The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Romance Recalibration (2017)
Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
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[first lines]
[Penny enters to find the apartment romantically decorated]
Penny Hofstadter : What... what's all this?
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, it sounded like you were having a rough day, so I wanted you to come home to something nice.
Penny Hofstadter : Oh, that is so thoughtful.
Leonard Hofstadter : Hey, do you remember when we went wine-tasting in Santa Barbara, and you said that was the best rosé you'd ever had?
Penny Hofstadter : Yeh, I-I remember us driving up there, going to the winery and... uh, that's it.
Leonard Hofstadter : This wine is why.
Penny Hofstadter : Oh! Hey, what smells so good?
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, I made your favourite: pizza bagels,
Penny Hofstadter : [she gasps] Pink wine and pizza bagels! It's like eighth grade all over again. I'm so lucky to have you!
Leonard Hofstadter : Now be careful; these are hot. I- I could explain the thermodynamics of why the cheese seems hotter than the crust, but instead, I'm gonna keep it to myself.
Penny Hofstadter : Oh. You always know what not to say.
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Sheldon Cooper : You know, Penny went to this spa to be away from you; are you sure you should be going there?
Leonard Hofstadter : I don't want to wait two days for us to work this out.
Sheldon Cooper : Very well. You got married spur of the moment; I don't see why your divorce should be any different.
Leonard Hofstadter : I would pull this car over and kick you out, but... Penny dumps me you're all I got.
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Sheldon Cooper : Leonard, I've been meaning to ask you; what size shoe do you wear?
Leonard Hofstadter : Why?
Sheldon Cooper : I'm trying to take an interest in other people's lives.
Leonard Hofstadter : That's nice. I wear a size eight-and-a-half.
Sheldon Cooper : [laughing] That's small! So tell me, do you have any plans for the weekend?
Leonard Hofstadter : Are you gonna laugh at the answer?
Sheldon Cooper : Only if the answer is shopping for baby shoes.
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[last lines]
Sheldon Cooper : If you find this draft acceptable, then I believe your new relationship agreement is ready to be signed.
Penny Hofstadter : Article 8, subsection B: Leonard will restrict video gaming in underpants to hours Penny is not home. This includes boxers, briefs, thongs, G-strings or anything else that calls attention to his pasty little thighs.
Leonard Hofstadter : Does it really need to say that?
Sheldon Cooper : I did this for free; lemme get a little something.
Leonard Hofstadter : Article 10, subsection C: If questioned, Penny may not say that everything is fine if it isn't. Other unacceptable responses include "It's nothing", "Don't worry about it" and "I said it's nothing; don't worry about it."
Penny Hofstadter : I think this all looks good.
Leonard Hofstadter : Me too.
Sheldon Cooper : Uh, well, great then. Here. You will sign here, date here, and, Penny, if you could initial here to indicate that you're accepting Leonard in 'as is' condition.
Amy Farrah Fowler : I remember signing our first relationship agreement.
Sheldon Cooper : You seem to be forgetting the 'no nostalgia' clause.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Quite right; got it.
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Sheldon Cooper : Would you like to play a driving game I just invented?
Leonard Hofstadter : Is it about the failing state of my relationship with Penny?
Sheldon Cooper : Never mind.
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Leonard Hofstadter : [Leonard is playing a video game, sloppily spread on the couch. He belches] Damn. I burped so hard, I died in my game.
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Sheldon Cooper : They're still having girls' night across the hall.
Leonard Hofstadter : So, hang out with me and we'll have boys' night.
Sheldon Cooper : At our age, why don't we call it man's night?
Leonard Hofstadter : Because we just spent our allowance on comic books.