Blindspot (TV Series)

One Begets Technique (2016)

Ennis Esmer: Rich Dotcom

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Rich Dotcom asks Agent Weller and Jane Doe if they're actually married] 

  Rich Dotcom : You two aren't actually married in real life? 'Cause you had some serious chemistry back at the Hamptons.

  Kurt Weller : [as Agent Allison Knight listens]  It's all part of the act.

  Rich Dotcom : You know, that does make sense, because I was getting a lot of non-verbal sexual cues from you. So just so you know, I was picking up what you were putting down!

• [Rich Dotcom uses Agent Weller to hold up the Gardner painting as he cuts the tension wires from the back] 

  Rich Dotcom : Okay, now, the muscle carefully lifts the painting off its hook and moves it forward about an inch. Now, this will allow the brains to sever the tension wires from its back... thus freeing it from the explosive shotgun charge. So, you know... steady hands. Once the muscle has the weight, he can't move until all five tension wires have been cut. Otherwise, you get a bunch of new holes in your face.

  Rich Dotcom : [Weller lifts the painting to put down on the floor]  Now lift, lift. Step back slowly... slowly.

  Rich Dotcom : [Dotcom looks to Jane and Allison Knight]  That's one down, ten to go. Boys versus girls?

• [Rich Dotcom sees Jane Doe and Agent Weller for the first time since his arrest] 

  Rich Dotcom : Holy derby, you two look great.

  Kurt Weller : [Weller comments on Rich's bruises]  Wish I could say the same.

  Rich Dotcom : What are you saying? I don't look tough? Are you kidding me? I got a glimpse of myself on the window here, I thought I looked pretty tough. I don't look tough?

  Jane Doe : No.

• [Agent Weller greets Rich Dotcom in prison] 

  Kurt Weller : What have you got for us?

  Rich Dotcom : Okay, well, first of all, I don't love this dynamic. Where is, 'Hello'? Where is, 'Are you okay'? Where's, 'Hey Rich, those bruises make you look super tough'? Also, what are your real names?

• [Agent Weller properly introduces himself and Jane Doe to Rich Dotcom] 

  Kurt Weller : My name is Kurt Weller. I'm a special agent with the FBI. This is our consultant, Jane Doe.

  Rich Dotcom : Jane Doe? Wow. So - So punk. Dig the ink, too. Did that hurt? I heard the neck is the most sensitive...

  Kurt Weller : [Weller interrupts him]  Where is Shohid Ahktar, and how do we get him?

  Rich Dotcom : You see, that's what I love about you two. You keep me focused.

• [Rich Dotcom tells Agent Weller and Jane Doe how he plans to get them Shohid Ahktar] 

  Rich Dotcom : I've already arranged the exchange with Ahktar. He wants to meet in the next 72 hours right here in New York.

  Jane Doe : Everybody knows you're in prison. It was all over the news. How does Ahktar expect you to meet him?

  Rich Dotcom : Because I'm breaking out. Stay with me. You fake my escape, I get you Ahktar, and then I'll go right back to prison. Medium security would be fine, okay?

• [Rich Dotcom tells Agent Weller and Jane Doe about the inmates in prison] 

  Rich Dotcom : These people are monsters in here and have, like, zero sense of humor. Also, the sex is surprisingly vanilla. I keep telling people, 'Hello, we're in prison.' 'What are you afraid of? Just get in there and go for it and just have some fun.' You know? I mean, treat me like a piece of meat.

  Kurt Weller : All right, enough.

• [Rich Dotcom tells the agents exactly where the Gardner paintings are located] 

  Rich Dotcom : The works we seek are contained within an unassuming brownstone in the heart of Cobble Hill. This pleasant home belongs to a renowned art historian, decorated former Marine, and perpetrator of the Gardner heist, professor Randall Turner. The good professor teaches at some of the finest art schools in the city, when he's not being the finest burglar of the 20th century. Exacting, precise, and sociopathically brutal when the job calls for it. If you have unlimited funds, and a flexible moral compass, and a penchant for art that's not for sale, Turner is your man. But the Gardner job was special. That one he did for himself. And to keep his precious paintings safe, he built an entire house around them, complete with the most insane security system I've ever encountered.

