Crone Wood (2016) Poster

(2016)

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6/10
never go into the woods on a first date
BtzLtd21 June 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Thats a valuable lesson i learned from this movie, but not at all until at least hafway through. i was about to dismiss this as another carbon copy found footage plop. a more thoughtfully written one with likable characters, but yeah, a variation on a theme weve all seen 300 times. thankfully, things dont just get dark. things get w e i r d. a little derivative of the original "wicker man," but some good performances and clever switcharoo camerawork carve this into an intriguing story. i will admit, i got caught by a few jump scares, which is increasingly rare. id give a 6.5 here. i likely wont watch it again, but im glad i caught it and i would recommended watching. wait for the 5th or 6th date though, har har har
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4/10
First half good, second half not so...but that lead guys oversized head...
Two newly met people decide to drive many many miles to camp to camp in some dodgy forest after meeting the previous day I think. Why didn't they just get a hotel?. Firstly the two leads. The girl (Hailey) I kinda liked her. She was believable to a point. The guy (Danny) I had some issues with. I didn't like his head. It was far to big for his body with the expanding upward hair and regulation beard it made him look like Juan Mata (Man Utd). What a wimp also. The setting was sinister enough but that would be any forest at 2.30a.m.. I felt it captured my attention until they meet that group of weird women out of nowhere. Film descends into the ridiculous.
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6/10
A new couple meets the green man
killercharm25 October 2020
Warning: Spoilers
A new couple, they just met the night before in a bar, now frolic on the Irish coast, running in the surf, popping into a fast foodish looking joint for breakies, they decide to go camping. They shop for supplies, set up camp and investigate the local witchery lore, all the while laughing, kissing and all the attendant new-couple reveals. In the night their camp gets stolen. Come to find they have encountered a green man cult. I liked this but it stopped short. I often marvel at the lack of investment in the depiction of these rituals. There should have been more than just the one melody for us to experience. The chants were a huge snooze, as were the dress and mutilations. Most of the stuff that happened in the cronery was pretty good. I just want a little more meat in the cultish things. So, me personally, I don't know if I could give this as high as a 6/10.
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3/10
Things that happen to stupid people in the woods.
frankblack-7996121 October 2019
If you like watching idiots getting themselves in deep dog doo in the woods than this film is for you. Gone are the days when films are about people with common sense that get tangled in horror that is beyond there control. Those who use good decisions and still find themselves in dire straits are what makes people feel involved with what we see in these movies. The dread that builds is all but eliminated when everything that happens is because of stupidity. Crap movie that joins many like it.
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3/10
Why God(dess), why?
susana-c-fernandes3 April 2018
I was (again) fooled into watching this movie after not noticing only 4 people had reviewed it, hence the positive grade. It's simply terrible.

Boy meets girl and she challenges him into spending a night in the woods. Their chemistry is great, the acting is very genuine and I felt really curious about what expected them in Crone Wood.

The mood is reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project and, even if I don't particularly like found-footage, they pull it off reasonably. But as soon as we understand what's going on, the movie takes a turn for the worse.

The performances of every actor other that the main two are terrible. The explanation to what's going on is interesting enough, but it's no different that another very famous horror movie which is a hundred times better than this one. The whole thing get's too ridiculous to watch on the final 10 minutes and the ending is equally stupid.

I am annoyed to have spent yet another hour and a half watching a poor movie, indie or not, I don't care, you just can't make a bad movie and call it indie to make it look better. Don't waste your time on this, go watch something, anything else.
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4/10
You're A FerTile Man. You'll Serve Your Bride Well.
wandernn1-81-6832747 January 2021
Warning: Spoilers
+1 Star for Being extremely bizarre, so mote it be....

-1 Star for Being extremely boring, so mote it be....

-1 Star for the End really having no payoff at all....

4/10.
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7/10
Old dog new tricks.
folanorama17 January 2017
What can you do with the found footage genre that hasn't been done. Not a lot. But this Irish hand held horror makes a good fist of treading new ground. First off the main characters : we don't know a lot about them but with some strong direction and subtle performances we feel like we know them and what's more like them. So after some first day together tom foolery the characters spend together the sense of dread just rises and rises as they head for a day in the forested mountains and the infamous Hellfire club. For a change we don't want the characters to die. They are funny sweet and human and doomed.

