Seen far worse film's. But in the end I was a fast forward through the weak 'story'! Until something happened. I have given it two points 1. for the hot women and 2. the gore effect ...... Which were better than usual film of this budget. (Although they do become very repetitive) ......acting wasn't that terrible.
But I'd say avoid by keep an eye out for the woman who did all the effects in the film. Potential. (no.......she's not my wife ha ha)
13 Reviews
"Where are all the knives?"
the_doofy4 April 2018
First of all, I got to wondering why a coven of evil monks would abduct most everyone in a village except for the 19-20 year old babes in leather bra armor. And then it occurred to me that the reason was they did not want to get skewered and shishkabobbed.
The gals all had athletical bods, so I figured they must be gymnists and such, but there are three stunt women listed in the credits, so I guess they did most of the body slams, flips and so on, not the athletical looking actresses
Most of the movie was done in one large room, but U don't really notice this because of the sword fights, fist fights, monster fights, explosions, ninjitsu etc.
Despite what some of the reviews say, the acting is pretty good, good enough to make me think the makers of this movie held auditions, or at least insisted the actos have experience in acting from somewhere. A few of the fight scenes were grusome, and every babe in leather bra armor was worth any 2-3 bad guys, if not more.
The movie really isn't meant to be a comedy, the acting is serious, but when a viewer starts thinking about the movie, U can't help but do some chuckling.
I think this whole crew given a budget and a well thought out script would turn out a decent kick ass movie.
The movie was made in Wales, and I think any guy who likes action movies will enjoy this. Gals will probably be put off by it, but with that being said, seeing young women taking down corrupt monks (some fight back viciously), taking on killer zombie like tree monsters, and going face to face with norsemen may just appeal to some modern female viewers.
The death scenes with blood spewing out of mouths kind of got old, and I started wondering where the primary female protagonist was getting all her bolts from, but I guess if a standard hollywood shoot em up can have a pistol that shoots 80 times w/o reloading, then Wales can have their miniature bolt thrower w/ bolts appearing out of thin air by god. There was no flying around in the fight scenes, so it definitely is a step up from 99 % of all asian sword fight movies.
Got no idea why it is called "viking siege", but I would not be able to think of a name for this movie, guess the makers of it couldn't either.
The gals all had athletical bods, so I figured they must be gymnists and such, but there are three stunt women listed in the credits, so I guess they did most of the body slams, flips and so on, not the athletical looking actresses
Most of the movie was done in one large room, but U don't really notice this because of the sword fights, fist fights, monster fights, explosions, ninjitsu etc.
Despite what some of the reviews say, the acting is pretty good, good enough to make me think the makers of this movie held auditions, or at least insisted the actos have experience in acting from somewhere. A few of the fight scenes were grusome, and every babe in leather bra armor was worth any 2-3 bad guys, if not more.
The movie really isn't meant to be a comedy, the acting is serious, but when a viewer starts thinking about the movie, U can't help but do some chuckling.
I think this whole crew given a budget and a well thought out script would turn out a decent kick ass movie.
The movie was made in Wales, and I think any guy who likes action movies will enjoy this. Gals will probably be put off by it, but with that being said, seeing young women taking down corrupt monks (some fight back viciously), taking on killer zombie like tree monsters, and going face to face with norsemen may just appeal to some modern female viewers.
The death scenes with blood spewing out of mouths kind of got old, and I started wondering where the primary female protagonist was getting all her bolts from, but I guess if a standard hollywood shoot em up can have a pistol that shoots 80 times w/o reloading, then Wales can have their miniature bolt thrower w/ bolts appearing out of thin air by god. There was no flying around in the fight scenes, so it definitely is a step up from 99 % of all asian sword fight movies.
Got no idea why it is called "viking siege", but I would not be able to think of a name for this movie, guess the makers of it couldn't either.
Terrible
iceman888694 January 2018
You gotta love how people that have to do with making a movie immediately come to IMDB and give their film a 10. The story is basically hot women. Otherwise, I did not see a story. I don't believe even one woman in this movie was unattractive. The acting was on par with something you would see in a high school play. It even makes me think of one of those horrible D&D movies they come up with these days. It's not the worst movie I have ever seen, but it is really a really bad low budget movie with no potential.
A bowel movement has better drama
rhardy-390-7013414 January 2018
The acting is what you would expect from an 8th grade Christmas play.
The cinematography reminds me of a video off of a iPhone....4s
Poor script, bad writing overall, and an acting class that would do better bagging groceries, makes for a really bad viewing. I find UK TV shows to be superior to US TV shows in nearly every aspect. The same cannot be said for nearly all of the UKs theatrical releases. For every hit you have 20 duds like this one. Now, the US is jut as bad except they produce worldwide blockbusters to offset the poor films.
