Castle (TV Series)

Much Ado About Murder (2016)

Nathan Fillion: Richard Castle

Quotes 

• Kate Beckett : [chuckling]  Mmm. What's tonight?

  Richard Castle : Come on, don't tell me you forgot. Our weekly date night. It's new. It's our thing. It's- It's your turn to arrange it, remember?

  Kate Beckett : Yeah! Of cour- Of course I remember. I don't need a YOLO card to help me out with that. I've already got it planned.

  Richard Castle : Oh, do you? So, tell me, how are you gonna top my American Revolution evening I arranged with the carriage ride to see "Hamilton" on Broadway? The dinner served by waiters dressed as Founding Fathers?

  Kate Beckett : Yes, that was fun. Except for when Ben Franklin started hitting on me.

  Richard Castle : That's nothing. George Washington slipped me his digits.

  Kate Beckett : What?

  Richard Castle : So, what are we doing tonight?

  Kate Beckett : Uh, well, it's a surprise, Castle.

  Richard Castle : Oh, I love surprises. At least tell me what to wear. On a wardrobe scale of 1 to 10, 10 being James Bond, 1 being Big Lebowski, give me a number.

  Kate Beckett : [her phone rings]  For now, five. Crime scene casual.

• Richard Castle : Is that Zane Cannon?

  Javier Esposito : Yep, star of the "Apocalypse Runner" movie franchise.

  Richard Castle : I love those movies.

  Javier Esposito : Yeah, me too. Even though, no disrespect to the dead, this guy couldn't act to save his life.

  Richard Castle : Quite literally, by the looks of things.

• Richard Castle : A quill pen? Odd choice for a murder weapon. Unless, of course, the murderer was the ghost of William Shakespeare killing Zane for butchering his words. It's all the talk on Broadway that Zane had no business performing the Bard's most famous role.

  Javier Esposito : Why cast him then?

  Richard Castle : Because movie stars sell tickets. Just ask my mother. She can't stop talking about the Hollywood-ization of Broadway.

• Javier Esposito : Ms. Fox? NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions.

  [Naomi doesn't reply] 

  Javier Esposito : Ms. Fox.

  Richard Castle : [to Esposito]  Um, may I?

  [to Naomi] 

  Richard Castle : Ophelia?

  Naomi Fox : Aye, My Lord?

  Richard Castle : These fair gentlemen are constables and wish to speak with you in matters regarding the murder most foul and unnatural of Zane Cannon.

  Naomi Fox : 'Tis too much to bear to think on it.

  Kevin Ryan : How now, fair Ophelia? We have queries, and thou shall answer, or we shall force perforce be moved to make a Star Chamber...

  Javier Esposito : Stop. We are so not doing this. Look, Naomi, we know that you were having a showmance with Zane. He dumped you, and then you busted up his car.

  Naomi Fox : My Lord, he speaks with a curious tongue. Car?

  Richard Castle : It's what he's gonna put you in the back of when he arrests you for murder.

  Javier Esposito : So stop the Daniel Day-Lewis routine and start talking or...

  [holds up handcuffs] 

  Naomi Fox : [dropping her act]  Okay, look, I wasn't in my right mind when I smashed up Zane's car, but I didn't kill him. You have to believe me. I was out late last night bar-hopping with some of the cast. You can check it out.

  Kevin Ryan : Bar-hopping? So you're not full method.

  Richard Castle : Unless she was drinking mead and eating with her fingers.

• Kate Beckett : 1PP has been on my ass about keeping media under control, and now my husband is the face of the investigation.

  Richard Castle : It's not all bad news, Beckett.

  Kate Beckett : How?

  Richard Castle : That's a great photo of me.

• Kate Beckett : Do we have a suspect?

  Javier Esposito : Not yet. Naomi's alibi checked out. But we do have a lead on this mystery woman that Zane was seeing. His financials came in. They say that he rented a limo yesterday morning.

  Richard Castle : Which makes sense, since Naomi trashed his DB9.

  Kate Beckett : And where was this limo going?

  Javier Esposito : I don't know yet. I'm still waiting for the driver to call me back. But hopefully he knows who this woman is.

  Kevin Ryan : [approaching]  I have already found her. It turns out that Zane was renting a suite at the Black Door Hotel under a fake name.

  Richard Castle : Ah! The Black Door. Yes, very fancy.

  Javier Esposito : Mmm-hmm

  Richard Castle : Known for being discreet...

  [sees their expressions] 

  Richard Castle : ... Is what I've heard from other people who were once single, now married.

• [searching for the victim's 'mystery woman' at his hotel suite] 

  Javier Esposito : NYPD. Police.

  [they quietly look around and see someone under a blanket on the bed] 

  Javier Esposito : Psst.

  [whispering] 

  Javier Esposito : There's a ginger in the bed.

  [Esposito turns the lights on and the startled person gasps and sits up] 

  Richard Castle : [shocked]  Mother?