The atmosphere builds slowly and the pressure is released just at the right time, (without giving too much away) gears are switched on you and its a ride you can't get off. The story pulls the characters further and further down a rabbit hole full of twists and turns. Comparisons with The Blair Witch are obvious but its more towards the original Wicker Man that this film looks for its inspiration. If its cheap scares your looking for you won't find them here. Everything is set up and boiled until just right. Well worth a watch.
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2/10
Blah
petkanasw11 December 2020
The notes say it was shot in five days or something but it really looks more like they shot it in two. "Found footage" is always a difficult gag and this one is not convincing at all. Add to that a warmed over cult thing done so well in the 1970s "Wicker Man" that it makes you wonder why they bothered. No fault of the cast, who make the most of a lot of slowly walking around and silly cult tropes of hippie witch rituals. I don't want to include a spoiler so I will just say the actions earlier in the film make little sense when you get to the end.
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7/10
Good movie, great indie movie
gavinjcreagh10 October 2017
A few times during the movie I forgot it was an indie production and began to critic it too aggressively. A really solid production for a small budget movie. The cast were very convincing, and acted to a high standard. A fun watch, and a good contribution to the horror genre. Your review does not contain enough lines - the minimum length for reviews is 5 lines of text. Stupid rule!
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1/10
RIDICULOUSLY STUPID!!!! DUMB & DUMBER
lukem-5276017 March 2021
Just frustratingly stupid main character the Irish guy who does absolutely everything wrong!!!! Gotta be one of the dumbest Characters in Horror History lol it's almost like he wanted to be sacrificed????? Countless times to run away but no keeps hanging about an old derelict building? When he could've ran on & he hung around in the Cult guys house? Could've run on through the town & the weirdo Cult wanted him to join 'em so he could've easily said yes sure in order to save his life & pretended to go along with them & Escape later on????? DUMB DUMB CRAP FILM
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8/10
Take the flame inside you...
polymer-0746730 October 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Jaded found-footage horror tropes quickly give way to cleverly wrought escalating dread in this debut feature-length horror/thriller from writer/director Mark Sheridan.

While Crone Wood wears its folk horror heritage on its sleeve, credible performances, naturalistic set design and tangible tension rescue it from lazy facsimile.

Common to its sub-genre, the film revels in its presentation of believed-dead, pagan, pastoral rituals tied to fertility, death and rebirth, simultaneously tapping into the little-explored, darker recesses of Irish folklore and the allure of local legend - all minus the now utterly prosaic jump-scare technique.

Equal parts The Blair Witch Project, Kill List and The Wicker Man, with Crone Wood, Sheridan has not only crafted a very worthy addition to folk horror canon, but also one of the most important Irish horror films to date.
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7/10
It's a 6.5 but I can't do that so I'll go 7!
thelinnets25 July 2021
Where to start? Stupid plot. What idiot goes camping in the woods in the middle of nowhere in November in Ireland with a person you've known a day? Anyway, this happens and then almost everything else after is predictable, awkward and so clichè. But that said, I actually enjoyed this movie and the lead female was very good. It's one of those guilty pleasure found footage movies that's decent for a rainy night or for those who are new to slow burn horror.
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4/10
Wicker Man Irish Stylee with a miniscule budget
omendata12 December 2020
And to be fair they did well with what little budget there is.

Lots of hot Irish ladies and some quite icky scenes - the one with the girl sticking her finger up and licking was quite a yuck upchuck moment and the acting is more competent than most of the stalk and slash college student horror fair coming out of US film studios in the last few years and being Scottish I am biased for my kindred Irish brothers and sisters and their unique style!

This is definitely a film for the feminists and although it does not have much in the way of actual horror and has none of the pervading creepiness of the real Wicker Man and the ending is rather disappointing, it is a valiant effort so gets a fair 4/10 hatchets from me!
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4/10
I'm the green man.......
FlashCallahan25 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
........and I'm wearing half of the wood....

A young couple who've just met decide to go camping in the titular woods on a whim.

But wouldn't you believe the audacity of it all?

Their romantic night descends into terror when they run afoul of a mysterious pagan cult that calls the wood their home............

And that is the trouble with Pagan cults, sometimes they won't bother you unless you bother them ala Kill List, or they have plans for you the minute they meet you, ala The Wicker Man.

The first act is breath taking, we see our couple buy camping supplies and flirt a little bit. After that rollercoaster of a first act, we spend the second act in the woods, they get lost, and bump into a group of girls, whom may as well be wearing Antagonist T-shirts.

It's all pretty mundane stuff, our main guy is molested, tied up and dressed up like an extra from A Midsummer Night's Dream, and he's there for the pagan ritual.

