Criminal Minds (TV Series)

Alpha Male (2017)

Kirsten Vangsness: Penelope Garcia

Quotes 

• Luke Alvez : [about Reid in jail]  What are we going to do?

  Penelope Garcia : Oh, Newbie, oh Newbie! I'm gonna tell you what we're gonna do. We're gonna send him letters, every day. We're gonna put money in his commissary account. We're going to sent him puzzles, magazines, books, whatever we can think of to make sure those gorgeous gears inside that boy-wonder brain are lubed up and in perfect working order. To keep us on track, I took the liberty of making a chart

  Dr. Tara Lewis : Good idea, Penelope

  Penelope Garcia : Yes, I couldn't agree more

• Penelope Garcia : [opening quote]  "Strong men, men who are truly role models, don't need to put down women to make themselves feel powerful" - Michelle Obama

• Emily Prentiss : [Picks up her phone]  Garcia, what have you got?

  Penelope Garcia : I have a great deal of rage and sorrow over reading a whole bunch of sexist, racist and homophobic rants

  Emily Prentiss : The "No Means Yes"-website?

  Penelope Garcia : Yes, and by that I mean yes

• Penelope Garcia : [Starts video call]  Hello, my... Sorry, it appears my internal salutation generator is broken due to this morning's gut punch. All I can come up with is: Hello

• Emily Prentiss : Garcia, compile a list of acid sales in the tri-state area New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. Also, anyone buying those ingredients to make their own

  Penelope Garcia : Ooh, it's gonna be a long list

  David Rossi : If the kid were here, he'd probably rattle off every acid known to man, their chemical properties, plus their sales down to the milliliter

• Stephen Walker : Garcia, see if you can pull it up

  Penelope Garcia : See if I can...? You doubt me? Sir, excuse me while I bulldoze my way through 137 pages of manifesto muck and mire without even cracking my lip gloss

• Penelope Garcia : It's with a heavy heart, I am telling you Philadelphia, a.k.a. the city of Brotherly Love, is in sore need of some lately, because last night two people had acid thrown in their faces in two separate attacks