- Sam Harper: Uh, Agent McGee? Are we witnesses here, or are we suspects?
- Timothy McGee: That depends. Did you kill De La Rosa?
- Sam Harper: No way.
- Timothy McGee: Then I guess you're a witness.
- Ellie Bishop: [reading a card from Abby] "Roses are red/They go in a bucket/Jake is a jerk/He can go suck it." That's sweet.
- Donald Mallard: You can't expect me to determine a cause of death from a instant replay.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Come on, Duck. You gotta give me something.
- Donald Mallard: All right, I can confidently rule out quicksand.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Gobbs, I don't think Abby's heart cakes are edible.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: They're tofu, DiNozzo. You keep chewing.
- Anthony DiNozzo: I don't wanna.