GLOW (TV Series)
The Wrath of Kuntar (2017)
Christopher Lowell: Bash Howard
Photos
Quotes
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[Sam sees Ruth and Bash staring at an art piece]
Sam Sylvia : Are you guys tripping?
Ruth Wilder : We're appreciating this piece of art.
Sam Sylvia : Oh yeah. I like art that tells you exactly what it is.
[art piece is a neon sign that reads 'Neon']
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Can you give us a little alone time?
Ruth Wilder : Oh, don't mind me. I'm just hiding from Debbie.
[Sam stares at Ruth]
Ruth Wilder : I'll go.
[Ruth walks away]
Sam Sylvia : So what is this? The old Malibu ambush? You're gonna ply me with some drinks and tell me you don't like my vision?
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Sam, I hired you to direct a wrestling show. Which I came up with. It was my idea.
Sam Sylvia : It was the seed of an idea. I'm... I'm trying to elevate the form.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : And that is so bitchin', but can you maybe also not do that? When I said that I wanted something different, I meant the way Ms. Pac-Man is different from Pac-Man. As in, almost the exact same thing, but with a bow in her hair. Not set in the desert after a nuclear war.
Sam Sylvia : Oh, okay. So I see, you don't want story.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : The Iron Sheik. right? What's his story? Where does he come from?
Sam Sylvia : I don't even know who that is.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : He's a fucking wrestler, Sam, okay? And it doesn't matter because he just wears a head scarf and he hates America. That's all you have to do. Bottom line: your ideas are just too complicated. We need to simplify. Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. That's what we're doing here. Gorgeous Ladies. Wrestling.
Sam Sylvia : Okay. All due respect. Okay, you hired me, because I'm a professional. I know how to do this. I've made eight films; two of which are taught in colleges. I'm not some 25-year-old child who thinks he knows everything. I need a drink.
[Sam walks away]
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Try the punch.
Sam Sylvia : I'm not twelve!
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Jenny Chey : I am one who is cute like panda. I'm in danger. Help me! Save me!
[grabs sword]
Jenny Chey : Ha ha! Trick you! Because I am fast like dragon!
[pulls sword]
Jenny Chey : I am Fortune Cookie...
[points sword at camera]
Jenny Chey : ... and Asian.
[Bash whistles]
Sam Sylvia : Yeah?
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Yeah. Definitely.
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Melanie Rosen : Hi, I'm Melrose. I'm a bad, bad girl who likes to party, party, party. And Daddy's been a bad, bad boy!
[pulls out whip]
Melanie Rosen : Come here, Daddy!
Sam Sylvia : I think, uh... I should pull back on the dominatrix thing.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Yeah, just a tad.
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Reggie Walsh : I'm a two-time... Olympic... medalist... who loves America. I'm Liberty Belle.
[Debbie approaches Sam and Bash]
Debbie Eagan : [whispers] Can I please do this character?
[Sam and Bash re-take the promo with Debbie wearing Reggie's medals]
Debbie Eagan : Because I'm a two-time Olympic medalist who loves America. I'm Liberty Belle.
Reggie Walsh : [looks at Sam and Bash] I'm the athlete. Those are my actual medals.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : She seemed more All-American.
Sam Sylvia : Just... We're... We got a different part for you. It's a big juicy part.
Reggie Walsh : Why don't I believe you?
[Sam and Bash cut a promo with Reggie wearing a Viking helmet]
Reggie Walsh : I am Vicky Viking.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Yes.
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Ruth Wilder : Men... walk in fear through these city streets. For it is there you may meet me. And though I am only moderately attractive, I am desperate. And there's nothing more dangerous than a desperate woman. And there is no woman more desperate than the Homewrecker.
[pause]
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : It's not working.
Sam Sylvia : Yeah.
Ruth Wilder : Did you want me to push it further, or... ?
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : No, it's just...
Sam Sylvia : I don't know. The whole thing's...
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Yeah, it's like, it's like... I mean, who is she?
Sam Sylvia : Yeah. Yeah. Help us out, Ruth. Um... who do you think you are?
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Justine Biagi : I'm Scab, and I'm your worst nightmare. I'll gut your Gucci and blast your Beemer. Die, yuppie scum! Ha ha ha ha!
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : I got chills.
Sam Sylvia : Yeah, you would.
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Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Ronnie takes out his pen, signs the picture, and he says, 'It's a good thing Bonzo is a Democrat. Otherwise, he'd have won the nomination.'
[the ladies laugh]
Debbie Eagan : You're hilarious.
Sam Sylvia : Ladies. Hi. I see you've met... Sebastian Howard, our producer.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Uh, 'Bash', please.
Sam Sylvia : Just know that he's the one signing your checks, so, be nice.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : I don't like to talk about money, okay? I'm the patron of the arts. And wrestling is an art, despite my mother's opinion, which is wrong.
