- BoJack Horseman: I never subscribed to the L.A. Gazette. I never read the L.A. Gazette. I have called this number so many times to ask you to stop sending it to me. Yet every morning I open my door on a new addition of the L.A. Gazette. It's like I'm living in a really boring episode of The Twilight Zone.
- BoJack Horseman: So then we had sex.
- The Closer: What? Why?
- BoJack Horseman: I dunno. I was lonely, she was there. Why does anyone have sex with anyone?
- The Closer: Intimacy? Affection? A deep need to connect to the world at large. The same reasons 3 million people subscribe to the L.A. Gazette.
- The Closer: When you do bad things, you have something you can point to when people eventually leave you. It's not you, you tell yourself, it's that bad thing you did. Do you often keep people at arm's length? Are you afraid of being known and knowing others?
- BoJack Horseman: I don't want to talk to someone. What I want is to have control over my own life. Which is why I'm begging you to please cancel my delivery of the L.A. Gazette.
- The Closer: I don't think you want to do that.
- BoJack Horseman: I promise you that I do.
- The Closer: No, because that's just theater. It allows you to think you're in control, but the whole idea of control is a myth. The universe is a wild beast. You can't tame it, all you can do is try to live inside it.