau : So, I was thinking, this... this guy's M.O. is pretty sophisticated for a killer who's just started out. Maybe our first victim isn't his first victim. So I had Garcia compile a list of all the females with bone break injuries in New York City in the last three years.

  Penelope Garcia : We ruled out women over thirty, girls under eighteen, came up with... 112 names.

  Stephen Walker : Did any of them have drugs in their system, specifically MDMA?

  Penelope Garcia : Oh, so good, new guy, who doesn't feel new because your deep, baritone voice comforts me. The answer is yes. But not all of them were drug tested, so we only have two that we know for sure had MDMA on board.

  Emily Prentiss : Who are they?

  Jennifer Jareau : Well, there is one in particular that caught my eye.

  Penelope Garcia : Nancy Santiago. She was twenty-two, she was from Long Island, and she died after she fell off a rooftop during a rave almost a year ago.

  Luke Alvez : There any foul play?

  Penelope Garcia : Inconclusive. There was a thunderstorm that night, so the crime scene was compromised.

  Jennifer Jareau : The police report says two guys saw what they thought was a male/female couple having sex in the alley behind the rave. When those two guys spotted them, he took off, left the female behind. When they got closer, they saw the girl was actually dead.

  Penelope Garcia : The... the coroner said she had several broken bones from the fall, most notably a compound fracture, super serious, to her femur.

  David Rossi : Well, if there was sexual assault, do we really think that was our guy?

  Emily Prentiss : I want to know more. Send us everything you have on Nancy Santiago.

• Emily Prentiss : What have you got, Garcia?

  Penelope Garcia : I've got the 411 on that rave that Nancy Santiago was at the night she died. I've sent it all to your tablets. You can follow along if you wish. It is a roving EDM party called Reclamation, and according to their website, their mission is to, quote, "Bring light and rhythm to places long forgotten."

  David Rossi : Which means?

  Penelope Garcia : Uh, sir, that's the millennial way of saying "We have illegal parties in abandoned places."

• Jennifer Jareau : How's it going with the case? Everything okay with the girl they found?

  Penelope Garcia : Yeah, I don't know. She's still in surgery. Oh, how's boy wonder?

  Jennifer Jareau : He's good.

  Penelope Garcia : What? No, he must be terrible. What do you mean? Tell me everything. No, don't tell me everything. I don't want to know. No, of course I want to know. Tell me everything. Tell me everything.

  Jennifer Jareau : He can't stay in there. We gotta get him out.

  Penelope Garcia : [standing up and giving her a supportive hug]  Yeah. We will. We will. Come here. We'll get him out.