- Bertram Gilfoyle: [kidding over Denish] I'm like a suicide bomber of humiliation. I'm happy to go out as long as I take you with me. Your shame is my paradise.
- Richard Hendricks: You know, Erlich, uh, Pied Piper still needs a head of PR. You seem to be well-versed in media outreach. And by your own admission in that article, your "head is so far up your own ass you can see the future." And that could be useful... if we need a pre-cog in a way?
- Richard Hendricks: Monica! It's Monica.
- Donald 'Jared' Dunn: Well, let's not jump to conclusions. I mean, she's the only one who's bought a jacket.
- Richard Hendricks: Jared, she's the only one who hates the platform. There's no other explanation for this. Okay? Monica fucked us. She pulled down her pants and fucked us in front of her parents.
- Donald 'Jared' Dunn: Did some... Richard, did somebody do that to you?
- Richard Hendricks: No. No, I don't know why...
- Erlich Bachman: I heard thousands of words about rumors and the need to contain them. What do you think would happen if I didn't show up to this "Vanity Fair" event? I've already RSVP'd and given them a list of phony dietary restrictions just to cause a scene. I told them I was pesca-pescatarian. Which is one who eats solely fish who eat other fish. I think my absence would be noted.
- Russ Hanneman: What's up, boy genius? You here fucking?
- Richard Hendricks: Huh? No. No, no, no fucking. Just, uh, here for the Vanity Fair dinner.
- Russ Hanneman: Oh, yeah, I know that stupid dinner. Bunch of VC douchebags jerking each other off.