- Rebecca Pearson: This bedroom feels so much smaller now. I didn't want to nest for three. I only wanted to nest for one.
- Jack Pearson: I know.
- Rebecca Pearson: How are three kids supposed to grow up in one bedroom? I... how are we even going to get strollers up and down the stairs of a sixth-floor walkup? We have to get our security deposit back.
- Jack Pearson: We can't. I tried.
- Rebecca Pearson: Well, I could ask.
- Jack Pearson: They were pretty firm about it.
- Rebecca Pearson: I could cry.
- Jack Pearson: I did. Didn't work.
- Dr. Schneider: Never fun telling a young couple they're having three babies and not just the one they were ready for.
- Dr. Nathan Katowski: Yeah. Triplets. Always a headache with triplets. Just glad they're your patients, not mine.
- Toby Damon: [recovering in the hospital after having a heart attack] This is what I get for flying across the country to surprise you.
- Kate Pearson: You're alive. Stop complaining.
- Toby Damon: No, I'm tired. I am cranky. And I have a straw stuck so far up my junk that I could whistle "Don't Worry, Be Happy" if I sneezed.
- Rebecca Pearson: You really tried crying?
- Jack Pearson: Oh, yeah. Just full waterworks, like a little boy. We're not getting the security deposit back. But I'm gonna figure something out. Okay? I will. I will figure something out.
- Randall Pearson: Am I homophobic?
- Beth Pearson: You are not homophobic.
- Randall Pearson: Well, how do you know?
- Beth Pearson: Because you're good, and you're open-minded, that's why. Plus, your favorite coworker is gay.
- Randall Pearson: Keith's not gay.
- Beth Pearson: Really?
- Randall Pearson: No, he's French Canadian. It's confusing.
- Beth Pearson: Damn.
- Randall Pearson: All right, if I'm not homophobic, then why does it make me feel so weird every time William talks about Jessie?
- Beth Pearson: Because you thought you were getting to know him. And this, admittedly, is a curveball.
- Randall Pearson: It is. It's a big, gay curveball.
- Beth Pearson: You know, why don't you just... try to get to know Jessie; maybe you'll feel better, you know? Next time he comes to pick up William, actually talk to him. It'll give you good practice for when Tess and Annie start to bring boyfriends home.
- Randall Pearson: I hate that sentence.
- Beth Pearson: Or girlfriends.
- Randall Pearson: I prefer that.
- Beth Pearson: See? Not homophobic.
- Sloane Sandburg: Kevin, can I ask you something?
- Kevin Pearson: Yeah.
- Sloane Sandburg: I... even though every feminist bone in my body will stop talking to me...
- Kevin Pearson: What's up?
- Sloane Sandburg: What are we doing? Like, do we like each other? Are we just sleeping together? Because if we're just sleeping together, that's... that's totally fine. I... I mean, 'cause I can't, like, totally process that someone like you would sleep with me, so...
- Kevin Pearson: Whoa. What does that even mean? I don't understand what that means. Listen, here's the thing. I like you. Okay? A lot. I like sleeping with you. I... I like the fact that you're... you're funny and you're brilliant, even though you're from Long Island.
- Sloane Sandburg: What's wrong with being from Long Island?
- Kevin Pearson: I don't know. It's just I've heard other New Yorkers slam it, so I wanted to try to fit in. The point is I don't know what we are. Okay? That's the truth. I don't know what I think we are. I just know that I like that there's a "we" for us to talk about.
- Jack Pearson: Hey, dad.
- Stanley Pearson: What the hell do you want?
- Jack Pearson: I need to borrow some money.