  Martha Rodgers : Richard?

• Martha Rodgers : [sighs]  I, um--I got tired waiting for Zane last night, so I just, uh, crawled into bed. Never could I imagine what happened to him.

  Richard Castle : Mother, why are you--

  [sighs] 

  Richard Castle : Why-- Why--

  [Esposito pokes him] 

  Richard Castle : Why were you in Zane's bed?

  Martha Rodgers : Because he was late for our session.

  Kevin Ryan : What kind of session?

  Javier Esposito : Is that what they call it?

  Richard Castle : That's enough.

  Javier Esposito : Okay.

  Richard Castle : Mother, are you saying you were sleeping with Zane Cannon?

  Martha Rodgers : Oh, drop the gavel, Richard! I was his acting coach, certainly not his mistress. The poor boy was out of his depth trying to play Hamlet, so he was referred to me.

• Kate Beckett : So, other than pissing off a homicidal drug lord, how did you enjoy our surprise date night?

  Richard Castle : Are you saying you planned my abduction by a fugitive cartel leader?

  Kate Beckett : Yeah, complete with the daring rescue and everything. It was fun, huh?

• Richard Castle : This date night is everything I dreamed it would be.

  Kate Beckett : Aww. Well, given all the recent excitement, I thought that a quiet night in would be nice for a change.

  [there's a knock on the door] 

  Richard Castle : [chuckling]  Oh! You did plan something. What is it? Flash mob? Treasure Hunt? Land Shark?

  Kate Beckett : No, no, I swear. I don't know who's at the door.

  [opening the door, a messenger hands him a box] 

  Richard Castle : Oh. Thank you.

  Kate Beckett : Oh, no. Castle, is that another credit card? Because I am YOLO'd out.

  Richard Castle : Not a credit card.

  [setting the box down, he opens it to find stacks of handwritten notes] 

  Richard Castle : Script notes, biographical materials. It's from El Oso. Beckett, you know what this means?

  Kate Beckett : He still wants you to write his script.

  Richard Castle : And he doesn't want me dead.

  Kate Beckett : Until he reads the first draft.

• [last lines] 

  [having received a package from El Oso] 

  Richard Castle : [reading card]  "These materials only cover the first two acts of our movie. The third act is yet to come and it starts with a bang."

  Kate Beckett : [answers phone]  Hey, Espo. Seriously?

  [to Castle] 

  Kate Beckett : El Oso just escaped federal detention.

  Richard Castle : What? They should call this guy El Houdini.

  [picking up the package, he heads towards his office] 

  Kate Beckett : No, wait. Castle, where are you going? Date night's not over yet.

  Richard Castle : It is for me. I gotta start writing this script. Type-y, type-y, type-y!

• Richard Castle : Yes!

  Kate Beckett : Wow. I haven't seen you this excited since... Uh, well, earlier this morning, so...

  Richard Castle : You know what this is, Beckett?

  Kate Beckett : Uh, no, but I know that a very secure messenger just brought it in.

  Richard Castle : Oh, my. It's absolutely beautiful.

  Kate Beckett : What is it?

  Richard Castle : The YOLO card.

  Kate Beckett : Like, "Dude, I just drove my mom's car into the river, #YOLO"?

  Richard Castle : No, no, no. This... This work of art will forever release YOLO from Internet jail. You see, each card was painstakingly hand-crafted by an international team of artisans. Note the flecks of actual black diamond embedded in the card, the state-of-the-art radio-frequency ID chip. The... The best part... only 10,000 people in the world were chosen to have a YOLO card, and I'm one of them.

  Kate Beckett : Castle, it's just a credit card.

  Richard Castle : "Just a credit card"? I think not, my good woman. This is a YOLO. As in, you only live once. It is... a way of life.

  Kate Beckett : No, it's a way to be obnoxious.

  Richard Castle : Oh, is it? You see, for every dollar I spend seizing my own day, YOLO matches it to help someone less fortunate seize their dreams.

  Kate Beckett : Oh, okay. Well, that's a little less obnoxious.

• Kevin Ryan : I just hope I wasn't too obvious back there. I'm just such a big fan of Erin Cherloff.

  Javier Esposito : Who, the director?

  Kevin Ryan : Yeah! She's amazing. I'm- Just speaking with her, I got this great idea for the play at Sarah Grace's preschool, where I'm a parent volunteer at.

  Javier Esposito : Wait, preschools have plays now? My preschool was going to work with my mom every day.

  Richard Castle : Oh, same here. I grew up in hallways just like this. Spending time in my mother's dressing room, experimenting with her costumes, her makeup.

  [Ryan and Espo both look at him weirdly] 

  Richard Castle : Oh, get over it. Anyway, maybe our method actress has gone a little *too* method. In the play, Hamlet drives Ophelia mad. If this is life imitating art and she's gone full Ophelia, we should be ready for anything.

