- Bank Manager: People make mistakes.
- Fleabag: That's why they put rubbers at the end of pencils.
- Bank Manager: Is that a joke?
- Fleabag: I don't know.
- Fleabag: [crying] You know, either everyone feels like this a little bit, or they're just not talking about it, or I am completely fucking alone. Which really isn't fucking funny.
- Dad: Jesus, why do daughters say they get fucked up by their fathers when it's so often the other way round?
- Fleabag: There's always a stage when someone's falling in love with you that they lose their erection. They get confused, they panic, the stakes get too high, the blood rushes from their dick to their heart.
- Arsehole Guy: Oh, Jesus.
- Fleabag: And everything is fucked.