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Death, Death, Death and a Bucket of Chicken
Mom
Edit
Bonnie
: [
at the AA meeting
] You all have taught me how to live... and now I'm going to teach you how to die.
Marjorie
: Oh for God's sake, Bonnie, you don't even have a diagnosis yet and even if you do have cancer, that doesn't make it a death sentence!
Bonnie
: When you had cancer you talked about it all the time.
Marjorie
: That's because I ACTUALLY had cancer, you have a CHANCE of cancer, you have... CHANCER.
Dr. Patel
: Okay, drop your pants and bend over.
Christy
: [
laughs
] Not the first time a man ever told you that, mom.
Dr. Patel
: [
laughs
] That's a good one, you make a joke! Okay, let's take a look. Jeepers!
Christy
: Is that good?
Dr. Patel
: When is 'jeepers' ever good?
Steve
: [
about the mole on Bonnie's butt
] It used to be shaped like Ohio, and now it's like... Australia.
Bonnie
: Hey, nobody asked you to play Dora the Explorer.
Steve
: Where's Bonnie?
Christy
: Upstairs, and if you see anymore moles, keep them to yourself!
Dr. Patel
: We'll do a biopsy and have the results in a week.
Bonnie
: A week? I have to wait a week to find out if I have cancer?
Dr. Patel
: It's free clinic, not fast clinic.
Bonnie
: I don't feel like going to the meeting, but ask the women there to pray for me.
Christy
: Just letting you know, that won't get much.
Steve
: Looks like we've got a wedding to plan.
Bonnie
: Yeah, about that...
Steve
: You're pushing me off the plane, aren't you?
Bonnie
: I'm going to live, why would I want to get married?
Christy
: [
after finding out Bonnie had skin cancer
] Oh my God, Mom! I was so worried I was gonna lose you!
[
hugs her
]
Bonnie
: Really? Then why have you been so mean to me?
Christy
: Because that's how I love!
Christy
: What're you doing?
Bonnie
: What's it look like I'm doing? I'm cleaning the refrigerator.
Christy
: At 3 o' clock in the morning?
Bonnie
: I can't drink, I can't use drugs, let me organize our milk and cold cuts in peace!
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