Sam Sylvia : I thought you were in Peru.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Yeah. I... I... I came back early. Loving the casting!
[grabs Sheila]
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Even Miss Serious over here. So, so, so, what, what moves have you guys learned?
Cherry Bang : We've been mostly learning to fall on our backs without hurting ourselves.
Arthie Premkumar : And pain faces.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : W-w-what about, uh, powerbombs? Or, or DDTs? Salty's famous for his DDTs. Where is Salty, by the way?
Sam Sylvia : Yeah, yeah, Bash. Salty didn't work out. Cherry's our new wrestling coach now.
[Cherry waves at Bash]
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Um... d-does she have any wrestling experience?
Cherry Bang : Um... I'm right here.
Sam Sylvia : Yeah, all right. Anyway, you know that fans are gonna tune in for the moves, but they're not gonna stay tuned in unless we give them what, ladies?
Reggie Walsh : Blood!
Melanie Rosen : Tits!
Sam Sylvia : Storytelling. Storytelling.
Melanie Rosen : Oh.
Sam Sylvia : Now, I know it's exciting to be in the midst of a big-shot producer, but I have something even shinier. A script. Hot off the Xerox. I only made ten copies, so we're gonna have to share 'em. And I'm just gonna cast as we move along, starting with Ruth.
Ruth Wilder : Yes! Anything you need.
Sam Sylvia : Uh, yeah. I'm gonna need you to read stage directions.
[disappointed look in Ruth's face]
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[Sheila walks toward the camera, leaning against the wall]
Sheila the She Wolf : I'm Sheila.
Sam Sylvia : [looks at Bash] Anything to add?
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : No. I... I think it's pretty clear.
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Rhonda Richardson : Oh, hello. I didn't see you, because I was looking at my beaker full of a science experiment. And earlier, I was doing algebra, because... I'm Britannica, the Smartest Woman in the World.
[Sam looks at Bash, then takes off his glasses and hands them to Rhonda]
Sam Sylvia : Throw those on for a second.
[Rhonda puts on the glasses]
Sam Sylvia : Yeah, that sells it.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Now it makes sense.
Rhonda Richardson : I can't see.
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Tammé Dawson : Y'all stupid for going to work every day and paying taxes. I let the government pay for all of my shit, and I lives like a queen. A Welfare Queen.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : [looks at Sam] This is like half my brain, half your brain. She's our masterpiece.
-
[Melrose and Rhonda fiddle with GLOW-Bot]
Rhonda Richardson : Where are the drugs, robot?
Melanie Rosen : How does it refill itself?
[Melrose pushes the red button until a compartment opens]
Melanie Rosen : Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop! Yes! Rhonda, down here.
Rhonda Richardson : Where are they?
Melanie Rosen : Do you see any little baggies?
Rhonda Richardson : No, there's gotta be a...
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Ahem.
Melanie Rosen : Hey! What? No, we're not molesting your robot.
Rhonda Richardson : What? It kissed me, I didn't kiss it.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Well, I got something even better for you to fondle. Who likes glittery fun things?
[Rhonda raises her hand while Melrose looks at the dresses Bash is carrying]
Melanie Rosen : Holy shit! Is that a fucking Bob Mackie gown?
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Uh, yeah. Why do you think my parties are so legendary?
[Bash throws some dresses at Melrose and Rhonda]
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : We drink, we smoke, we dance and get naked. Then we put on these awesome costumes, and the cycle repeats itself. Now why don't you go tell the ladies that there's a costume closet on the second floor?
[Melrose and Rhonda run back to the mansion]
Melanie Rosen : You guys! Costume party! Get naked!
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[the ladies enter the costume room. Tammé puts on a white fur coat]
Tammé Dawson : Now this I can get used to.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Play around. Try on everything. Okay, maybe these could help inspire you in your wrestling personas.
Rhonda Richardson : Ooh.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : That's right. Your wrestling personas.
Tammé Dawson : And would Madame Xenothrob, the slaver-pimp, wear fur?
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Is that what the fur's telling you? Go with what feels right.
Tammé Dawson : Yes.
Rhonda Richardson : [wearing astronaut helmet] Look, I'm a beekeeper.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Hmm.
[Bash notices Carmen wearing a hockey mask]
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why so Friday the 13th, huh?
Carmen Wade : I'm a heel. I'm the evil Ogress. I gotta find something that'll scare the kids.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : [removes mask] No, no, no. Kids are gonna love you. You're not a serial killer. Look at this face, huh? Look at that smile. You're smiling all the time. No, we need... We need bright colors, fun. Oh, here. Here, try this on.
[Sam grabs a hat]
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Here. I got this after I dropped acid and hiked up Machu Picchu.
[Carmen puts on the hat]
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Here we go!
