Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV Series)
Why Is Josh's Ex-Girlfriend Eating Carbs? (2016)
Rachel Bloom: Rebecca Bunch
Photos
Quotes
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Darryl Whitefeather : It turns out Josh is really into old guys. Yeah, it's practically a fetish!
Rebecca Bunch : Okay well, let's not knock someone for a fetish. I mean, you know, some people like being... choked by red licorice. I'm not saying who, but I think you know it's me.
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Heather Davis : You just want someone who will yammer about Josh with you all day long because with me, every time you mention Josh, I make you give me five dollars. By the way, you owe me three-hundred dollars.
Rebecca Bunch : Look, you're wrong, I'm gonna find some way for Valencia and I to transcend Josh together - dammit, I said it again!
[Rebecca pulls a wad of cash from her purse]
Rebecca Bunch : Okay, just take a bunch of money and deduct it from my Josh fund - dammit, I said Josh's name. I don't know why I agreed to this, I must be crazy!
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Rebecca Bunch : Valencia, are these muffins? Are you eating carbs? I am so proud of you, girl!
Valencia Perez : I know, I'm super-fat, thanks for reminding me.
Rebecca Bunch : What? No, you're not fat. You're, like, most people's wedding-goal weight!
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White Josh : What number muffin is that for today? I feel like every time I'm in here, you're piling another one down the hatch.
Rebecca Bunch : Yeah well, you're in here a lot because, we get it, you and Darryl are *in love.*
White Josh : Oh, yeah. We don't say that to each other. I haven't met his daughter yet, so.
Rebecca Bunch : An insecurity? Me likey. You know what's good for when you feel insecure?
[Rebecca grins and offers him a muffin]
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Valencia Perez : The only shared trauma you and are I gonna bond over are those communal port-o-potties.
Rebecca Bunch : Ah, not a problem for me. I love a good public poo. It's like, leave it and forget it - not my mess!
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Valencia Perez : What are we even doing here?
Rebecca Bunch : Take off your pants.
Valencia Perez : Um, hello? I ain't that kind of party!
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Rebecca Bunch : This is why I'm growing out my pubic hair - because it makes me feel like a fierce animal!
