- Señor Kaplan: I don't know what's happening with you, Tucker, but in my culture we call that "loco en la cabeza".
- Cameron Tucker: Will you cut it out? You're Canadian.
- Ray: The idiot across the hall left his door open.
- Jay Pritchett: That's my room!
- Ray: Then you're going to need this.
- [tosses Jay his pills]
- Mitchell Pritchett: Cam, don't you think with all this stuff about Fizbo, you might be seeing things?
- Cameron Tucker: Oh, so there's another person out there with purple hair and size 23 shoes? Maybe Dennis Rodman bowls here.
- Jay Pritchett: And why did you get me a triple-XL?
- Phil Dunphy: The lady said it'd shrink in the wash.
- Jay Pritchett: How's it gonna do in the trash?
- Phil Dunphy: Jay.
- Jay Pritchett: Kidding. I'll use it to wash my car.