  Rich Dotcom : [about each security measure]  Security measure number one, the smart watch. On his wrist at all times, it disarms and re-arms every room as he walks through it. We turn down the wrong hallway without it, it triggers the alarm. Turner keeps his prized paintings in a windowless concrete gallery in the middle of his house, completely insulated from the outside world. To access it, we need to get past security measure number two, a 12-digit keypad lock, and security measure number three, a heat-sensitive palm scan. All of which brings us to security measure number four, and believe me, I've saved the worst for last. Each painting is tethered to five separate wires leading into the wall behind it. Remove the painting without disengaging the wires, and a shotgun blast fires from behind the canvas, destroying the paintings and killing any would-be thief. I mean, overkill much?

• [Rich Dotcom tells the agents that they can only steal the Gardner paintings] 

  Rich Dotcom : Ahktar is meticulous. These are the most prestigious paintings of the entire underground art world. He's gonna want to verify them himself.

  Kurt Weller : Fine, but we are FBI, so we don't need to steal them. We get a warrant and we arrest him.

  Rich Dotcom : Can we start assuming that criminals that have avoided capture their entire lives are just a titch smarter than you? Turner wears a kill switch around his neck. He even smells the word Fed, he presses a switch and the gallery incinerates, destroying all the art and any evidence that can lead to a conviction. Look, we can't arrest Turner, and we don't have time to make fakes, so if you wish to capture Ahktar, we need to steal the Gardner paintings.

• [Rich Dotcom shows the FBI agents how smart watches work] 

  Rich Dotcom : Now, these smart watches map and store movements of their users to an insane degree. It's all in the name of fitness tracking, but in the wrong hands...

  Rich Dotcom : [Dotcom holds up his handcuffs]  These, for example - they're a veritable gold mine. All we need to do is find the right line of code from the data Reade cloned from the watch and... there we go. Right?

  Patterson : That's actually - That's pretty smart. So he's isolated Turner's hand movement corresponding to when he typed in his 12-digit key code.

  Rich Dotcom : [Dotcom looks to Patterson]  It's just like looking over his shoulder, except you have to be a genius to do it.

• [Rich Dotcom shows the agents why they brought his entire storage unit to the FBI headquarters] 

  Allison Knight : [in a full room of Dotcom's junk]  One glove? You made me drag all this junk up here for one glove?

  Rich Dotcom : I didn't make you do anything. I voted field trip. You chose!

• [Rich Dotcom asks Agent Weller about him and Agent Allison Knight dating] 

  Rich Dotcom : So you two are dating, huh?

  Allison Knight : Just focus on the lock.

  Rich Dotcom : That explains why you're both so grumpy all the time. You're a terrible match. Way too similar. It's like trying to fit a square peg in a square peg. Also, I'm pretty sure she's a lesbian.

• [Jane Doe unlocks Randall Turner's door in a couple seconds] 

  Jane Doe : Ready?

  Rich Dotcom : I just got really turned on.

• [Rich Dotcom and the agents stand outside the security door to the Gardner paintings when an eye scanner opens up] 

  Rich Dotcom : Don't panic, we got plenty of time. Let me just think. We just need to...

  Rich Dotcom : [as a 90-second countdown begins on the scanner]  Start panicking.

• [the agents watch the alarm count down on the eye scanner to the Gardner paintings room] 

  Allison Knight : Well, what happens if that hits zero?

  Rich Dotcom : It gets very hot in 'hurr'. I'm sorry, terrible joke. I just got quite nervous.

• [the agents and Rich Dotcom feel the pressure of disarming the power to Randall Turner's home] 

  Kurt Weller : So... we have to be fast.

  Allison Knight : Yeah, or dead if he trips his kill switch.

  Rich Dotcom : If I'm Turner, I'm not gonna destroy my priceless beloved paintings over a false alarm. I don't think. Who feels lucky?

• [the agents get the doors open to the Gardner paintings room, needing something to hold the doors open] 

  Rich Dotcom : We need to find something to brace the doors open or else they're just gonna slam shut when the power comes back on.

  Rich Dotcom : [Weller reaches to a bronze Eagle statue, shoving it between the closing doors]  Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait... that is the bronze Eagle finial. You just made a $100,000 doorstop.

  Kurt Weller : You're welcome.

• [Agent Weller holds the last painting up as Rich Dotcom cuts the back tension wires] 

  Rich Dotcom : So tell me again why you're not with Jane? 'Cause I mean every time something goes wrong, or right for that matter, you look at Jane first - Not Allie, Jane.