• Javier Esposito : Jorge "El Oso" Zamacona. He's part folk hero, part demon, the rest pure monster.

  Kevin Ryan : The man kills anyone who crosses him. Cops, journalists, politicians.

  Kate Beckett : Zane must've been real desperate for money to wanna do business with this guy.

  Richard Castle : Maybe he wanted to be El Oso's new drug pipeline to Hollywood.

  Kevin Ryan : But chances are we'll never find out. I mean if the DEA, FBI, and the Mexican government can't find him, then what chances do we have?

  Kate Beckett : I'll reach out to my Fed contacts.

  Javier Esposito : Well, we'll drill down all of El Oso's stateside connections.

  Kate Beckett : Okay.

  [Ryan and Esposito leave] 

  Richard Castle : Well, I suppose that puts the brakes on our date night.

  Kate Beckett : Uh, yeah. Sorry, Castle.

  Richard Castle : Oh, no, I'm sorry for you. You're the one who put all the planning into our special evening.

  Kate Beckett : Yeah, I- I did. I... Yeah, I did.

  Richard Castle : You know what? I think I'll take my mother out to dinner. Maybe cheer her up after all this.

  Kate Beckett : You're such a good son.

  Richard Castle : And you're such a good everything.

• Richard Castle : It was just instinct. He was running by and I tripped him.

  Kevin Ryan : You did good, Castle.

  Richard Castle : No! Not good, I... Not good at all! I tripped a drug lord. It's my fault he got caught.

  Kate Beckett : The DEA had the building surrounded. El Oso wasn't getting away even if you didn't trip him.

• Richard Castle : I don't think date night counts when it's a candlelit dinner with the butcher of Guadalajara.

  Kate Beckett : Well, I'll- I'll plan something else. Yeah.

  Richard Castle : Something else? You didn't have a plan!

  Kate Beckett : [sighs]  Do you realize how pressure-filled this is? Always trying to top each other?

  Richard Castle : That's half the fun of it! Our rivalry is what fuels the passionate fire... Rivalry.

  Kate Beckett : What?

  Richard Castle : Rivalry. Between two brothers.

  Kate Beckett : What? What rivalry?

  Richard Castle : The one between Jorge "El Oso" Zamacona and his brother, Hector.

  Kate Beckett : A rivalry would explain why Zane was working with both brothers, but how- how do we prove it?

  Richard Castle : [typing on his laptop]  I just need to find one piece of evidence to see that I'm on the right track.

  [he stops typing and turns the laptop around] 

  Richard Castle : And that could be it.

• Richard Castle : All right, my Spanish is a little rusty, but my handy translator says...

  Javier Esposito : Hector Zamacona's been sleeping with his brother's wife.

  Richard Castle : They have been shacking up ever since El Oso went on the run.

  Kate Beckett : So, Zane might have been caught in a rivalry between the brothers, and *that's* what got him killed.

  Kevin Ryan : Hector wants more than just El Oso's wife. According to the DEA, all of his, uh, "legitimate businesses," they're suspected fronts for money laundering.

  Javier Esposito : So with big brother on the run, Hector can make a play to rule the family in his place.

  Richard Castle : But Hector can never truly own the throne until his brother is dead. A powerful family, a cartel for a kingdom, two brothers locked in a battle for control. Guys, this is just like the play. Hamlet's father is killed by his brother, who then takes the throne and marries the dead brother's wife. There's a reason they say Shakespeare endures. This is a real-life "Hamlet".

• Kate Beckett : Okay, so, thematic similarities aside, why would Hector need Zane to take down El Oso?

  Richard Castle : Because Hector didn't know where to find his brother.

  Kevin Ryan : And movie star Zane had a face-to-face with El Oso.

  Richard Castle : Making Zane the perfect Trojan horse to lead Hector to his brother.

  Javier Esposito : Why would Zane agree to do that? He wanted to star in the El Oso movie.

  Kate Beckett : Money. Hector's worth hundreds of millions. Zane needed the money now, not in three years when the movie could get off the ground.

  Javier Esposito : So Hector offers to solve Zane's money problems in exchange for Zane leading him to El Oso.

  Richard Castle : But El Oso refuses to meet with Zane.

  Kate Beckett : Then, rather than wait to see if Zane's "Hamlet" reviews are good enough to meet with El Oso, Hector decides to cut his losses.

  Richard Castle : Which, in this family, translates to murder.

• Richard Castle : Your life is, without a doubt, a Shakespearean drama.

  Jorge 'El Oso' Zamacona : I've always felt a strong connection to Macbeth. Ambitious... Uh, but tortured by conscience.

  Richard Castle : With your relationship to torture, I think you're a little more Richard III, am I right?

  [he laughs, but stops when El Oso rises from his seat] 

  Jorge 'El Oso' Zamacona : [insulted]  The hunchback?