Scream Queens (TV Series)

Rapunzel, Rapunzel (2016)

Billie Lourd: Chanel #3

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Brock Holt : [after Wes' surgery]  It's called trichobezoar. It's, uh... basically doctor talk for "hair ball". Listen, you know, you would have made our lives a lot easier and the operation a lot safer if you just would have told us the truth.

  Chanel #5 : How'd he get that much hair in his stomach?

  Chanel Oberlin : Duh. He's obviously been dating one of those Occupy Wall Street or Pussy Riot girls who think not shaving their cooter is some kind of political protest against the patriarchy or something.

  Chanel #3 : Are you saying that that's a giant Ziploc bag full of Commie pubes?

  Chanel Oberlin : Mm-hmm.

  Dr. Brock Holt : No, they're not pubes. Mr. Gardner suffers from a condition called trichophagia.

  Cathy Munsch : Oh, it's from the Greek. Trichia meaning "hair", and phagein meaning "to eat".

  Dr. Brock Holt : Yes. Exactly. That's exactly right, yeah. It's a psychological disorder that causes, uh, people to pull out and then eat their own hair.

  Chanel Oberlin : Number Five, how have you never come down with that?

  Chanel #3 : Seriously. That seems right up your alley.

• Chanel Oberlin : Give me your phone.

  Chamberlain Jackson : What? Why?

  Chanel Oberlin : Because you're being a total creeper. I mean, I would be stunned if Zayday hasn't already taken out a restraining order against you.

  Chanel #3 : Chanel's right. You're totally blowing it.

  Chanel #5 : Um... I don't agree. I, for one, would love if a guy would text me that much. Or at all.

  Chanel Oberlin : [handing Chamberlain his phone]  There. Problem solved. I blocked Zayday's number from your phone. That way if she texts you, you won't know so you won't be tempted to text her back right away. Then at nine p.m. on the dot every day, the phone will automatically unblock her number and you'll receive any text messages she may have sent you throughout the day, and you're allowed to respond with... one text. Then after an hour, your phone will automatically re-block the number and it'll seem like you're playing it cool, and she'll probably be less creeped out by you, and that's my good deed for the year. Oh, and don't think just because I'm helping you doesn't mean I don't think that you're the Green Meanie, because I still have my suspicions.

  Chamberlain Jackson : All right, that's like a double double negative and a negative, but whatever... whatever that means, I'll take it, okay?