My Mother's Lost Children (2017) User Reviews

Documentary of tyrannical father's ruin of family

[maurice_yacowar · 7/10 · 14 May 2018]

The director's mother narrowly survived the Holocaust only to suffer another tragedy when her husband stole their first two children. The naive young Brit Lillian was seduced by the smooth, shallow Iranian Jew Raymond, who absconded with their child Andrew and infant Michelle. Over their 40-year separation neither mother nor child can overcome the void and pain their separation has caused them. Director Danny is Lillie's son by her second marriage. His quest to find his half-siblings uncovers a maze of broken marriages, mothers and children. The men not so much. Lillie's brother Manny still feels justified in not sharing with Lillian the letter informing her of Michelle's quest to find her. Danny's sister remains scarred by her mother's emotional paralysis. We look for whom to blame. Lillian may initially seem responsible because she made no effort to find the children. She entrusted the theft to the local Jewish Community Board instead of the police. She assumed Raymond had swept them off to Iran, out of her reach. In fact they were in a boarding school an hour away from her. Even when she met him to complete their divorce, she did not press to see her children again. She early resigned herself to their permanent loss. But the true villain is Raymond. More generally, the problem is the power vested in the patriarchal family head. Male authority overrides humanity. Lillian's immediate resignation was not just her own lack of will or spirit but her submission to the husband's authority. Raymond's second wife Amanda may have served the maternal role for the kids, but she too could not stand up to him. When he hits Michelle for her wanting to go to university in America, Amanda can't intercede. So Michelle flees by herself, pained to lose another loving mother who couldn't stand up to her man. Raymond attempted the same theft with his two children by mistress Rosetta, but she fought him off with a knife. The woman outside the domestic system has the courage those in it lacked. The mothers needed the mistress's courage. Danny's long-distance interview exposes Raymond as emptily righteous, arrogant, proud of his womanizing, unwilling to accept a father's responsibility. He gave Andrew no help for his expensive cancer treatments. His last remark on Lillie confirms his callousness: "Tell her she was not a bad girl." The family disruptions extend into another generation still. We don't see or hear anything about the husband who left Michelle in her comfortable California estate. Her son lost his son to his absconding wife. Andrew's daughter cut him out of her life after his divorce. The separations of the father are visited upon the children. One scene locates this family drama against its political background: the Iranian Revolution that implanted the harsh Ayatollahs. They are the theocratic, state version of the tyrannical father that ruined this film's families.

A STORY of SELFISH DEVASTATION !

[lyninbyron · 6/10 · 25 October 2021]

A sordid, selfish tale of a mans revolting habit of having lots of children with various women and abandoning them and of a woman who's children were stolen and she and her family did nothing to find them!

My heart bleeds for all the children who's lives were devastated. I hope they find peace.

Brilliant and Moving Documentary

[ruth44 · 9/10 · 25 December 2017]

I really enjoyed this brilliant and moving documentary about the tragic loss of a very young British woman's children (taken by her ex-husband) and the journey in search of the truth made by her youngest son (the director). It's honest and sometimes aggravating but portrays a real-life story which sometimes seems 'stranger than fiction".

Extremely heartbreaking and moving!

[irenhalperin · 10/10 · 19 April 2024]

Brilliant documentary in search of the truth. This is a story that we were never told. Danny captures the truth, the emotions, devastation of Lily and her 2 children. Their father ( my uncle) was a selfish self served man, who had no regards for what he did to ruin lives. For years my cousins believed that they were abandoned by their mother. This is the story he told everyone. I cried the entire movie, to find out how he had deceived his entire family, by fabricating a story. He always told everyone how she had abandoned the children. He was a very charming man, who always managed to manipulate everyone for his gain. At the end, he died a tragic death. Maybe it was his KARMA! He ruined so many lives.