The Pirates of Somalia (2017)

Darron Meyer: Mitch Kelp

Quotes 

• Mitch Kelp : We don't have a single source in Somalia, and I'm sure as shit not gonna get my ass shot over there trying to find out what would possess these, um... Possess these crackheads to take an unarmed tanker.

  Chrissy : Hmm. Well, Mitch, word here is our corporate insurance policy wouldn't cover you in that hellhole, and they'd hate to have a lawsuit from your family on their hands when they mail you back in pieces.

  Mitch Kelp : Thank corporate for being so considerate, Chrissy... Back to you.

  Chrissy : So until we can find one crazy motherfucker to head over to Somalia and find out what's going on, we'll continue to take uneducated guesses as to who these pirates are.