Want your date to breakup with you and contemplate ritual suicide? Well grab a bucket of popcorn, gallon of coke, 6lbs of candy and how you die from a diabetic coma before she finishes watching this with you, so you do not have to watch her glare of pure hatred, as she starts sepeku in front of you
And yes, I have indeed used the facilities with more drama and better CGI than this horrid film
The cinematography reminds me of a video off of a iPhone....4s
Poor script, bad writing overall, and an acting class that would do better bagging groceries, makes for a really bad viewing. I find UK TV shows to be superior to US TV shows in nearly every aspect. The same cannot be said for nearly all of the UKs theatrical releases. For every hit you have 20 duds like this one. Now, the US is jut as bad except they produce worldwide blockbusters to offset the poor films.
Want your date to breakup with you and contemplate ritual suicide? Well grab a bucket of popcorn, gallon of coke, 6lbs of candy and how you die from a diabetic coma before she finishes watching this with you, so you do not have to watch her glare of pure hatred, as she starts sepeku in front of you
And yes, I have indeed used the facilities with more drama and better CGI than this horrid film
Attack of the tree beasts?
colinthemagpie12 January 2018
!BUYER BEWARE!
This is NOT a serious film, DO NOT believe the marketing into thinking this movie is about vikings or the famous siege of Paris in 845, this film is pure fictional and quite frankly bananas!
Luckily I do like a low budget movie from time to time, 'Viking Siege' must be one of the cheapest produced movies out there! I do believe this perhaps to be intentional by the developers among with the sheer amounts of ham passed around the actors, super cheap special effects which boils down to ketchup 'everywhere' with surprisingly a half decent soundtrack.
SO why is this film called Viking Siege? Where is the sieging?
I did enjoy it to be fair, some odd pacing issues toward the middle but I had fun with it. Leave your expectations at the door and you should be able to get through this, this is not for the serious of heart out there, I repeat this film does NOT take itself seriously.
5/10 Oodles that could be improved but a forgivable attempt for a first time director. Less ham next time, ok?
This is NOT a serious film, DO NOT believe the marketing into thinking this movie is about vikings or the famous siege of Paris in 845, this film is pure fictional and quite frankly bananas!
Luckily I do like a low budget movie from time to time, 'Viking Siege' must be one of the cheapest produced movies out there! I do believe this perhaps to be intentional by the developers among with the sheer amounts of ham passed around the actors, super cheap special effects which boils down to ketchup 'everywhere' with surprisingly a half decent soundtrack.
SO why is this film called Viking Siege? Where is the sieging?
I did enjoy it to be fair, some odd pacing issues toward the middle but I had fun with it. Leave your expectations at the door and you should be able to get through this, this is not for the serious of heart out there, I repeat this film does NOT take itself seriously.
5/10 Oodles that could be improved but a forgivable attempt for a first time director. Less ham next time, ok?
Too many cooks
drystyx24 January 2022
This story of supernatural tree shaped men attacking a motley group of people in the middle ages has the look of a story with too many cooks spoiling the broth.
There were just too many characters who had superiority complexes, and the ones who would have the superiority complexes had the opposite.
The monks are depicted as ridiculous middle ages version of Frank Burns, and the other characters are just as one dimensional.
On the bright side, as contrived as it is, there is a bit of non contrived fates. A bit of "let the cards fall where they fall" look, instead of a deliberated goal appearance.
The biggest problem is "character". These characters all look like they were written by or for certain actors, which was probably the intention, but it looks too obvious. Way too many are too Hollywood, and few make sense for the era. For instance, the monks are depicted as cowardly weak mercenaries, when in fact the monks of the era could either be weak or mercenary, but couldn't be both.
There were too many Hollywood characters for the movie, too. Had it been a mini series, maybe it would work, although the characters were so standard and Hollywood that it would only work for the geekiest people.
More ridiculous was the woman who never ran out of arrows. I don't know where the arrows all were. They just appeared out of the air. I guess they dropped from the ceiling. Probably from an elaborate mechanism she devised that dropped three arrows every ten minutes.
There were just too many characters who had superiority complexes, and the ones who would have the superiority complexes had the opposite.
The monks are depicted as ridiculous middle ages version of Frank Burns, and the other characters are just as one dimensional.
On the bright side, as contrived as it is, there is a bit of non contrived fates. A bit of "let the cards fall where they fall" look, instead of a deliberated goal appearance.