But he runs off, in what the writers thought would suprise us, but you know from the moment he sips his wine, it's all over for him.

It tries to evoke chills, especially in the last ten minutes, but its pretty predictable and bland.

Just like the food served on the table.....
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2/10
A Horror Franken-flick - Wicker Man meets Blair Witch Disaster!
P3n-E-W1s319 November 2023
Story: 0.25/2 - Direction & Pace 0.25 & 0.25/4 - Performances 0.75/2 - Entertainment: 0.25/2

Total 1.75/10

Crone Wood - or should we say, the unholy union of The Wicker Man and The Blair Witch Project? It's a Frankenstein's monster stitched together from good intentions but lacking the surgeon's finesse. This film embodies what happens when you have a bright idea after a late-night horror movie marathon and an abundance of hubris but none of the skill to execute it.

The most glaring sin of the script is laziness. Writers nudging the protagonist along like a puppet on strings? Nothing he does is of his own free will. He's guided through the day by a woman professing love. It's insulting when, at the ritual, they proclaim he's done all of this out of his own free will. It smacks of lackadaisical structuring.

Now, let's talk about the missing village kids. The premise orbits around the Green Man and the Witches trying to perpetuate their community with little ones, yet the playgrounds are empty. Someone forgot to hire child actors, maybe? When the Green Man boasts of a job well done, I'd contest that, given the lack of pitter-pattering ankle-biters echoing through those woods - though it was a commendable premise.

Supposed amateur enthusiasts capture the story on their handheld video cameras. It's a choice as perplexing as it is agonizing. A directorial preference to showcase bad filmmaking as intentional is as bold as it is misguided. It's almost like they said, "Why bother with second takes? Let's throw it together and call it avant-garde!" Embracing the warts-and-all approach to filmmaking might've been novel if it didn't feel like watching someone's terrible home videos - and not the heartwarming kind, mind you. Most amateur filmmakers would sooner poke out their eyes than release something resembling this mess. Scenes drag like a tortoise with a limp, and the pace is non-existent. Brace yourself for boredom with a side of frustration.

The performances deserve a reluctant golf clap - they exist, albeit in the murky depths of mediocrity. The cast seems to have had a jolly time rambling through the woods. Alas, the joy doesn't translate to the screen.

"Stay Away! Don't Watch!" Please consider this the most earnest advice I can dispense. Your time is precious - Don't fling it haphazardly into Crone Wood's profound abyss. Mercifully spare yourself and revisit The Wicker Man; it's a masterclass when justly compared to this horror misfire.
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1/10
Avoid!
vengeance2016 February 2021
Warning: Spoilers
From the DVD Cover this looked the business! The story sounded alright but the film for the second half, went downhill!

The film follows a couple who go off to the woods one night as the girlfriend challenges her boyfriend as a sort of dare! But weird masked strangers start lurking around the forest at night & a darker revelation is about to be uncovered!

I found the film for the first 10-15 minutes to be alright, I guess it's typical that you'll see some characters build up even though I would've liked it if they had just cut it down a little. But for about 10-20 minutes after that the film was actually getting good & I was considering on keep the film at one point until the second half where it got seriously distasteful & just stupid!

While there's a good amount of horror in this film, the story, the twist & the end really let it down even the 10-15 minute character build up intro was better than the final act& that's saying something! There isn't a great deal good I could say about this film, I mean, it's the first found footage one I've seen in a great while (a new one at least!) but other than the creepy masks, a bit of eye candy & some gore, there was nothing much else! It looked promising, but failed miserably!

1/10 Overall, avoid!
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6/10
Pretty good
miss_toucan14 November 2023
I'm a big fan of found footage films, but a lot of it is absolute crap. I saw that this was streaming on Prime, and the review on the cover that compared it to a cross between The Blair Witch Project and The Wicker Man interested me.

I quite liked this movie.

Two people who hardly know each other go off on a camping trip together. Weird things start happening and there are strange people in the woods. I can't really say much else, but I'd encourage you to give it a go if you are a fan of horror, especially found footage and folk horror.

Although I did think parts were a bit predictable, I was watching it and towards the end I had absolutely no idea how it was going to end.

It really kept my interest the entire time.
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2/10
A poor man's Midsommar.
Go_For_The_Jugular29 July 2021
I'm fully aware that this film preceded Midsommar, but this what you'd get if someone saw Midsommar and then tried to copy it...with less money, less talent...and less movie.

