Asian Ghost Story (2016) Poster

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2/10
Forget everything you know about acting
IzzyMaeDoorite3 September 2020
David DeCoteau in a nutshell: a bunch of shirtless model guys and a boring not-so-model female to avoid an accusations of overly homoerotic context. Zero blood, zero thrills, zero sense, below zero acting skills. Josh Van Meurs is a new legend worthy to stand along with Neil Breen and, like, the most of 'Birdemic' cast. Cassidy Alexa shoud have finished her career with an CW's 'Arrow' deleted part as Harley Quinn's hair. Too bad she didn't. Cynthia Rothrock shoud have finished her career about 20 years ago. Too bad she also didn't. David DeCoteau... aw c'mon, this guy's unstoppable.

The only thing 'Asian Ghost Story' is good for is making a few laughs when nobody expects them. Just like the characters didn't expect to be killed off-screen by a Chinese voyeuristic dead ninja's ghost.
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1/10
Canadian Ghost story with a token Asian
nogodnomasters23 September 2017
Warning: Spoilers
A bunch of guys go ghost hunting in Canada. They take their shirts off, walk around in the woods, and get killed by a vengeful Chinese warrior ghost (looks like a Ninja) who wanted higher wages and better living conditions. First guy walks for 20 minutes without his shirt before getting killed, while the woman has on a coat and gloves. One guy makes it to the house and walks around without his shirt or pants. The acting was bad, the story was bad, soundtrack was bad, and the film wasn't even Asian. Cynthia Rothrock narrates. Cassidy Alexa makes an attempt at career suicide.

I believe Tom Vuu who played the eyes of the ghost is Vietnamese and not actually Chinese so once again they got the shaft.

Guide: No swearing, sex, or nudity. Great film for beefcake.
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5/10
Almost Zen
timstokes-5573211 January 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I can't be quite sure this counts as spoilerful in the true sense of the word as I reveal nothing of the actual film or the not quite shocking conclusion, however I possibly describe the essence of the film with all the accuracy at my command to the degree that you will only need to watch the other 50% of the film (this will have no impact on the time you spend watching the film).

The beginning.

I had a few moments of excitement when I thought it was an animation. Next the introduction (a surreal infomercial of sorts)which, in honesty, I needed to push myself through. I am glad I was able to.

The opening credits are most enjoyable and I would enjoy the work of these animators again.

The film started gently with some rather unfortunately dressed young men and a narration which ensured that if I had missed any of the subtleties of the film during the introduction I would be fully refreshed at this point.

If you are only wearing denim shorts; you need a belt!

Everywhere seems to be a long walk, or similar mode of perambulation, from everywhere else. An almost eerily long way. A long long long eerie way. But that's Canadia for you.

The acting is acceptable as is the score.

There is a plot which seems to involve even more unfortunately dressed young men arriving. With equipment. And plot refreshers for those of us with quite serious memory problems. And those who struggle to work out what is going on with just watching the film. And those who struggle with contextual subtexts. If you are not sure of what any of these statements mean, or cant remember them, this film is highly recommended.

Underpants. You will have to watch it yourself to appreciate the consideration for costumery from the costume department in terms of both quantity and quality of underpants. Does make a change from the obligatory bikini shots in its favour. Though neither would have worked equally well.

Feelings of quite mild suspense dissipate with the epic hiking done between the mildly suspenseful parts.

Oh my god.....there's more unfortunately dressed people. And epic gaps between the mildly mild suspenseful bits. I am almost overwhelmed with a feeling of a sort of bliss.

Not sure about the Asian Ghost itself to be honest. Kind of didn't fit with the rest of the film. Weird thing to happen in a film really. Still if there wasn't an Asian Ghost it would have spoilt the title. Which is, as you can tell,by my being grabbed by the title quite the eye grabber.

Even the final infomercial seemed to be a long walk away from the rest of the film.

In essence not a terrible film done on a budget but a further 5 minutes in costume design would have gone a long way. Also an occasional attempt to step outside the boundaries of the story line of thousand films everyone has already seen would have taken it a step above mediocre.

Equally you have to give something not Hollywood box office a try occasionally and have given the film a fair rating for the enjoyment I got watching it.
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1/10
I expect to see this writer and director on American greed soon!!
xenazues6 April 2022
How did this get to the producers and get finalized? How did cynthia put her name on this? This is the worst movie I've seen.

It's just so confusing the girl is wearing a winter jacket and the guy has some cut off shorts and no shirt and ankle socks. I would go over what made this movie bad but it's too much to cover and barely worth the review.

I'm not sure what happened just good ole one liners, nudity and things blowing up. It sucks because this movie was crystal clear. If you clicked on this movie and wanting to see cyntha kick some butt. Then find her in something else.
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