The biggest problem is "character". These characters all look like they were written by or for certain actors, which was probably the intention, but it looks too obvious. Way too many are too Hollywood, and few make sense for the era. For instance, the monks are depicted as cowardly weak mercenaries, when in fact the monks of the era could either be weak or mercenary, but couldn't be both.
There were too many Hollywood characters for the movie, too. Had it been a mini series, maybe it would work, although the characters were so standard and Hollywood that it would only work for the geekiest people.
More ridiculous was the woman who never ran out of arrows. I don't know where the arrows all were. They just appeared out of the air. I guess they dropped from the ceiling. Probably from an elaborate mechanism she devised that dropped three arrows every ten minutes.
TREES, CREATURES, HOT WOMEN, MEN WITH BEARDS!
mpricefilms9 January 2018
Amazonian slave girls vs corrupt and sleazy monks, then grab a bunch of Norse men hot on their heels running from an alien infestation mutating the locals into 'Tree Beasts' and you have a very entertaining but utterly ridiculous little film.
Not much in the ways of a story other then trying to survive the night, super hot babes and 50's Dr Who rubber masked creatures. It;s cheap & nasty but FUN!
Absolutely have no idea why this film is marketed as 'Viking Siege' this film was once known as 'Attack of the Tree Beasts', which makes WAY more sense of this ridiculous and over the top homage to low budget 80's B-Movies. The Vikings in Siege are more Norse men than actual real vikings.
TREES, CREATURES, HOT WOMEN, MEN WITH BEARDS!
For what it is, it's guilty, trashy FUN!
Not much in the ways of a story other then trying to survive the night, super hot babes and 50's Dr Who rubber masked creatures. It;s cheap & nasty but FUN!
Absolutely have no idea why this film is marketed as 'Viking Siege' this film was once known as 'Attack of the Tree Beasts', which makes WAY more sense of this ridiculous and over the top homage to low budget 80's B-Movies. The Vikings in Siege are more Norse men than actual real vikings.
TREES, CREATURES, HOT WOMEN, MEN WITH BEARDS!
For what it is, it's guilty, trashy FUN!
Great Watch!
olly-townsend-459735 January 2018
"Evil Dead mixed with swords and sorcery"
selfdestructo21 December 2021
Or so the box says. I was not expecting Viking Siege to live up to that crazy billing (DVD Rule #1: Don't believe the quotes on the box), but I have to say this movie was real entertaining. First of all, the title makes no sense (guess they didn't want to call it "Tree Siege"). Also, ignore the dragon on the cover. No room in the budget for that -- creature effects are strictly bargain basement. The bulk of this movie takes place in one location.
Here's a medieval flick that doesn't take itself too seriously, which is kind of a nice change of pace. The opening shows us what the "Tree Bastards" are all after... a meteor that fell from the sky. Apparently it's real powerful! Then the credits roll, and the director is credited as... "Jack Burton"?! Guess someone's a big John Carpenter fan.
A band of murderous harlots plan a Red Wedding-style massacre on a brotherhood of crooked monks, who enslaved their families. Complications ensue when a Lord shows up to the party, oh, then the vikings crash the proceedings, being chased by a horde of God-knows-what. The monks also have a group of thugs locked in the basement, awaiting a ship to send them off into slavery. Lots of different factions and agendas collide, but they've somehow got to work together to stick it out and be rescued by morning. Actual diverse and interesting characters in this, it's nice that attention was paid in that area.
Ok, the guy who called this Evil Dead, I'm assuming he's referring to trees coming alive, and at one point the dead come back to life, then they actually steal a (turn of a) phrase from Evil Dead (and repeat it, just like, well you know). I was somehow expecting it to be real gory. Oh well.
Let's see, what else does this movie need? Apparently the filmmakers felt the answer to that question was "kung fu."
Don't expect great special effects (or even good blood, for that matter), this is strictly a B-movie. But what it does have going for it is a lot of fun, character, and comical dialogue. UK production.
Here's a medieval flick that doesn't take itself too seriously, which is kind of a nice change of pace. The opening shows us what the "Tree Bastards" are all after... a meteor that fell from the sky. Apparently it's real powerful! Then the credits roll, and the director is credited as... "Jack Burton"?! Guess someone's a big John Carpenter fan.
A band of murderous harlots plan a Red Wedding-style massacre on a brotherhood of crooked monks, who enslaved their families. Complications ensue when a Lord shows up to the party, oh, then the vikings crash the proceedings, being chased by a horde of God-knows-what. The monks also have a group of thugs locked in the basement, awaiting a ship to send them off into slavery. Lots of different factions and agendas collide, but they've somehow got to work together to stick it out and be rescued by morning. Actual diverse and interesting characters in this, it's nice that attention was paid in that area.