Very engaging for the first 15 minutes...but becomes 'something on in the background' for the rest of the movie.

There's also far too much ridiculous reasons for the cast to be constantly filming. I understand if nobody is filming, there's no movie...but taking a camera EVERYWHERE for EVERYTHING is unrealistic. And 2 people filming with 2 different cameras, while eating at the same dinner table - come on, man!

Ending was an absolute pile of it!

Wouldn't recommend. Watch Midsommar if you haven't already...and watch it again if you have!
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4/10
Dull
ivindaksu23 February 2021
Anyone else tired of found footage flicks? I do have to wonder what the director actually does on movies like this. On the plus side the actress is good. Unfortunately the male lead is incredibly dull and there's no chemistry between them. Everything else is predictable and slow moving.
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8/10
"Ah ah ah! That's not nice!"
parry_na13 March 2021
In this low-key folk horror, we follow Danny and Hayley (Ed Murphy and Elva Trill) as they seem determined to get themselves into as much bother as they can. They are a likeable couple, and it's a pleasure to spend time in their company, but you do wish - as is often the case in such films - that they would just turn around and go home.

Director and writer Mark Sheridan, for whom 'Crone Wood' seems to be his last venture to date, has created an immersive found footage world. Events are presented at a fair pace, and we're never in doubt as to exactly the kind of jeopardy our heroes are in - unless he wants to reveal a further twist, that is.

Taking full advantage of the beautiful Irish location, and the notorious Hellfire Club too, which hosted a satanic group at one time. Crone Wood is well worth a visit. My score is 8 out of 10.
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1/10
Too Much Camera Movement For My Liking
darryl-jason25 March 2021
Weird Just got weirder. I'm not into these "found footage" type of movies. The film has been made with a hand-held camera and it's just frustrating moving around all over the place. I can't follow the story. I felt the same with "The Blair Witch Project". A very slow moving film but gets a little bit more interesting along the way. The only thing I found good was the unexpected twist half way through. Clearly the movie features Irish actors but the whole Irish accent doesn't do anything for me. I can't understand what they're saying. On a final note, the movie could have been a whole lot better had it featured some epic music throughout & if a professional filmmaking crew were on board with real cameras.
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1/10
What was that!?
closedbody28 July 2023
An incoherent mess of a movie. Predictable outcome. Poor storytelling. It's as if the writer / director read a book on making movies, another on horror, sprinkled in a little bit of a stereotypical love story, onboarded some unfortunate actors to deliver the hot mess of a script, hit record, and walked around the place after them wobbling the camera all over the place in the process. I wouldn't normally write reviews either but this thing really took the biscuit. Simply put, it looks like it was poorly planned and poorly managed. I'm not sure how it got released to any medium really. I've seen better and more entertaining student movies. My advice... Avoid.
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10/10
Exciting take on found footage
sophiamullan4 September 2017
A unique take on the found footage genre with all the tension and dread of 'Audition'. Great chemistry between the lead actors and fantastic pacing right up until the terrifying conclusion. Amazing to see this kind of calibre film coming out of Ireland and I look forward to seeing what Mark Sheridan does next.
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10/10
Really good film
pmcguireumc9 November 2020
I really enjoyed this film. It is a wonderful blend of Wicker Man and Spellbinder.

The film is greatly helped by the beautiful women, taut direction and a great series of plot twists. I will definitely be watching it again
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10/10
Irish indie horror gem
drgonnzo2 November 2018
This review is long overdue. It has been exactly a year since I have seen the film at IndieCork Film Festival and many of the finer details are not so clear in my mind anymore. But I promised myself to write one to support this Irish indie production at least in this smallest of ways.

When the film started I thought to myself, please not another found footage horror. But soon the film changed gears and not for the first time and I started to realize this is not another Blair Witch Project and the film began to resemble more the original Wicker Man. It was clear that the latter in particular was a big influence on the director but it was not another tired copy but a great film in its own right.

What makes this type of horror a good film, and this is true for many other films not just horror, is how well you establish the characters at the beginning before the bad stuff started happening. At that stage you have to like or hate them enough to care what happens to them. And Crone Wood succeeds to do just that, to introduce the lead protagonists to us in the short amount of time thanks to the solid performances of the actors playing them and the strong direction by Mark Sheridan. You can tell throughout the film that he is big fan and student of the horror genre which helps him to skilfully avoid the usual clichés as he plays with the twists and turns and our own expectations. Highly recommend to check this one out.
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