- [last lines]
- Penny Hofstadter: So, did you wind up sending that machine back?
- Sheldon Cooper: I did .Uh, I'm not even sure how accurate it was. I took it to the trains store; it said everyone was sad.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I finally got Halley to sleep.
- Penny Hofstadter: You know, I just read a study that suggests new mothers are better at sensing emotions for up to two years.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: It's true. Pregnancy causes physiological changes in the brain that result in increased empathy.
- Penny Hofstadter: Oh, so all we need to do is get Sheldon knocked up.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Can't. He was already fixed when I found him at the shelter.
- Sheldon Cooper: Hey, uh, Bernadette, let's test this theory. What do you think I'm feeling right now?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Let's .see. You're better than us, a little bit sorry for us, but mostly glad you don't have to be us.
- Sheldon Cooper: [to Howard] Keep filling this one with babies; she's good.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: You know, I just read that a team at MIT developed a device that helps people read human emotions.
- Leonard Hofstadter: And you think we can get those guys to reprogram Sheldon? Cool.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: It's supposed to be accurate like eighty-five percent of the time.
- Penny Hofstadter: Wow, I find that hard to believe.
- Leonard Hofstadter: That a bunch of awkward scientists with no social skills would invent a machine to do it for them?
- Penny Hofstadter: I take it back; I believe it.
- Penny Hofstadter: My brother's comin' out here in a few weeks.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, okay, sure. What's going on with your brother?
- Penny Hofstadter: My dad asked if I can get him a job interview at my work.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Is that a good idea? I mean, you think they'll consider someone who was in prison for selling drugs?
- Penny Hofstadter: Well, I sell pharmaceuticals. Which is just a really hard-to-spell word for drugs.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Well, I'm sure he'll appreciate carrying his samples in a briefcase instead of his colon.
- [first lines]
- Leonard Hofstadter: What's going on with that woman you're dating?
- Raj Koothrappali: I broke up with her.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Why?
- Raj Koothrappali: She said she didn't want to see me any more, and I found that insulting.
- Howard Wolowitz: .I thought things were going well; what happened?
- Raj Koothrappali: I don't know. She didn't even give me a reason
- Sheldon Cooper: That's not a problem; we can figure this out. What are the reasons women reject Raj?
- Raj Koothrappali: Can we not play this game?
- Sheldon Cooper: Doesn't like games: that's one.
- Penny Hofstadter: Hey, boys, .how's it going?
- Sheldon Cooper: I thought we were having a nice conversation. but it turns out I was being offensive
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: So, normal, hm?
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, I would prefer if people told me exactly what is on their mind.
- Penny Hofstadter: No, no, you don't; you really don't. I can't actually say don't enough
- Penny Hofstadter: Can you take a look at my brother's résumé? I'm trying to help him clean it up a little.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Sure. He really worked with the Drug Enforcement Agency?
- Penny Hofstadter: He didn't know it until he was cuffed, but yeah.
- Lucy: I'm Lucy and I broke up with Raj because I have severe social anxiety and he kept trying to force me into uncomfortable situations.
- Howard Wolowitz: Like ths one?
- Lucy: Yeah.
- Raj Koothrappali: I did that. I can be insensitive to other people's boundaries. Howard, will you write that down?
- Howard Wolowitz: Schmuck, got it.
- Raj Koothrappali: Maybe I won't settle down. Maybe I'll just play the field.
- Howard Wolowitz: The field was just here. The field said no,