Catastrophe (TV Series)

Episode #2.4 (2015)

Sharon Horgan: Sharon Morris

Quotes 

• Rob Norris : Why haven't I cheated on you? Because... Loads of reasons. I mean, the biggest is you have been pregnant so much, so, not fucking some prostitute is the least I can do when you have been carting around our babies in your body.

  Sharon Morris : [laughs]  Wha? Why does it have to be a prostitute?

  Rob Norris : Because if you think I'm going to put time, money and effort into maybe getting into some woman's pants, you're crazy. If I ever do cheat on you, it's going to be a cash transaction with a guaranteed ejaculation, after which she immediately leaves so I can ponder suicide because of how guilty I feel.

  Sharon Morris : Aw! That's so sweet.

• Sharon Morris : Let's make our new anniversary the date we first met.

  Rob Norris : Okay. Let's do that.

  Sharon Morris : Which was...?

  Rob Norris : [Long pause]  You look so beautiful in the moonlight.

  Sharon Morris : It's the fucking 5th of March asshole.