- [In Pottsylvania, Fearless Leader and Dmitriy monitor Rocky and Bullwinkle via spy satellite]
- Dmitriy: Fearless Leader, Moose and Squirrel are taking a long time to get to Peaceful Valley.
- Fearless Leader: Tut, tut! It is all part of the plot. And remember the words of our great protector, Mr. Big...
- Dmitriy: Whisper his name!
- Fearless Leader: ..."A watched plot never thickens!"
- [Rocky and Bullwinkle enter one end of a dark tunnel, while an express train enters the other]
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Bullwinkle, look out!
- [Crash!]
- Narrator: In another instant, Rocky flashed out of the tunnel, with the Express close behind him.
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Bullwinkle, where are you?
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Right here, Rock!
- [Rocky looks down to see Bullwinkle riding on the cowcatcher at the front of the train]
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Well get off that train! You don't have a ticket!
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: I can't! My hoof is caught in the cowcatcher!
- Rocket J. Squirrel: You mean "moosecatcher"!
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Don't crack jokes during the action scenes! Nobody hears them, anyway!
- [Boris directs Natasha's attention to an object behind a bush]
- Natasha Fatale: Boris, it's a rocket!
- Boris Badenov: You said it, kiddo! And I built it myself, personally by hand.
- Natasha Fatale: How does it work?
- Boris Badenov: First we get in seats.
- [Cut to Boris and Natasha sitting in the rocket]
- Natasha Fatale: Right...
- Boris Badenov: Then we figure angle of fire.
- Natasha Fatale: Right...
- [Boris starts working out calculations on a notepad, while Natasha watches]
- Boris Badenov: Let's see, two times two is four, six times thirteen is seventy-eight, seven times eight is fifty-four, put down seven, carry two - Aha! Thirty-two degrees.
- [Boris shows his work to Natasha]
- Natasha Fatale: But Boris...
- Boris Badenov: Then we light fuse...
- [Boris lights the fuse]
- Natasha Fatale: But Boris - !
- Boris Badenov: Then we're off!
- [the rocket takes off, while Natasha double-checks Boris's notepad]
- Natasha Fatale: But Boris, seven times eight isn't fifty-four.
- Boris Badenov: No?
- Natasha Fatale: It's fifty-six!
- Boris Badenov: [wearily] Natasha, you know what that means?
- Natasha Fatale: No...
- [the rocket crashes into a rock and explodes. Boris and Natasha parachute down from the sky]
- Boris Badenov: Now you know what that means.
- [Rocky and Bullwinkle are traveling down a river on a raft]
- Narrator: Well, Ol' Man River don't say nuthin', don't *do* nuthin'. He just keeps rollin' along. And so, in just a few days, our boys found their tiny raft floating right up to the shore of Peaceful Valley, Missouri.
- [Boris lounges with a cigar while Natasha pulls him in a rickshaw]
- Natasha Fatale: [out of breath] Are you sure this is - this is good for the figure, Boris?
- Boris Badenov: Natasha, by time we get to Missouri you will have figure just like M.M.'s.
- Natasha Fatale: Marilyn Monroe?
- Boris Badenov: No, Minnie Mouse.
- Natasha Fatale: But, Boris, Fearless Leader says Moose and Squirrel must arrive safe and sound.
- Boris Badenov: Phooey to Fearless Leader!
- Natasha Fatale: Phooey?
- Boris Badenov: Phooey, phooey, and double phooey!
- Natasha Fatale: Boris, your language! It is a family show, remember?
- Boris Badenov: Phooey to families, too!