Ok, the guy who called this Evil Dead, I'm assuming he's referring to trees coming alive, and at one point the dead come back to life, then they actually steal a (turn of a) phrase from Evil Dead (and repeat it, just like, well you know). I was somehow expecting it to be real gory. Oh well.
Let's see, what else does this movie need? Apparently the filmmakers felt the answer to that question was "kung fu."
Don't expect great special effects (or even good blood, for that matter), this is strictly a B-movie. But what it does have going for it is a lot of fun, character, and comical dialogue. UK production.
Vikings, monsters, babes and comedy
lloydyb4 January 2018
A medieval romp with a posse of vengeful women (from a statistically unlikely village that contains only gorgeous females) planning to kill the monks who enslaved their relatives. Throw in the local Lord in the wrong place at the wrong time, Kung Foo and some double hard Vikings with a mysterious secret and you have the ingredients of a belter of a movie.
The effects are average but its a humorous and well paced film able to keep you engrossed throughout. Its not thought provoking, have a subtle script or give strong characterisation but its does not mean to. Its provides enjoyable escapism and it would be pretentious to compare it to some art house play. People who value this sort of film will have fun and those who do not shouldn't watch.
Its not great but with a bigger budget it might have been and it is most certainly not a waste of time.
I Loved This Movie
alsawyer16 June 2021
Low budget as it may be, I enjoyed the hell out of this film. The story was unique for this sort of movie. The dialogue was snappy. The characters were different from what you usually see in a fantasy movie. Not to mention that yes the women were hot. Very entertaining.
Wales of a Time
daniel-mannouch14 April 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Viking Siege is a competent Viking film with a tone much lighter than what is mostly found in this particular cycle of the historical epic genre. It has a sense of humour about itself basically, but it's not that great. It's a character driven story this one which is super rare for a viking film and even rarer, it's all set in one location, and more rarer than that, the film manages to pull that off in a competent fashion.
My expectations, ever foolishly piqued by the BBFC label on the back, were that Viking Siege would be a lot more trashy than it turned out to be. This was directed with Carpenter and Raimi in mind rather than Prior or Myer, or god forbid, a Franco or Fragasso. Now that approach would have really surprised me, though i'm not sure how much i would welcome it. Though i don't like this relatively classy and self-aware approach that much either. But all of this is just aesthetics anyway.
When it comes right own to it, Viking Siege displays a lot of focus and enthusiasm which is infectious at times. Unfortunately however, i cannot fathom who would appreciate it. It's too small in scope for those looking for an epic film, too fairy tale like with it's period for viking enthusiasts and for T&A trash hunters like your sex lord truly, nudity and inanity and insanity is sparse. Making just a decent independent feature doesn't cut it anymore really. The clue to the identity of the real audience for Viking Siege lies within it's title. If you love the siege scenes in zombie movies, war movies, crime movies, etc, then this is for you. You get all the hallmarks, claustrophobia, increasing tensions amongst survivors, foreboding sense of doom. So if that's your bag, as well as character driven narratives, then this will be the only viking film you'll need.
My expectations, ever foolishly piqued by the BBFC label on the back, were that Viking Siege would be a lot more trashy than it turned out to be. This was directed with Carpenter and Raimi in mind rather than Prior or Myer, or god forbid, a Franco or Fragasso. Now that approach would have really surprised me, though i'm not sure how much i would welcome it. Though i don't like this relatively classy and self-aware approach that much either. But all of this is just aesthetics anyway.
When it comes right own to it, Viking Siege displays a lot of focus and enthusiasm which is infectious at times. Unfortunately however, i cannot fathom who would appreciate it. It's too small in scope for those looking for an epic film, too fairy tale like with it's period for viking enthusiasts and for T&A trash hunters like your sex lord truly, nudity and inanity and insanity is sparse. Making just a decent independent feature doesn't cut it anymore really. The clue to the identity of the real audience for Viking Siege lies within it's title. If you love the siege scenes in zombie movies, war movies, crime movies, etc, then this is for you. You get all the hallmarks, claustrophobia, increasing tensions amongst survivors, foreboding sense of doom. So if that's your bag, as well as character driven narratives, then this will be the only viking film you'll need.
Something for everyone 😀
synsen-4033418 December 2019
Yes, it was a ridiculous movie, but you just cannot walk away. It has only BEAUTIFUL WOMEN(what are the chances of that ), MONSTERS, GOOD AND BAD VIKINGS, EVIL MONKS, and a ASIAN WHO KNOWS KARATE. Yes you must leave your brain at the door, but it's action packed and some kind of funny. Lots of twist to keep you on your toes. Give it a look see, you won't forget it
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