  Kurt Weller : It doesn't mean a thing.

  Rich Dotcom : Some people might think it means you're more worried/excited about Jane, than you are about lady Tommy Lee Jones over there.

  Kurt Weller : [as Weller talks in a low voice]  Why don't you focus on cutting the wires and disarm the shotgun at my face and stop talking about Jane.

  Rich Dotcom : I can do both. I'm an excellent multi-tasker.

• [Asst. FBI Deputy Director Mayfair questions Rich Dotcom about knowing someone to fix the Gardner painting] 

  Rich Dotcom : I mean, even if I did know somebody, then this person could hypothetically be a fugitive. So, I would need some sort of guarantee that this person, who may or may not exist, would not get arrested if they were to help us out.

  Bethany Mayfair : I'm not giving out blind blanket immunity.

  Rich Dotcom : I'm not saying immunity, just amnesty. You know, just a freebie, one-time thing. And some money, obviously. He could probably sell that to this hypothetical, fictional person who may or may not exist.

  Bethany Mayfair : [Mayfair rolls her eyes]  Fine.

  Rich Dotcom : [Dotcom raises his hand up to shake Mayfair's hand]  All right. Put 'er... there. I just thought we'd maybe - I'll just take your word for it. Can I borrow your phone, please?

• [the FBI team meets Boston Arliss Crab for the first time] 

  Rich Dotcom : I present to you, Boston Arliss Crab, the world's premiere art restorer.

  Jane Doe : If he's the premiere art restorer, what's he wanted for?

  Rich Dotcom : He may have forged a painting or two... hundred.

• [Boston Arliss Crab slaps Rich Dotcom when they first see each other] 

  Boston : You do not get to call me out of the blue after five years of nothing and pretend like we're okay. We are not okay. You left me in Nice holding the bill for that horrifically vandalized hotel suite, and then I find out three weeks later, you're gallivanting around Rome with a woman. A woman?

  Rich Dotcom : A very beautiful, very famous woman. That's got to take some of the sting out of it. Or not.

• [Rich Dotcom asks Jane Doe if there's a Mr. Doe she's dating] 

  Rich Dotcom : So I take it you don't date very often? There's no Mr. Doe in your life? No tattooed knave with a heart of gold? You know, this new prison is going to allow conjugal visits. I just want to float that out there on this new idea cloud and...

  [as Jane faces Dotcom's head back on the computer screen] 

• [Allison Knight tells Rich Dotcom that she's his date for the Ahktar meeting] 

  Allison Knight : All right, let's get changed.

  Rich Dotcom : Um, I'm sorry, 'let's'? As in, le - Let us? As in you and me?

  Allison Knight : You think we're gonna let you go in there alone? I'm your date.

  Rich Dotcom : [Dotcom laughs]  You? You're the coppest cop that ever copped. I walk in with you, I'll be dead before the doors open all the way.

• [Rich Dotcom asks Jane Doe about what Agent Weller told her at the FBI headquarters] 

  Rich Dotcom : Hey, what did 'Stubbles' whisper to you back at HQ? Looked really intense?

  Jane Doe : He just told me to be careful.

  Rich Dotcom : Hmm. Yeah. He really seems to worry about you a lot.

  Jane Doe : We are part of a team, and teams look after each other.

  Rich Dotcom : Right. I mean, it's for sure more than that, but, hey, 'E' for effort.

• [Jane Doe and Rich Dotcom watch Ahktar shooting his handguns at his windows and guests] 

  Rich Dotcom : Oh, boy. Looks like someone's been on a bit of a bender. He gets a little paranoid when he's been doing blow.

  Rich Dotcom : [as Ahktar continues shooting around himself]  This might be a little more dangerous than I thought.

• [Rich Dotcom introduces Jane Doe to Ahktar] 

  Shohid Ahktar : Who is your friend?

  Rich Dotcom : Don't worry about her.

  Shohid Ahktar : I wasn't asking you.

  Rich Dotcom : Well, you kind of were.

  Jane Doe : [Jane whispers to Ahktar]  We aren't friends. We're just sleeping together.

• [Ahktar asks Rich Dotcom if he's holding the Gardner paintings] 

  Shohid Ahktar : Are those what I think they are?