Melanie Rosen : I really thought I was gonna like this. I thought I was gonna like... 'Oh, Bob Mackie! I need that!'. But it's like, I don't even know who this is. It's a stranger...
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. We just gotta strip you down to your essence here.
Melanie Rosen : Naked already?
[Bash grabs a whip and gives it to Melrose]
Melanie Rosen : Wow. You see me.
-
[Sam snorts some cocaine, then looks at Sheila]
Sam Sylvia : Am I good?
Sheila the She Wolf : Yeah.
[Bash, wearing an Elvis jumpsuit, comes downstairs with the other ladies]
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Ladies and gentlemen! Introducing the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling! Yes! Yes! Glorified, get in here. Get in here.
[Bash notices Rhonda carrying an Uzi]
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Whoa, a gun! Cool!
Sam Sylvia : What the fuck is this?
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Costumes, characters.
[Sam looks at Tammé]
Sam Sylvia : You look ridiculous.
Tammé Dawson : This is my new character, Sam. I'm not a pimp. I'm a queen.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : We're exploring some ideas.
Sam Sylvia : We don't need new ideas! I have ideas!
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Sam, your ideas are so complicated. Okay.
[points at Melrose]
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Check this chick out, right? This is clear. She's a sexy party girl. And she's a ripoff of Madonna, who is so huge right now.
Melanie Rosen : What?
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : And this one.
[points at Jenny]
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : She walks into the ring. There's no backstories or dialogue about where she came from. You look at her, what's the first thing that jumps out at you?
Rhonda Richardson : Her eyes.
Jenny Chey : Aw!
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Bingo! She's oriental!
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : [points at Reggie] You're a jock.
[points at Arthie]
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : You're an Arab.
[points at Tammé]
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : You're a big black girl.
Tammé Dawson : The fuck you say?
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : It's not a judgment. It's just what I and the entire world see with our eyes. And in wrestling, that is the foundation upon which we need to build.
-
Arthie Premkumar : But I'm Indian, not Arab.
Jenny Chey : I'm Cambodian.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Backstory. Wrestling is not about backstory. It's about type. And your type is...
Arthie Premkumar : Intelligent and whimsical?
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : No. No. Terrorist, or or genie or some sort of other evil Arab.
Arthie Premkumar : You mean stereotypes.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Yes! Bingo! Exactly! Here, look...
[Bash hands Arthie the Uzi]
Sam Sylvia : Don't take that gun.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Take the gun.
Sam Sylvia : Don't take the gun.
Arthie Premkumar : Um, which one of you is in charge?
[Ruth shows up]
Ruth Wilder : Did somebody call for a meeting?
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Oh! Yes! Here we go. Perfect! Uh, I don't know. Farmer's daughter. A girl next door.
Ruth Wilder : No, I'm Kuntar, a vision of hideousness.
Sam Sylvia : See?
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : There's no world where people look at her and see hideous or evil. She's apple pie and ice cream.
Sam Sylvia : Look, I didn't take this job to be bossed around by some wannabe producer who takes fake phone calls at the polo lounge.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Those calls are real! You took this job because no one else would hire you.
Sam Sylvia : And who are you now? Robert Evans? You haven't done this before. You haven't done anything.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : GLOW is my idea!
Sam Sylvia : So what? Ideas are cheap. Everyone's got ideas. Your idiot butler probably has ten Oscar-winning ideas.
Florian : I do.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : You leave my butler out of this, all right? Florian kicks ass!
-
[Sam joins Bash in the backyard fire]
Sam Sylvia : I'm not easy to work with. I know that. I'm cranky, and I-I don't take criticism well, and I don't like being told what to do.
[pause]
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Is that an apology?
Sam Sylvia : Apologies, compromise... not my bag. As my ex-wife will tell you. I-I just don't get it, man. I mean... why'd you hire me if you don't like my work?
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : What are you talking about, Sam? Your fucking movies are hysterical.
Sam Sylvia : They're not comedies.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Oh.
[pause]
Sam Sylvia : I'll tell you what. We'll do it your way. All right? I'll make your show. I'll listen. I'll... compromise. In return...
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : You can't have Florian, okay? He's too valuable to me.
Sam Sylvia : I don't want your fucking butler. I want you to read my script.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : The one from this morning?
Sam Sylvia : No. No, another one. I-I've been trying to get it made for years, alright. But nobody gets it and no one wants to pay for it.
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : I don't need to read it. I'll make it.
Sam Sylvia : You should read it. It's pretty fucking wild. There's, there's, like, uh, time travel, Oedipal shit...
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Sam, look at me. You make GLOW, I will make any... crazy time-travel sex-romp movie you want. What's it called?
Sam Sylvia : Mothers and Lovers. Don't say anything. I don't want notes. It's a great title.
[pause]
Sebastian 'Bash' Howard : Sam, I love it. It's deep.