  Rich Dotcom : God, I hope so.

  Shohid Ahktar : The Gardner paintings. Feels like a dream, doesn't it?

  Rich Dotcom : If it was a dream, I'd be naked.

• [a lady at Ahktar's party offers Jane Doe and Rich Dotcom a snort of cocaine] 

  Jane Doe : No, no, thank you.

  Rich Dotcom : Well, I'm here...

  Rich Dotcom : [Dotcom snorts a line of coke from a serving tray]  Oh, hello, old friend.

• [Rich Dotcom stands on the ledge of the rooftop as Jane Doe calls for him] 

  Rich Dotcom : Ahktar was right, I'm a dead man. I can't go back to prison. Snitches get stitches. You heard that, right? No? I'm a bird... and birds are meant to fly!

  Jane Doe : How much coke have you had?

• [Rich Dotcom tells Jane Doe one last thing before jumping off the building rooftop] 

  Rich Dotcom : Jane, listen to me. Life is short, you follow your heart. You tell Weller how you feel!

  [as Dotcom jumps off the ledge, opening up a parachute] 

• [first lines] 

  Rich Dotcom : [Rich Dotcom is seen playing cards with a few other inmates in a prison cell, chuckling]  Can you believe it? Four queens in this place? Ay-yi-yi. Oh, boy. This is my kinda night. Go on a little shopping spree with all these cigarettes, buy myself something real nice, huh? All right, who's dealing next?

• [the inmate Tiny accuses Rich Dotcom of cheating while playing cards] 

  Tiny : Nobody's that lucky.

  Rich Dotcom : No, but thankfully I am that smart, and you three are the twitchiest, shiftiest, telling-est convicted felons in the history of the game of Poker. No wonder you got caught.

  Tiny : What did you just say to me?

  Rich Dotcom : You have tells. Whenever Draco has a bad hand, he licks his lips... when Kentucky gets anything remotely good, he can't stop blinking, and whenever you have a pocket pair, you start to wax philosophically about every murder you ever committed. So if being the smartest person in the room and being a master of reading faces is cheating, then, yeah, okay, I'm a cheater. But if you're done wasting my time, maybe we can get back to playing some cards.

  [when Tiny lifts up Rich's sleeve to find him cheating] 

• [Rich Dotcom asks Agent Weller and Jane Doe if they want Ahktar or not] 

  Rich Dotcom : Okay, look... long story short, I'm not gonna make it in here, okay? I know me. These people will kill me eventually. So do you want Ahktar or not?

  Kurt Weller : I think we can make that happen.

  Rich Dotcom : You know what you just did? You just got the band back together.

• [Rich Dotcom tells the agents that he doesn't have the Gardner paintings] 

  Rich Dotcom : Did I say I had them?

  Jane Doe : Yeah, that is exactly what you said.

  Rich Dotcom : No, I'm pretty sure I left that part intentionally vague. The important thing is that I know where they are. I just need your help stealing them so we can use them to trap Ahktar.

  Allison Knight : All right, this is not part of the deal.

  Rich Dotcom : It's not not part of the deal.

• [Rich Dotcom tries to open the lock on Randall Turner's door as he talks to Agent Weller] 

  Kurt Weller : If that door's not opened in five seconds, I'm gonna break your jaw.

  Rich Dotcom : I'm just saying, historically, I have a pretty good nose for this sort of thing.

  Kurt Weller : Fine. I'll break your nose.

  Rich Dotcom : Play your cards right, you get a little holy trinity going, am I right?

• [CIA Agent Allison Knight tells Rich Dotcom and the FBI agents the code phrase for when Rich identifies Ahktar at the party] 

  Allison Knight : Since we have no idea what Ahktar looks like and only a couple phone recordings to voice match, it's on Mr. Dotcom's shoulder to confirm our tango. The second he has positive ID, which will use the phrase... 'Mustard on that beat, ho.'

  Rich Dotcom : [Dotcom raps the phrase]  'Mustard on that beat, ho!' Supposed to be in my voice.

  Tasha Zapata : Hear the phrase, take the room. Got it.

• [Rich Dotcom screams the code phrase as the shooting goes off from the FBI and ISI] 

  Rich Dotcom : Mustard on the beat, ho! Mustard on the beat, ho! Code phrase! Code phrase!